Tai Fraiser Shit, you guys, I have never had straight friends before!
Played by Brittany Murphy 
Clueless (1995) · 85 quotes
Clueless (1995) · 85 quotes
Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Clueless (1995): in 15 of its 85 quotes
Most scenes with: Cher Horowitz (9), Dionne Davenport (5), Amber (2)
Cher, I don't want to do this anymore. And my buns: they don't feel nothin' like steel
More lines from Tai Fraiser
4 quotes Tai Fraiser Tai Fraiser Wow, you guys talk like grownups!
Tai Fraiser [To Cher]
You think I'm a mentally **** airhead?
Tai Fraiser Why should I listen to you, anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive.
Scenes with Tai Fraiser
10 scenes Tai Fraiser Cher, you're a virgin?
God, you say that like it's a bad thing.
Besides, the PC term is "hymenally challenged".
But, Tai, do you really think you'd be good with Josh? I mean, he's like a school nerd.
Tai Fraiser What, am I some sort of a mentally challenged airhead?
No! Not even! I didn't say that.
Tai Fraiser What, I'm not good enough for Josh or something?
I.... I just don't think you mesh well together.
Tai Fraiser YOU don't think that WE mesh well?! Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You're a virgin who can't drive.
.... That was way harsh, Tai.
Oh, she's a full on Monet.
Tai Fraiser What's that?
You see, it's like the painting see, from far away it's okay, but up close it's a big ol' mess.
Woman, lend me fi' dollas.
Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman".
Excuse me, Ms. Dionne.
Thank you.
My street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily misogynistic undertones.
Tai Fraiser Wow, you guys talk like grown-ups.
Oh well, this is a really good school.
Tai, how old are you?
Tai Fraiser I'll be sixteen in May.
My birthday is in April and, as someone older, can I please give you some advice? It is one thing to spark up a doobie and laced at a party, but it is quite another to be fried all day.
Do you see the distinction?
Tai Fraiser (clearly confused)
Yeah.
I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do all on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. Uh, I'd like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver for taking a chance on an unknown kid, and, uh, last but not least, the wonderful crew at McDonald's for spending hours making those Egg McMuffins, without which I might never be tardy.
Tai Cher, I don't wanna do this anymore. And my buns, they don't feel nothing like steel.
Tai I could really use some sort of a herbal refreshment.
Oh, well, we do lunch in ten minutes. We don't have any tea, but we have Coke and stuff.
Tai No shit! You guys got coke here?
Well, yeah.
Yeah, this is America.
I've got an idea. Let's do a makeover!
Tai No. No.
Oh, c'mon! Let us! Cher's main thrill in life is a makeover. Okay, it gives her a sense of control on a world full of chaos.
Please?
Tai Sure. Why not? Shit, you guys! I've never had straight friends before.
Tai [pointing at Amber]
Cher, ain't that the same dress that you was wearing yesterday?
Say, Ambular.
Hi!
Was that you going through my laundry?
As if! Like I would really wear something from Judy's.
Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensemble-y challenged"?
Tai [referring to Amber]
Do you think she's pretty?
No, she's a full-on Monet.
Tai What's a Monet?
It's like the painting, see? From far away, it's okay, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?
Christian Hagsville.
See?
