Lillian quotes from Bridesmaids (2011)

View Quote Lillian: This is Dougie's sister Megan.
Megan: You must be Annie's fella?
Annie: I'm not... He's not... I'm not with him.
Megan: I'm glad he's single, 'cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree.

View Quote Lillian: You remember my cousin, Rita.
Annie: Rita!
Rita: [hugs Annie] Annie, I haven't seen you since you graduated high school.
Lillian: She has three kids now.
Rita: Three boys.
Lillian: They're so cute.
Rita: They are cute, but when they reach that age, ugh. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible, and there is semen all over everything. Disgusting. I cracked a BLANKET in half. Do you get where I'm going with this?
Annie: I do, yeah.
Rita: [gesturing] I cracked it in HALF.

View Quote Annie: Are you **** kidding me?
Annie's Mom: Annie?
Annie: No, mom. Mother**** Paris? I told you about Paris, Helen! I told you about this whole idea!
Lillian: Annie, calm down...
Annie: No, Lillian! What are you gonna go, you're gonna go to Paris with Helen now? What are you gonna, you guys gonna ride around on bikes with berets and **** baguettes in the basket on the front of your bikes? Oh, how romantic! What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Am I right? Lesbian! We're all thinking it, aren't we?
Becca: [quickly] I'm not.
Megan: I was.
Annie: Okay! Yes, we're all thinking it, right?
Annie's Mom: Annie...
Annie: Lillian, this is not the you that I know! The you that I know would have walked in here and rolled your eyes and would have thought that this was completely over the top, ridiculous and stupid! Look at this shower! Look at that **** cookie! Did you really think that this group of women was gonna finish that cookie? Really, and you know that reminds me actually; I never got a chance to try that **** cookie! [storms off]

View Quote Lillian: You know what? This is supposed to be about my time. You have managed to ruin every event in my wedding, thank you very much.
Annie: Okay, well, thank YOU very much. It's all her fault! It is not mine! And you would know that if you got your beautiful haired head out of your asshole. In fact, out of HER asshole. Which I'm sure is perfectly bleached!
Lillian: You know what? IT IS! And you know how I know? Because I went to the **** salon with her! And I got MY asshole bleached too!! And I LOVE my new asshole!