Well, that didn't end well. [Tim and Boss Baby look at "Top Secret: New Puppy" file, opened up, and he sees the text "GOTCHA!!!" written by Puppy Co Pete]
TA Tim and Boss Baby
WHAT?! [Puppy Co Pete chuckles ominously and pulls the lever, then Tim and Boss Baby scream in fall and trapped in a chair]
[Eugene groans] [laughs]
Thanks for dropping in, kids.
I see you've met my big brother, Eugene. A man of few words. [Eugene takes off his Puppy Co. Pete head and makes a growling gibberish noise] None, in fact.
Can you put your head back on, please?
[Eugene yells]
What is all this?
[takes out a Baby Corp pacifier]
Surprise!
A Baby Corp binky? Where did you get that?!?!
Oh, you don't recognize me? Perhaps from my youth!
[Francis Francis pulls a rope, separating two curtains behind him to reveal a portrait of Boss Baby's idol, Super Colossal Big Fat Boss Baby]
Super Colossal Big Fat Boss Baby?
Whoa. He is him? And him is you? Except older and wrinklier. [reacting to Francis Francis sucks on the pacifier] That's not right.
No, you were my hero! How did you end up... here?
[irritated]
You know what I do to little kids who ask lots of questions about me? Eugene!
[Eugene takes a pop-up book out of his sleeve. The boys cower, but sigh in relief after it is revealed] [happily]
I read them my story. [as Eugene sets down cookies] And... I baked cookies! Eugene, my chair.
[Eugene lowers his body to form a chair, and Francis sits on his lap] [opens the book]
Now, it all started at Baby Corp, a long, long time ago, I was a hotshot executive headed straight to the top. Everyone loved me. They gave me a promotion, the corner office, my very own...
Shing! I had it all. [sadly] But then, one day, I made a terrible discovery. I was getting... old. The formula wasn't working anymore. It turns out I was lactose intolerant.
Yes! I got called in to see the board of directors.
Who are the boring directors?
The biggest baby bosses of them all. I thought they loved me. But they replaced me with someone new, someone younger.
All of a sudden, she got all the love, all the attention. You know how that feels, don't you, Tim? It hurts, doesn't it? [hands a cookie to Tim]
Yeah, it does. [eats the cookies] And then what happened?
[weeping]
Well... [angrily snaps with a red hue glowing on his face] THEY FIRED ME!!! AND TOOK AWAY MY SPECIAL FORMULA! THEN THEY SENT ME DOWN TO LIVE WITH A… F... F... F... [stammering] family!
BABY CORP BETRAYED ME!!! AND I'M FINALLY GOING TO GET REVENGE! WITH! [Boss Baby and Tim scream, then Francis Francis flips the page to reveal a small white puppy with black ears and big green eyes; gleefully] The Forever Puppy.
[as he is flipping pages]
No, no. Imagine a puppy that never grows up. A puppy that stays a puppy forever. Once I launch my Forever Puppies to every corner of the world, they'll be so adorable...
IV Imaginary Voices
How cute!
...no one will ever want a baby ever, ever again! The end... of Baby Corp! [He does a maniacal laugh as he attempts to close the book, but the pages fold out so much that it does not close, so he angrily tosses it into a nearby fireplace]
Oh, please. A puppy that never grows up? That's impossible! [after brief silence] Isn't it?
Oh, it was, until you brought me the key ingredient!
[Eugene takes the formula from Tim's backpack]
My secret formula.
[rips the formula from Eugene's hands]
IT'S MINE! IT'S MINE! It's all mine.
[as he sends the formula up a capsule pipeline]
You brought me the very thing I needed to destroy Baby Corp!
Yes! [laughs] You walked right into my trap!
YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS!
What? Tell? Who are you gonna tell, Tim? Your parents?
[Francis Francis plays live surveillance footage of Ted of Janice looking for them]
Where are the boys?
I told them to stay in the Puppy Zone.
I'm taking them both with me to Las Vegas. So, stay out of my way. [crushes a cookie] I'd hate for them to get... terminated.
Ha! They'd never leave us alone!
Oh, really? [snaps fingers, prompting Eugene to change from his business attire to that of a Mary Poppins-like nanny] Wait until they meet Puppy Co.'s certified in-house childcare expert.
Eugene Hoo-hoo-hoo!
We'll be back before you know it.
Besides, you boys are in great hands. [Eugene laughing]
That's right, Eugenia is practically perfect in every way!
No! Please don't go with him. Francis Francis is trying to-
Oh! Believe me, Eugenia won't take her eyes off your children. Not for one second.
Now you see them... [crushes cookies] and now, you don't. [Ted and Janice are ready to the airport with Francis Francis] Too-da-loo!
Eugene Hoo-hoo-hoo!
To the airport! [Eugene takes Tim and Boss Baby to the baby's room]
It's over, I'm through. What do we do, Templeton, what do we do?
We have to get to the airport and stop Francis before the plane takes off.
Yes, but how do we get past Scary Poppins down there?
Okay, there must be something we can do... [Boss Baby cries] Hey, it's not that bad? [Boss Baby laughs] Are you okay? What's the matter with you?
Ah! DON'T LOOK AT ME! Oh no, without my formula, I have turned into a normal baby! You know, goo-goo, ga-ga, the whole bit!
[He throws the drool at Tim]
Ow!
[sighs]
I'm a ticking baby time bomb! I'm going to turn into a PUKING, POOPING, HELPLESS BABY!
Wait a second. That gives me an idea!
I've been through a lot of babysitters, and they all fear one thing.
TC TV Chef
[Now, they dump the baby food into a vacuum and add multi-colored cereal. Tim covers the baby's face with makeup and noodles. Meanwhile, Eugene watches along with a TV cooking show.]
Now ladies, the secret to deep fried butter, is a healthy dab of margarine.
Eugene Mm. Yum-yum.
Hey, Mr. Lady Man! [Eugene: Huh!?] The baby, I think he's sick! [Eugene exclaims] You gotta do something. [Tim kicks the vacuum and fake vomit spews all over Eugene.] Oh, the horror! [Tim follows Eugene around shooting green barf at him from the hose beside the baby's face. He loses his grip and the baby goes flying.]
TC TV Chef
Delicious! [Tim aims the vomit at Eugene's mouth. ]
Gross, it got in your mouth! Ew, it got in my mouth, too! I think I'm gonna be sick!
¡Vamonos al baño! [Eugene dashes to the bathroom. Boss Baby swerves the vacuum to the bathroom and leaps off.] Swirly! [He clogs the toilet lid over Eugene. Eugene gets up with the toilet stuck on his head.]
There's only an hour before the plane takes off.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's take the bike!
Uh, the bike? Um... I don't know. Ah!
Okay, but wait right here.
What? Where are you going? Templeton!
Eugene AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!
Ha! You'll never catch us!
[?]
Staci! [over speaker] Staci, come in!
W Woman
[Staci cries]
Oh, Staci.
S Staci
Is that you, boss?
Code red! I am being chased by a killer babysitter! Gather the team!
T Triplets
Got it! [?] We got a code red! Repeat. We got a code red!
What are you doing, Templeton? Go, go!
Here, I'll pay your ticket. Go! [?]
[on recording]
Flower power! [?]
J Jimbo
Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow!
J Jimbo
[?]
Poppy! [?] Run, run, run, run, run, run, run. [?]
J Jimbo
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run. [Eugene makes an evil chuckle, Tim and Boss Baby are riding a bicycle with training wheels, going after their parents, who are on their way to the airport, while being chased by Eugene]
Tim, you've gotta go faster!
You can! Ha![leaps up onto Tim's shoulder] You've got it in you, Templeton! Now, eyes ahead! I said eyes ahead, son! Buttocks up! Now pedal like you mean it! Either you run the day, or the day runs you. [Tim pedals faster, Eugene almost catches them, but Boss Baby dodges his grasp, and they get further away] Good! [the bicycle's training wheels break off] Uh-oh!
Whoa! My training wheels! I can't ride without training wheels!
Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right!
Ah! What are you talking about?
The path to success is not a straight line, Templeton, but rather a wild ride... like a ship at sea! And you're a sea captain, taming a turbulent ocean! [The scene transforms from a suburb to an ocean, with Tim and Boss Baby riding a boat]
I'm a sea captain, taming the ocean! [they evade the incoming "whale"]
Aim for failure, and you'll always succeed.
AIM AWAY FROM FAILURE! [Tim steers away from the tree, the scene transforms back into a suburb backdrop]
I'm doing it, I'm doing it! [They travel through a forest, with Eugene close behind who is smashing past trees]
Once success is a habit, then it's all down...
TA Tim and Boss Baby
HILL! [They ride down a hill, at which time, they see the car which their parents are in with Francis Francis]
Look, there they are! Mom, Dad! [as the car passes the train crossing, the train passes by] Train!
Choo-choo! [They continue to approach the train crossing, with Eugene close behind] Templeton, stop! [Tim notices a mold of sand at a construction site next to the tracks, Tim steers towards it] What are you doing? [Tim pedals faster, the scene transforms into a ramp, with them riding a motorcycle, at the end of a ramp there is a ring of fire]
But I don't have a quote for this! [They jump, Boss Baby yells out "Aaahhh!", and they make it, as the scene transform back into the "real" world, Eugene crashes into the mold of sand, ending the pursuit] (to Tim) You did it!
And all without your training wheels.
[Tim and Boss Baby are riding a bike at the airport]
Coming through!
Hang on to your diaper! Duck and cover!
G Guard
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it, buddy! I'm gonna need a strip search on two.
Um, there they are! Mom, Dad!
Hey, not so fast! Uh! Oh no. [laughs and coos] Ah! Templeton!
M Man
Hey! [Tim: Sorry!] [Boss Baby laughs and eats a coin]
Hey, where'd you go? Oh no. Not again! Not now.
Ugh! What the...? Ah! Ah, ah, ah, ah! No, no, no, no!
[takes Boss Baby]
Come on!
Ugh. I think I ate $1.75.
Excuse me, coming through! Mom, Dad!
Ah! Hurry now! Move! [Tim: Stop!] We don't wanna miss our flight! [Tim: No!] I warned you!
Wait! No! [Boss Baby: No, no!] Mom, Dad! Stop!
No, no, no! [watching Francis Francis escape on the Puppy Co. plane with his parents] They're gone.
I would've gotten to my parents if I didn't have to go back for you!
What? We would've been here in plenty of time if you knew how to ride a bike like a normal kid! We're never going to stop the launch on time.
Who cares? My parents are in danger!
I care! Baby Corp is gonna go out of business!
UGHHHH!! That's all you ever talk about! You don't even know what it's like to be part of a family!
And you don't know what it's like to have a job!
You don't know anything about hugs, or bedtime stories, or special songs!
Oh, please. Stop acting like a baby.
[gasps]
You take that back.
My life was perfect until you showed up!
Oh, believe me, kid, the feeling is mutual. I wish I'd never met you!
I WISH YOU'D NEVER BEEN BORN!
[Boss Baby is shocked by Tim's harsh words. He straightens his tie, and leaves.]
Where are you going? FINE!!
WRONG! You're not supposed to end with "Ha!"
[Boss Baby's pointer becomes a pirate sword in Tim's imagination, and the setting turns into a flying pirate ship at night; Tim, Boss Baby, and Francis Francis are all wearing pirate clothes and Tim and Boss Baby are dangling on a plank]
That's right!
What?
Boss Baby You're supposed to end with...
TA Tim and Boss Baby
AAARRGGH!
(grunting)
Hey, oh! Argh! D'oh!
[Tim and Boss Baby jump back onto the ship and engage in swashbuckling action with Francis Francis.]
You are fired!
And here's your severance package!
TB Tim, Boss Baby and Francis Francis
[Boss Baby grabs Francis Francis by the tie and tosses him off of the ship.]
Wait. No, no, no! Argh-ha!
[Platform into a void.] (yelling)
WHOAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhh!!!!!
[This is followed by a transition back to reality; Francis Francis actually fell into the pool of formula.]
Ha, ha-ha!
Take that, you scurvy scally-wag!
AF Automated Female Voice
One minute and counting.
Tim, what are you doing? NOOOOOO! [laughs]
Don't worry, Mom and Dad, I got this!
Uh, uh, that was me. [clears throat] The baby's fine. It won't budge!
Wait a second. Hey. I know a way to move my parents.
(to Tim)
But what if you go baby again?
It will be fine! [goes back into normal baby mode] Fine, fine... [slaps] FINE!! It will be fine.
Hang on to your diaper! Woo-hoo!
All right, Mom and Dad, hang on!
AF Automated Female Voice
T-minus thirty seconds.
Go, Tim! Get your parents... out of here.
You have gotta jump! Come on, it is a piece of cake! No, no patty cake, get down! [This saddens Boss Baby, who starts crying.] Don't cry, I am sorry, I am sorry, please don't cry.
AF Automated Female Voice
Twenty seconds. Fifteen seconds.
[singing]
Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life. You were only waiting, for this moment to arise.
AF Automated Female Voice
Three... [Tim: Gotcha!] two... one... blast off!
Yeah! Hey, are you still in there? Aha!
Ah! What happened? Did we win?
We won! Yes! [snores] Victory nap! Whoo!
[Boss Baby tickles Tim, then Tim laughs] [reveals in the pool of formula, turns back into baby and does a snarl, then Tim gasps]
You ruined everything!
It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair!
Ugh! Now you're really going to pay!
Oh yeah?! It's time you pick on someone your own size?!
What?! Eugene! You put me down! You hear me?! I am the boss of you!
Eugene [after Francis turns back into baby, and is asleep, clearing his voice and speaking for the first time.]
This time, we will raise him right. [making a humming tune]
Well, I am sure that is gonna turn out fine.
Oh, we love you both so much.
