Mike Shiner Leslie, play with my balls.
Played by Edward Norton 
Birdman (2014) · 13 quotes
Birdman (2014) · 13 quotes
Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in Birdman (2014): in 5 of its 13 quotes
Most scenes with: Sam (3)
Popularity is the slutty little cousin of prestige.
More lines from Mike Shiner
1 quote Mike Shiner Scenes with Mike Shiner
3 scenes Mike Intimidating, isn't it?...You have any idea the people who have walked on these boards...Before you? Geraldine Page, Helen Hayes, Jason Robards, Marlon Brando and now...Riggan Thomson.
(Chuckling)
Yeah. Hey, Thanks for coming in on such short notice, Mike. I Really appreciate it.
Mike This is what I do. You wrote this adaptation?
I did, yeah.
Mike And you're directing and starring in your adaptation?
I am, yeah.
Mike That's ambitious.
Well, Thanks.
Mike Well, it's a good theater. I can't speak for your play, but let's,uh, let's do a little bit of it, yeah?
Oh, I didn't expect you to come in and, you know, just jump right in.
Mike It's first preview tomorrow night, man. Let's get to work.
Okay, Well, you know, look, you know, feel free to take the script up until you feel comfortable.
Mike No, no, no, no let's just...let's just do some of it.
All Right. Okay, uh, hey, take a look at page 20.
Mike I'm good; I don't need that.
What?
Mike I don't need the script, Just give me a cue.
What are you talking about?
Mike Feed me a line.
Well, how-how are you gonna
Mike Feed me a line.
Okay, All Right. Okay,uh, let me think. Uh, Yeah, Uh.."Hey I'm the wrong person to ask, okay? I didn't actually know the man. I only heard his name mentioned in passing.
Mike Mm-hmm.
I don't know. You'd have to know the particulars, but I think what you're saying is love is absolute.
Mike Is that what I'm saying? Am I saying love is absolute?...Yes. Okay, yeah. "The kind of love that I'm talking about is absolute.The kinda love that I'm talking about you don't try to kill people."
How do you know the lines?
Mike It's a thing I have, I don't know, it's a gift.
Wow, okay, well that's...
Mike (Chuckles)
Oh, come on, man. I've been...I've been helping Lesley get off book for like a month.
Oh, right, right.
Mike These line are...(Points to his head)
That makes sense.
Mike That's good, Give me that cue again.
Okay, Okay, "Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't actually know the man. I've heard his name mentioned in passing, but, you know, I didn't know. You'd have to know the particulars. I think what your saying though is that...
Mike Can I make a suggestion?
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Sure.
Mike I mean, do you mind?
No, no, no, not at all. Not at all.
Mike Oh, okay.
Take a look.
Mike No, no, for-forget that (Referring to the script)
Okay.
Mike Just...Stay with me.
Yeah.
Mike I'm the wrong person to ask,"he says,
Right.
Mike But what is that?...What's the intention in that?
I think...
Mike Is he fed up with the subject, so he's changing it? Is he deflecting guilt over the marriage? And here's the thing, you've got four lines after that...
Right.
Mike ...that all say the samething. "I didn't even know the man." "I only heard his name mentioned in passing." "I wouldn't know." "You'd have to know the particulars."...And the particulars, I mean, it sounds like my grandmother, but-But the point is...you don't know the guy...
Right.
Mike ...We **** get it...
Yeah.
Mike ...Make it work with one line. "I didn't even know the man."...Right?
Right...Wait, how do...You know my lines, too, huh?
Mike Can we not get hung up on knowing lines?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike Can we just work on this...
Yeah, yeah, right, right.
Mike Tear it apart, whatever? So why don't you just give me that samething again but cut it down.
Uh-huh.
Mike Try it.
Okay.
Mike Just try it.
Uh..."Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't actually know the guy."
Mike OH!NO! But that's the thing, see? "I'm the wrong person to ask." What is it?...I think it's "**** you." **** you. Don't put me on the spot, man. Don't make me feel self-conscious about my marriage while my wife is sitting...(pointing to table seats)
Right there
Mike ...Right there.
Yeah.
Mike Can I sit down?
Yeah, sit, sit. Good idea
Mike Okay. Thanks.
Yeah.
Mike So just give it to me as a "**** you."
Alright.
Mike Try it, lay it on me.
Well, I'm thinking...
Mike Let's just do it.
Yeah.
Mike Give it to me. **** me hard.
Right.
Mike Just give it...
Okay.
Mike COME ON! DON'T TALK ABOUT IT! JUST **** DO IT (Slams hands on table)
"HEY, I'M THE WRONG PERSON TO ASK! ALRIGHT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY, OKAY? WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
Mike What's my point?
YEAH, WHAT'S YOUR POINT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? SPIT IT OUT.
Mike Oh! Oh!
YOU'RE SAYING WHAT? What are you saying? You're saying love is absolute.
Mike YES! YES! THE KIND OF LOVE THAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, IT IS ABSOLUTE! THE KIND OF LOVE THAT I'M TALKING ABOUT...you don't (Slams his hand on the table and Fains crying)...You don't try to kill people.
...Yeah. Good.
Mike I don't know what do you think Boss? You want to do this...with me?
Wow. Okay. (Point's to Sam) What do you think?
Everybody's back. Larry needs to see him for a fitting.
Mike I'll take that as a yes.
Mike Does she speak?
She does. Yeah, she can sit, stay, and roll over if you have any treats.
Truth or dare?
Mike Truth.
You're boring.
Mike No, truth is always interesting.
Other characters in Birdman
More Edward Norton characters
Narrator
Lester "Worm" Murphy
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy
Derek Vinyard
Rex
Will Graham
King Baldwin IV
Roy