Alice in Wonderland (1951) · 50 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Alice in Wonderland (1951): in 6 of its 50 quotes
Most scenes with: Mad Hatter (5), Alice (4), Queen of Hearts (2)
I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party. [March Hare offers her a cup of tea] Thank you.
March Hare Birthday? My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party!
Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.
Unbirthday? I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand.
March Hare It's very simple. Now, thirty days has Septem -No. wait... An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then you - [laughs] She doesn't know what an unbirthday is.
Would you like a little more tea?
Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.
March Hare Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.
Yes. You can always take more than nothing.
Ah thank goodness! Those are the things that upset me!
March Hare See all the trouble you started?
But I didn't think...
March Hare Ah, that's just it. If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk.
What's the matter, my dear? Don't you care for tea?
Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea, but-
March Hare If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!
March Hare I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject.
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Riddles? [to herself] Let me see. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
I beg your pardon?
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
March Hare Careful! SHE'S STARK RAVING MAD!
But it's your silly riddle. You just said...
March Hare How about a nice cup of tea?
March Hare THE TIME! THE TIME! WHO'S GOT THE TIME?
N-n-n-no time, no time, no time! Hello, good bye, I'm late, I'm late.
The rabbit!
I'm so late! I'm so very late.
Well, no wonder you're late! Why this clock is EXACTLY two days slow!
Two days slow?
Of course you're late! [chuckles as he dunks the watch in the tea] MY GOODNESS! We'll have to look into this. [places a salt shaker over his eye and uses it as a jeweler's eyepiece ] AHA! I see what's wrong with it! [starts to pry parts out of the watch with a fork ] Why, this watch is full of wheels!
BUTTER! Of course! It NEEDS some butter. BUTTER!!!
March Hare BUTTER!!!
Butter! Oh, thank you! Ha ha! Yes! That's FINE! Yes, thank you!
Oh, no, no! No, no! No! You'll get crumbs in it!
Oh, THIS is the VERY BEST butter! [throws butter in rabbit's face] What are you talking about?
March Hare Tea?
Oh, tea! I never THOUGHT of tea before! OF COURSE!
NO!
TEA! HEHEHE!
March Hare Sugar?
SUGAR! TWO SPOONS! Yes, ha, TWO SPOONS thank you, Yes! (jams the spoons straight into the watch)
March Hare JAM?
JAM! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT JAM!
NO! NO! NOT JAM!
Yes, sure you want. It's nice to see.
March Hare MUSTARD??
Mustard! yes...huh? MUSTARD?! DON'T LET'S BE SILLY!!! LEMON, that's different, that's... yes. THAT should work! Hahaha! [watch starts going crazy] LOOK AT THAT!
March Hare IT'S GOING MAD!
OH, MY GOODNESS!
OH, DEAR!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT'S THE BEST BUTTER!
March Hare IT'S GOING MAD! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH!!!
OH, MY GOODNESS! OH, DEAR, LOOK AT THAT!
March Hare THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP A MAD WATCH! [smashes watch with a mallet; scene changes from color to black and white, then color again]
Two days slow. That's what it is.
What do you know about this unfortunate affair?
March Hare Nothing.
Nothing whatever?
March Hare Nothing whatever!
THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT!! Jury, write that down!
Oh, my! [takes his hat off which reveals a teapot and teacup, giggles]
Where were you when this horrible crime was committed?
I was home drinking tea. [pours tea into a cup] Today, you know, was... [drinks tea] ...my unbirthday.
Why, my dear, today is YOUR unbirthday too!
It is?
March Hare It is?
IT IS??? [to Alice's horror]
