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Look, you're about to cram like...10 years of pimpage into one day. Partner, after that....you're on my level.
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Hey, Andy! We're gonna have to get you some poonanny!
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Go **** a goat.
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[About his ex] She was adorable... ****in' bitch.
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[reading his novel aloud while typing it] "But dad..I don't know how to love..you never taught..taaaught me how.."
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[When he gets in the fight with Trish] Okay, first of all I'm not in the stockroom anymore, I'm a floor manager.
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[Watching Dawn of the Dead] Whoa! **** that **** up! Bitch, get out of room! Bitch, get out the room!
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Looks aren't important. Look at me. Really look at me. I am ugly as ****, by traditional standards, but I still get with women. Aren't you curious as to how that's possible?
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[Arguing with Mooj] Why are you always telling me to go **** a goat, man?
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Yup. She was a ho. [Pause] For sho.
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From now on, your dick is my dick. I'm getting you some pussy.
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[After crashing through a billboard on his bike] There were two sides to that billboard, and they both hurt equally.
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Is this that movie about babies that are geniuses?
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[Being bitter about Amy] If she wants to be some immature little bitch and blow everybody, that's love.
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Hey, enjoy that orange.