Photo: TMDB

Jake Johnson movie quotes

10 quotes from 3 movies

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) as Peter B. Parker

View Quote [Mary Jane: Did you bring our baby to another fight?] You asked me not to do it, so I didn't. I wouldn't.

View Quote Come on. Go easy on the kid. He had a terrible teacher.

View Quote You say, "The fate of the multiverse," and my brain dies.

All 6 quotes from Peter B. Parker »

Jurassic World (2015) as Lowery Cruthers

View Quote Simon Masrani: The very existence of this park is predicated on our ability to handle incidents like this. It was an eventuality, okay?
Lowery Cruthers: You should put that in the brochure. "Eventually, one of these things will eat somebody."

View Quote Vivian: Did you close the deal?
Claire Dearing: Looks like it. Verizon Wireless presents the Indominous Rex.
Lowery Cruthers: Ugh, that is so terrible. Why not just go the distance, and just let these corporations name the dinosaurs?

View Quote Claire Dearing: [noticing the Jurassic Park t-shirt Lowery is wearing] What is that?
Lowery Cruthers: Oh. I got off of eBay. Cost me $150, but the mint condition one was for $200, so, this was-
Claire Dearing: Don't you think that's in poor taste?
Lowery Cruthers: I know. It was terrible. I mean, I know a lot of people died, but, that first park was just legit, you know? They didn't rely on all these genetic hybrids. They had real dinosaurs.
Claire Dearing: Just don't wear it again.
Lowery Cruthers: Right. Okay, I won't.

No Strings Attached (2011) as Eli

View Quote Ten years from now you will be having sex with your wife, and it’ll be in the missionary position. And one of you will be asleep.