Jack Albertson movie quotes

View Quote Willy Wonka: All aboard, everybody.
Mr. Salt: Ladies first and that means Veruca.
Grandpa Joe: [to Charlie] If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid.

View Quote Grandpa Joe: Come on, Charlie, let's get out of here. I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do. If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one.

View Quote [about Violet]
Charlie Bucket: Grandpa, why doesn't she listen to Mr. Wonka?
Grandpa Joe: Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit!

View Quote [Tod struggles to get up but falls]
Copper: Tod?
Amos Slade: [angrily to Copper] C'mon, Copper. Get outta away. [Copper stands his ground. Amos keeps his gun aimed at Tod. With a sigh, he lowers his gun] Well, come on, boy. Let's go home.

View Quote Dinky: Good work, Boomer. We've got him this time. Shh! I think he's in there.
Big Mama: Whew! Am I glad I found you boys. There's no time to lose. I need your help. Now come on. Come on.
Dinky: Let's go, Boomer. Come on.
Boomer: Yeah, but... Oh, shucks. Oh, poor little guy.
Big Mama: Don't you worry now. We're going to find someone to look after you.
Dinky: Hmm. Hmm. Hey, I think I got an idea. [Boomer chuckles] OK, Boomer, now you know what to do.
Boomer: Yeah, leave it to me. Leave it to me.
Widow Tweed: Who is it? Well, I was sure I heard someone knocking. [gasps] Oh, dear! My laundry! Oh, here! Stop it! Oh, you pesky birds! Will you come back here? Oh, stop! Well, I wonder what got into those birds. Well, bless my soul! Why, it's a baby fox. Oh. Hello, little fella. I wonder where its mother is. Come on, now. I'm not going to harm you. Now, now. Oh, isn't that? Oh, my, my. You're a feisty little rascal, aren't you? There, there, now. Calm down. No, I just can't leave you out here all alone. Oh, isn't he darling? Now, not so fast. Now, now, not so fast. Oh, my. You're such a little toddler. Say, that's what I'm going to call you. Tod. You know, Tod, I'm not going to be so lonesome anymore.
Amos Slade: [to Chief] I got a surprise for you, Chief, old boy. Now, now, now, take it easy. Well, how's this for a hunting dog? He's just a little runt now, but he'll grow. You may as well get used to him, Chief. He's for you to look after from now on.
Widow Tweed: [to Tod; Abigail angrily mooing] Tod, stop pesterin' Abigail. [to Abigail] Abigail, you're going to have to be patient with Tod. He's one of the family now. Oh, of course. [as she is milking Abigail] Now I know. I declare, I never will get my chores done. [to Tod] Oh, mercy! Tod?! Tod, stop it! Abigail! Abigail! Oh, no! There goes my milk! OH, NO! [to Abigail] Easy, easy, Abigail. Steady, old girl. Steady. There, there. Tod, you come here. I said come here! Just look what you've done. Now, don't try to butter me up. Oh, Tod, I just can't stay angry with you. You little imp. Now run along and play. Go on. And try to stay out of mischief.
Young Tod: Hey, it's Dinky and Boomer. Maybe they wanna play.
Dinky: Is this it, Boomer?
Boomer: Sure, Dinky. This is the place. I never forget a tree. I never forget a tree.
Dinky: He won't get away this time. Hold it, Boomer. I think I hear something.

View Quote Widow Tweed: [hears a shot; shocked] Tod! [Amos shoots his gun, but misses Tod] Amos Slade, you trigger-happy lunatic! Give me that gun! [takes Amos' gun and angrily shoots the radiator of Amos' truck, which hisses]
Amos Slade: My radiator! Why, you blasted female. I'll... I'll...
Widow Tweed: [aims the gun at him] Hold it right there!
Amos Slade: Watch it! That thing's loaded!
Widow Tweed: [shoots the last bullet in the air] Now it ain't loaded! [tosses the empty gun back to Amos, who throws it into his truck]
Amos Slade: Dagnabbit, woman! Your thieving fox was after my chickens!
Widow Tweed: Rubbish and poppycock! I don't believe it. He wouldn't hurt a thing.
Amos Slade: You calling me a liar, you muddleheaded female? I saw it happen!
Widow Tweed: Amos Slade, that temper of yours is going to get you into a lot of trouble someday.
Amos Slade: Temper? Temper, woman? You ain't seen my temper! [throws his hat to the ground and stomps on it] If I ever catch that fox on my property again, I'll blast him! And next time, I won't miss!
Widow Tweed: Poor little tyke. It's a shame I have to keep him cooped up. Tod, stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault, you know. You caused a lot of trouble yesterday. Oh, now what are they up to? Why, it looks like Amos is going on a hunting trip. A long one, from the looks of it. Hmm. Well, good riddance!
Amos Slade: [tries to fix his truck up] Doggone meddling female, shooting up my radiator! Dad blame it. [kicks his truck in the front] Get going! [his truck finally works right] There. Well, that's more like it. Keep running, old girl. Well, Copper, me and old Chief are gonna teach you all about hunting. Yes, sir. It's about time too. Attaboy. Yeah, you're gonna like tracking down those varmints for me.
Chief: Uh-uh. Get in the back, half-pint. You gotta earn your right to sit up front.
Amos Slade: Well, boys, we're getting out of here till next spring.
Big Mama: Tod, honey, what are you doing over here?
Young Tod: Gee, I just wanted to say goodbye to Copper, but I'm too late.
Big Mama: Well, what did you plan to do if you ran into old Chief?
Young Tod: Ah, Chief. I can outfox that dumb old dog anytime.
Big Mama: Tod, now hold it just one minute. Didn't you learn anything yesterday? Now you listen good, because it's either education or elimination. Now if you're so foxy and old Chief's so dumb, then why does that hound get the fox on the run? 'Cause he's got the hunter, and the hunter's got the gun. Ka-bam! Elimination. Lack of education. If you pal around with that Copper hound, you'll wind up hanging on the wall. Keep your nose to the wind and you'll keep your skin 'cause you won't be home when the hunter comes to call.
Young Tod: Oh, Big Mama, I know Copper would never track me down. Why, old Copper, he's my best friend.
Big Mama: Your best friend. Now, Copper's gonna do what he's been told. Supposed to chase the little old fox into the old foxhole, then along comes the hunter with a buckshot load.
Boomer: Ka-ka-ka-bam!
Big Mama: Elimination.
Dinky: Lack of education.
Big Mama: You better believe it, Tod. Yes, sirree!
Young Tod: You mean Copper is gonna be my enemy?
Dinky: Hey! Kid, you better step over here and take a good look.
Young Tod: Why, that's awful. Those poor things.
Big Mama: I'm sorry, Tod. Honey, Copper's gonna come back a trained hunting dog. A real killer.
Young Tod: Oh, no, not my friend Copper. He won't ever change.
Big Mama: I hope you're right, Tod.
Young Tod: And we'll keep on being friends forever, won't we, Big Mama?
Big Mama: Darling, forever is a long, long time, and time has a way of changing things.

View Quote Manny Rosen: Belle, be careful.
Belle Rosen: You think I'm planning on being careless? [dives in]
Mike Rogo: What the hell does he think she's doing?!
Manny Rosen: Let her go. She knows what she's doing.

View Quote Linda Rogo: This is a bunch of crap. We're sinking and nothing's going to keep us from drowning.
Mike Rogo: Keep moving.
Manny Rosen: He's right, Mrs. Rogo, there are air pockets all over the ship.
Linda Rogo: Air pockets?
Manny Rogen: Yes, just because that deck is flooded doesn't mean this one will.

View Quote Reverend Frank Scott: Your place is with the living. If you don't come with us, her death is meaningless, now come on.
Manny Rosen: All right, you go first. I want to stay with her a little longer.
Reverend Frank Scott: You've got one minute.