'Round the world and home again, that's the sailor's way! [From "Homeward Bound" by William Allington.]
Willy Wonka
Gene Wilder · 58 quotes
Veruca Salt
Julie Dawn Cole · 15 quotes
Charlie Bucket
Peter Ostrum · 11 quotes
Grandpa Joe
Jack Albertson · 10 quotes
Oompa Loompas
8 quotes
Mrs. Teevee
Nora Denney · 4 quotes
Sam Beauregarde
Leonard Stone · 4 quotes
Violet Beauregarde
Denise Nickerson · 4 quotes
Mr. Turkentine
David Battley · 3 quotes
Stanley Kael, Second News Anchorman
3 quotes
First News Anchorman
1 quote
Most scenes together: Willy Wonka & Veruca Salt (9), Willy Wonka & Grandpa Joe (7), Grandpa Joe & Charlie Bucket (7)
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory quotes
Page 1 of 7'[From William Shakespeare's Merchant Of Venice, Act 5, Scene I - Portia - That light we see is burning in my hall. How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.
[to Grandpa Joe]
You know... I'll bet those golden tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.
Computer Inventor
I am now telling the computer exactly what he can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate!
Computer Operator
Gentlemen, I know how anxious you've all been during these last few days. But now I think I can safely say that your time and money have been well-spent. We're about to witness the greatest miracle of the machine age. Based on the revolutionary Computonian Law of Probability, this machine will tell us the precise location of the 3 remaining golden tickets. [pushes buttons on the machine; the machine prints out a response] It says: "I won't tell. That would be cheating." [pushes the buttons on the machine again] I am now telling the computer that if it will tell me the correct answer, I will gladly share with it the grand prize. [the machine prints out another response] He says: "What would a computer do with a lifetime supply of chocolate?" [sighs, then pushes the buttons once again] I am now telling the computer exactly what he can do with the lifetime supply of chocolate.
I'm sending you the cleaning bill, Mr. Wonka!
T.V. Anchorman
Four down and one to go. And somewhere in this world, another person is moving closer and closer to winning the last of the most sought after prizes in history. Though we cannot help but envy him, whoever he is, and we may be tempted to be bitter in our own losing, we must remember that there are plenty more important things in life. Offhand, I can't remember what they are, but I'm sure there must be something.
The Tinker "Up the airy mountain, down the rushy glen; We dare not go a-hunting, for fear of little men." [A quote from William Allingham's poem The Fairies]
What is this, a freak out?
Grandpa, look at Augustus! [pointing to Augustus Gloop leaning over face down, heavily slurping from the chocolate river]
Don't worry, Charlie. He can't drink it all.
Augustus [slurps, but a few seconds later, he plummets into the chocolate]
Aarghh!
Mrs. Gloop Save him!
Augustus Help! Help! Fish me out!
Mr. Wonka, what's gonna happen to the other kids? Augustus, Veruca?
My dear boy, I promise you they'll be quite all right. When they leave here, they'll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they'll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don't worry about them.
Er...what do we do now, Mr. Wonka?
Yes, well...I hope you've enjoyed yourselves, excuse me for not showing you out, you'll find the way, I'm terribly busy. Whole day wasted. Good-bye to you both, Goodbye. [quickly disappears into his office]
What happened? Did we do something wrong?
I don't know, Charlie... but I'm gonna find out.
What was that we just went through?
Hsawaknow.
Is that Japanese?
No, that's Wonkawash spelled backwards.
Come on, Charlie, let's get out of here. I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do. If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one.
Mr. Wonka?
I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
I just wanted to ask about the chocolate, the lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?
He doesn't.
Why not?
Because he broke the rules.
What rules? We didn't see any rules! Did we, Charlie?
Wrong, sir! WRONG! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void IF - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy! - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera..."Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum,"[the torch of the mind lights the path to glory] et cetera, et cetera..."MEMO BIS PUNITOR DELICATUM"!! [I remember the spoiled punisher twice] It's ALL there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!!
You're a crook. You're a cheat and a swindler! That's what you are! How can you do a thing like this?! Build up a little boy's hopes, and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! (furiously) YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER!!
I SAID "GOOD DAY!!!"
(he goes on about his work)
Henry Salt
What is this, Wonka? Some kind of funhouse?
Why? Having fun?