Willy Wonka We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. [A quote from Arthur O'Shaughnessy's "Ode."]
Most-quoted character in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971): in 58 of its 95 quotes
Most scenes with: Veruca Salt (9), Grandpa Joe (7), Charlie Bucket (6)
In spring time, the only pretty ring time. Birds sing, hey ding, A-ding A-ding. Sweet Lovers love...the Spring. [from As You Like It by William Shakespeare.]
More lines from Willy Wonka
39 quotes Willy Wonka Willy Wonka A small step for mankind, but a giant leap for us. [Misinterpretation of Neil Armstrong's famous quote upon being the first man to walk on the moon.]
Willy Wonka Where is fancy bred? In the heart or in the head? [From The Merchant of Venice.]
Willy Wonka The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last. [A quote from Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest."]
Willy Wonka Candy is dandy; but liquor is quicker. [A poem by Ogden Nash.]
Willy Wonka [as the Wonkamobile sprays foam everywhere]
"Martha! Martha! Du entschwandest, Und mein Glück nahmst du mit dir; Gib mir wieder, was du fandest, Oder teile es mit mir." [From Friedrich von Flotow's opera Martha. Translation: "Martha! Martha! You have vanished, and you take my joy with you; Show me what you have found, or split it with me."]
Willy Wonka Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple. [A reference to Thomas Alva Edison's famous aphorism.]
Willy Wonka Is it my soul that calls upon my name? [A quote from Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.]
Willy Wonka [singing]
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. [A well-known proverb before Roald Dahl used it; Horace writes, "Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem: Dulce est desipere in loco."]
Willy Wonka [Referring to the soda-powered Wonkamobile]
A thing of beauty is a joy forever. [Quoting John Keats.]
Willy Wonka All I ask is a tall ship and a star to sail her by. [From "Sea Fever" by John Masefield.]
Willy Wonka [softly singing, then shouting, on the famous boat ride]
There's no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing, or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? is it snowing? is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing, AND THEY'RE CERTAINLY NOT SHOWING ANY SIGNS THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!!
Willy Wonka 'Round the world and home again, that's the sailor's way! [From "Homeward Bound" by William Allington.]
Willy Wonka You should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about. [A quote from "The Microbe" by Hilaire Belloc.]
Willy Wonka [singing]
There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there, you'll be free if you truly wish to be.
Willy Wonka [singing]
If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. Want to change the world? There's nothing to it.
Willy Wonka I told you not to silly boy.
Willy Wonka No other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall. But it's the only way if you want it just... right.
Willy Wonka Everything inside is eatable, I mean edible, I mean you can eat everything.
Willy Wonka Well... Two naughty, nasty little children gone... Three good, sweet little children left.
Willy Wonka For some moments in life there are no words.
Willy Wonka Oh! I wouldn't do that. I really wouldn't.
Willy Wonka [opening lock]
Ninety-nine... forty-four... one hundred percent pure. [A reference to Ivory Soap, which was advertized as being '99.44% pure'.]
Willy Wonka If the good lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates.
Willy Wonka Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three...
Willy Wonka Bubbles, bubbles, everywhere, and not a drop to drink...yet. [A reference to Coleridge's "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner".]
Willy Wonka [As he picks up the Everlasting Gobstopper relinquished by Charlie on his desk]
"So shines a good deed in a weary world." [Paraphrased from William Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice, Act V, Scene 1. The word "naughty" was changed to "weary" for the movie.]
Willy Wonka Little surprises around every corner but nothing dangerous!
Willy Wonka Hurry! We have so much time and so little to do! Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.
Willy Wonka Open your mouth a little wider when you speak. [Quoting the Red Queen from Through the Looking-Glass.]
Willy Wonka Adieu! Adieu! Parting is such sweet sorrow. [From William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene 2. Originally "Good night! Good night! Parting etc."]
Willy Wonka [with apathy]
Stop. Don't. Come back.
Willy Wonka And so shines a good deed in a weary world. [When Charlie puts the Everlasting Gobbstopper on Wonka's desk.] -
Willy Wonka '[From William Shakespeare's Merchant Of Venice, Act 5, Scene I - Portia - That light we see is burning in my hall. How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.
Willy Wonka [sings]
If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it.Anything you want to, do it; want to change the world... there's nothing to it.
Willy Wonka [sings]
There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination.Living there, you'll be free if you truly wish to be.
Willy Wonka [sings]
A little nonsense now and thenIs relished by the wisest men.
Willy Wonka Not original to this work, the proverb dates from at least the 18th century.
Willy Wonka [in the tunnel]
There's no earthly way of knowingwhich direction we are going.There's no knowing where we're rowing,or which way the river's flowing.Is it raining? Is it snowing?Is a hurricane a-blowing?Not a speck of light is showing,so the danger must be growing.Are the fires of hell a-glowing?Is the grisly reaper mowing?!Yes! The danger must be growing,for the rowers keep on rowing.And they're certainly not showing...any signs that they are slowing!
Scenes with Willy Wonka
18 scenes
Come on, Violet. We're getting out of here.
Willy Wonka Oh, you can't get out backwards. You've got to go forwards to go back, better press on.
Willy Wonka The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
Snozzberries? Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
Willy Wonka [Wonka grabs Veruca's jaw]
We are the music makers... and we are the dreamers of dreams.
Well they can't be real people.
Willy Wonka Well of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt
Stuff and nonsense.
Willy Wonka No, Oompa Loompas.
The Group
Oompa Loompas?
Willy Wonka From Loompaland.
Loompaland? There's no such place.
Willy Wonka Excuse me, dear lady...
Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Willy Wonka Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt
Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Willy Wonka I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away.
Mr. Salt
All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Can it, you nit!
Mr. Salt
What is this Wonka, some kind of fun house?
Willy Wonka Why? Having fun?
Mrs. Gloop My son! He'll be made into marshmallows in five seconds!
Willy Wonka Impossible, my dear lady! That's absurd! Unthinkable!
Mrs. Gloop Why?!
Willy Wonka Because that pipe doesn't go to the marshmallow room, it goes to the fudge room.
Mrs. Gloop You terrible man!
[Wonka has just handed Everlasting Gobstoppers out to all the remaining kids]
Hey, she's got two! I want another one!
Stop squawking, you twit!
Willy Wonka Everybody has had one and one is enough for anybody. Now come along. Now over here, if you'll follow me, I have something rather special to show you.
Mr. Salt
Well, it's special, all right. I hope my Veruca doesn't want one. [he laughs]
Willy Wonka Don't you know what this is?
By gum, it's gum!
Willy Wonka Wrong! It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world.
What so fab about that?
Willy Wonka This little piece of gum is a three course dinner.
Mr. Salt
Bull.
Willy Wonka No, roast beef. But I haven't got it quite right yet.
Willy Wonka All aboard, everybody.
Mr. Salt
Ladies first and that means Veruca.
Mr. Salt
Wonka, how much do you want for the golden goose?
Willy Wonka They're not for sale.
Mr. Salt
Name your price.
Willy Wonka She can't have one.
Who says I can't?!
Mr. Salt
The man with the funny hat.
Willy Wonka [After Veruca falls down the chute]
She was a bad egg.
Mr. Salt
Where's she gone?
Willy Wonka Where all the other bad eggs go: down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt
[laughs heartily]
Oh, the garbage chute. Where does it lead to?
Willy Wonka To the furnace.
Mr. Salt
[laughs heartily]
The furnace! She'll be sizzled like a sausage.
Willy Wonka Well, not necessarily. She could be stuck just inside the tube.
Mr. Salt
[laughs heartily]
Inside the...
Mr. Salt
[he starts suddenly in shock and runs]
Hold on! Veruca! Sweetheart! Daddy's coming!
Willy Wonka [jumps down the chute]
There's gonna be a lot of garbage today.
Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.
What's that?
Veruca went first.
What was that we just went through?
Willy Wonka Hsawaknow.
Is that Japanese?
Willy Wonka No, that's Wonkawash spelled backwards.
Willy Wonka Well, fortunately, small boys are extremely springy and elastic. So I think we'll put him in my special taffy-pulling machine. That should do the trick.
Willy Wonka [to an Oompa-Loompa]
To the taffy-pulling room. You'll find the boy in his mother's purse. But be extremely careful.
To the t-t-t... taffy-pulling room? What's he saying?!
Willy Wonka [Oompa-Loompa whispers to Wonka]
No, no. I won't hold you responsible. [to Mrs. Teevee, who has started babbling incoherently and then fainted] And now, my dearest lady. It's time to say goodbye. No, no, don't speak. For some moments in life there are no words. Run along now.
[The Oompa-Loompas drag her out]
Mr. Wonka, what's gonna happen to the other kids? Augustus, Veruca?
Willy Wonka My dear boy, I promise you they'll be quite all right. When they leave here, they'll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they'll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don't worry about them.
Er...what do we do now, Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka Yes, well...I hope you've enjoyed yourselves, excuse me for not showing you out, you'll find the way, I'm terribly busy. Whole day wasted. Good-bye to you both, Goodbye. [quickly disappears into his office]
What happened? Did we do something wrong?
I don't know, Charlie... but I'm gonna find out.
Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
I just wanted to ask about the chocolate, the lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?
Willy Wonka He doesn't.
Why not?
Willy Wonka Because he broke the rules.
What rules? We didn't see any rules! Did we, Charlie?
Willy Wonka Wrong, sir! WRONG! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void IF - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy! - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera..."Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum,"[the torch of the mind lights the path to glory] et cetera, et cetera..."MEMO BIS PUNITOR DELICATUM"!! [I remember the spoiled punisher twice] It's ALL there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!!
You're a crook. You're a cheat and a swindler! That's what you are! How can you do a thing like this?! Build up a little boy's hopes, and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! (furiously) YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER!!
Willy Wonka I SAID "GOOD DAY!!!"
(he goes on about his work)
Willy Wonka [puts his hand on the Evelasting Gobstopper that Charlie has just given up to him, while writing]
So shines a good deed in a weary world. [looks up] Charlie? My boy. You've WON! You DID it! You DID it!! Oh, I just KNEW you would, I JUST KNEW YOU WOULD!! Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this, please forgive me. Mr. Wilkinson, would you come in here please? [The man originally known as Slugworth walks in.] Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson!
Slugworth (now known as Wilkinson)
Pleasure.
Slugworth...?!
Willy Wonka No! That's not Slugworth. He works for me!
For you?!
Willy Wonka I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test! You WON!
Won what?
Willy Wonka The JACKPOT, my dear sir, the GRAND AND GLORIOUS JACKPOT!
The chocolate?
Willy Wonka The chocolate, the chocolate, yes, but that's just the beginning!! Come, we have so little to do and so much time! Strike that...reverse it.
Grandpa, look over there across the river! They're little men!
Jumping crocodiles, Charlie! Now we know who makes the chocolate.
Mr. Salt
[everyone stares in amazement at the Oompa-Loompas]
I never saw anybody with an orange face before. Funny-looking people, aren't they, Wonka?
What are they doing there?
Wonka Must be creaming and sugaring time.
Well, they can't be real people.
Wonka Well, of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt
Stuff and nonsense!
Wonka No. Oompa Loompas.
Group
[turn around]
Oompa Loompas?!
Wonka From Loompaland.
Loompaland? There's no such place.
Wonka Excuse me, dear lady...
Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Wonka Oh, well, then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles, and Hornswogglers, and Snozzwangers, and rotten, Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt
Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Wonka I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. [continues] And so, in the greatest of secrecy, I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away.
Mr. Salt
All right, Veruca. All right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Can it, you nit!
Wonka Must show you this. Lickable wallpaper for nursery walls. Lick an orange. It tastes like an orange. Lick a pineapple. It tastes like a pineapple. Go ahead. Try it.
Mike [the tourists lick the wallpaper]
Mmm! I got a plum.
Grandpa, this banana's fantastic! It tastes so real!
Wonka Try some more. The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
Snozzberries?! Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
Wonka We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
Here, Wonka is quoting Arthur O'Shaughnessy's "Ode," Music and Moonlight (1874), lines 1–2.
Mr. Wonka?
Wonka I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
I just wanted to ask about the chocolate, the lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?
Wonka He doesn't.
Why not?
Wonka Because he broke the rules.
What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we, Charlie?
Wonka [angrily]
Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera... "Fax mentis, incendium gloria cultum," et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum! It's all there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You stole Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You bumped into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... NOTHING!!! You lose! GOOD DAY, SIR! [returns to work]
[shocked]
You're a crook... [furiously] You're a cheat and a swindler...! That's what you are! How can you do a thing like this?! Build up a little boy's hopes, and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! [lividly] You're an inhuman monster...!
Wonka I said "GOOD DAY"!! [goes on about his work]
Come on, Charlie. Let's get out of here. [sets to leave] I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do. If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one.
Wonka [he places the Everlasting Gobstopper on Wonka's desk and sets off as Wonka stops writing] [puts his hand on the Gobstopper]
"So shines a good deed in a weary world." [looks up] Charlie? My boy. You've won! You did it! You did it! I knew you would! I just knew you would! Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this. Please, forgive me. Come in, Mr. Wilkinson! [The man originally known as Slugworth walks in.] Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson!
Wilkinson
Pleasure!
Slugworth!
Wonka No, no! That's not Slugworth! He works for me!
For you?
Wonka I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test! You won!
Won what?!
Wonka The jackpot, my dear sir! The grand and glorious jackpot!
The chocolate?
Wonka The chocolate, yes! The chocolate, but that's just the beginning! We hafta get on! We hafta get on! We have so much time, and so little to do! Strike that. Reverse it. This way, please!
Wonka How did you like the chocolate factory, Charlie?
I think it's the most wonderful place in the whole world.
Wonka I'm very pleased to hear you say that, because I'm giving it to you. That's all right, isn't it?
You're giving Charlie the...?
Wonka I can't go on forever, and I don't really want to try. So who can I trust to run the factory when I leave and take care of the Oompa Loompas for me? Not a grown up. A grown up would want to do everything his own way, not mine. So that's why I decided a long time ago that I had to find a child. A very honest, loving child, to whom I could tell all my most precious candy making secrets.
And that's why you sent out the golden tickets.
Wonka That's right. So the factory is yours, Charlie. You can move in immediately.
And me?
Wonka Absolutely.
What happens to the rest...?
Wonka The whole family. I want you to bring them all.
Wonka [he and Charlie embrace]
But, Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
What happened?
Wonka He lived happily ever after.
Henry Salt
What is this, Wonka? Some kind of funhouse?
Wonka Why? Having fun?
