Charlie Bucket
[to Grandpa Joe]
You know... I'll bet those golden tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.
3rd most-quoted character in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971): in 11 of its 95 quotes
Most scenes with: Grandpa Joe (7), Willy Wonka (6), Veruca Salt (2)
Scenes with Charlie Bucket
11 scenes
That's right, you don't know because only I know. If you knew and I didn't know then you'd be teaching me instead of me teaching you, and for a student to be teaching his teacher is presumptuous and rude. Do I make my self clear?
Charlie Bucket
Yes, sir!
Charlie Bucket, how many did you open?
Charlie Bucket
Two.
That's easy. Two hundred is twice one hundred--
Charlie Bucket
Not two-hundred, just two.
TWO?! What do you mean you only opened two?!
Charlie Bucket
I don't care very much for chocolate.
WELL I CAN'T FIGURE OUT JUST TWO!! So let's pretend you opened TWO HUNDRED! Now, if you opened two hundred Wonka bars, apart from getting dreadfully sick, you would have used up twenty percent of one thousand, which is fifteen percent half over again, ten percent...
Charlie Bucket
Grandpa, look at Augustus! [pointing to Augustus Gloop leaning over face down, heavily slurping from the chocolate river]
Don't worry, Charlie. He can't drink it all.
Augustus
[slurps, but a few seconds later, he plummets into the chocolate]
Aarghh!
Mrs. Gloop
Save him!
Augustus
Help! Help! Fish me out!
Charlie Bucket
[about Violet]
Grandpa, why doesn't she listen to Mr. Wonka?
Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit!
Mr. Salt
Where's she gone?
Where all the other bad eggs go: down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt
[laughs heartily]
Oh, the garbage chute. Where does it lead to?
To the furnace.
Mr. Salt
[laughs heartily]
The furnace! She'll be sizzled like a sausage.
Well, not necessarily. She could be stuck just inside the tube.
Mr. Salt
[laughs heartily]
Inside the...
Mr. Salt
[he starts suddenly in shock and runs]
Hold on! Veruca! Sweetheart! Daddy's coming!
Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.
Charlie Bucket
What's that?
Veruca went first.
Charlie Bucket
What was that we just went through?
Hsawaknow.
Is that Japanese?
No, that's Wonkawash spelled backwards.
Charlie Bucket
Mr. Wonka, what's gonna happen to the other kids? Augustus, Veruca?
My dear boy, I promise you they'll be quite all right. When they leave here, they'll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they'll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don't worry about them.
Er...what do we do now, Mr. Wonka?
Yes, well...I hope you've enjoyed yourselves, excuse me for not showing you out, you'll find the way, I'm terribly busy. Whole day wasted. Good-bye to you both, Goodbye. [quickly disappears into his office]
Charlie
What happened? Did we do something wrong?
I don't know, Charlie... but I'm gonna find out.
[puts his hand on the Evelasting Gobstopper that Charlie has just given up to him, while writing]
So shines a good deed in a weary world. [looks up] Charlie? My boy. You've WON! You DID it! You DID it!! Oh, I just KNEW you would, I JUST KNEW YOU WOULD!! Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this, please forgive me. Mr. Wilkinson, would you come in here please? [The man originally known as Slugworth walks in.] Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson!
Slugworth (now known as Wilkinson)
Pleasure.
Charlie
Slugworth...?!
No! That's not Slugworth. He works for me!
Charlie
For you?!
I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test! You WON!
Won what?
The JACKPOT, my dear sir, the GRAND AND GLORIOUS JACKPOT!
Charlie
The chocolate?
The chocolate, the chocolate, yes, but that's just the beginning!! Come, we have so little to do and so much time! Strike that...reverse it.
Charlie
Grandpa, look over there across the river! They're little men!
Jumping crocodiles, Charlie! Now we know who makes the chocolate.
Mr. Salt
[everyone stares in amazement at the Oompa-Loompas]
I never saw anybody with an orange face before. Funny-looking people, aren't they, Wonka?
What are they doing there?
Must be creaming and sugaring time.
Well, they can't be real people.
Well, of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt
Stuff and nonsense!
No. Oompa Loompas.
Group
[turn around]
Oompa Loompas?!
From Loompaland.
Loompaland? There's no such place.
Excuse me, dear lady...
Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Oh, well, then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles, and Hornswogglers, and Snozzwangers, and rotten, Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt
Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. [continues] And so, in the greatest of secrecy, I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away.
Mr. Salt
All right, Veruca. All right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Can it, you nit!
Must show you this. Lickable wallpaper for nursery walls. Lick an orange. It tastes like an orange. Lick a pineapple. It tastes like a pineapple. Go ahead. Try it.
Mike
[the tourists lick the wallpaper]
Mmm! I got a plum.
Charlie
Grandpa, this banana's fantastic! It tastes so real!
Try some more. The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
Snozzberries?! Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
Here, Wonka is quoting Arthur O'Shaughnessy's "Ode," Music and Moonlight (1874), lines 1–2.
Mr. Wonka?
I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
I just wanted to ask about the chocolate, the lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?
He doesn't.
Why not?
Because he broke the rules.
What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we, Charlie?
[angrily]
Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera... "Fax mentis, incendium gloria cultum," et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum! It's all there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You stole Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You bumped into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... NOTHING!!! You lose! GOOD DAY, SIR! [returns to work]
[shocked]
You're a crook... [furiously] You're a cheat and a swindler...! That's what you are! How can you do a thing like this?! Build up a little boy's hopes, and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! [lividly] You're an inhuman monster...!
I said "GOOD DAY"!! [goes on about his work]
Come on, Charlie. Let's get out of here. [sets to leave] I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do. If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one.
Charlie
[he and Charlie are about to leave, when Charlie slowly walks up to Wonka]
Mr. Wonka?
[he places the Everlasting Gobstopper on Wonka's desk and sets off as Wonka stops writing] [puts his hand on the Gobstopper]
"So shines a good deed in a weary world." [looks up] Charlie? My boy. You've won! You did it! You did it! I knew you would! I just knew you would! Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this. Please, forgive me. Come in, Mr. Wilkinson! [The man originally known as Slugworth walks in.] Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson!
Wilkinson
Pleasure!
Charlie
Slugworth!
No, no! That's not Slugworth! He works for me!
Charlie
For you?
I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test! You won!
Won what?!
The jackpot, my dear sir! The grand and glorious jackpot!
Charlie
The chocolate?
The chocolate, yes! The chocolate, but that's just the beginning! We hafta get on! We hafta get on! We have so much time, and so little to do! Strike that. Reverse it. This way, please!
How did you like the chocolate factory, Charlie?
Charlie
I think it's the most wonderful place in the whole world.
I'm very pleased to hear you say that, because I'm giving it to you. That's all right, isn't it?
You're giving Charlie the...?
I can't go on forever, and I don't really want to try. So who can I trust to run the factory when I leave and take care of the Oompa Loompas for me? Not a grown up. A grown up would want to do everything his own way, not mine. So that's why I decided a long time ago that I had to find a child. A very honest, loving child, to whom I could tell all my most precious candy making secrets.
Charlie
And that's why you sent out the golden tickets.
That's right. So the factory is yours, Charlie. You can move in immediately.
And me?
Absolutely.
Charlie
What happens to the rest...?
The whole family. I want you to bring them all.
[he and Charlie embrace]
But, Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
Charlie
What happened?
He lived happily ever after.
