Buddy Hackett movie quotes

View Quote [Scuttle shows Ariel and Flounder a tobacco pipe]
Scuttle: This, I haven't seen this in years. This is wonderful! A banded, bulbous snarfblatt.
Ariel and Flounder: Oh!
Scuttle: Now, the snarfblatt dates back to prehistorical times when humans used to sit around and stare at each other all day. Got very boring. So they invented this snarfblatt to make fine music. Allow me. [blows into it, only to have seaweed and water come out]
Ariel: Music!
Scuttle: [coughs] It's stuck!
Ariel: Oh, the concert! Oh, my gosh! My father's gonna kill me!
Flounder: The concert was today?!
Scuttle: [inspects the "snarfblatt" further] Maybe you can make a little planter out of it or somethin'.
Ariel: [takes it back] I'm sorry! I've gotta go! Thank you, Scuttle!
[she and Flounder swim back home]
Scuttle: Anytime, sweetie! Anytime.

View Quote Scuttle: Ariel, I was flying. I was-- Of course I was flying. And I saw the watch-- the witch was watchin' the mirror, and she was singin' with a stolen set of pipes! Do you hear what I'm tellin' you?! The prince is marrying the seawitch in disguise!
Sebastian: Are you sure about this?
Scuttle: Have I ever been wrong? I mean, when it's important?!

View Quote [The scene cuts to the surface.]
[On a tiny island, a storyteller seagull named Scuttle hums a song and looks through his telescope.]
Scuttle: [singing] 1492, dah-de-dum dee-do-do, rum-dim-dim, dee-do-dee-do
[Scuttle sticks his telescope on his head]
Ariel: Scuttle!
Scuttle: [looking through the telescope the wrong way, making Ariel appear farther away, shouting] Whoa! Mermaid off the port bow! Ariel, how you doin' kid?
[Scuttle lowers the telescope to reveal Ariel at wing's length]
Scuttle: Whoa, what a swim!
Ariel: Scuttle - look what we found.
[Ariel pulls up her bag and hands it to Scuttle.]
Flounder: Yeah - we were in this sunken ship - it was really creepy.
Scuttle: Human stuff, huh? Hey, lemme see.
[Scuttle drops an anchor. It catches on his foot and knocks him off his perch. Rummaging through Ariel's bag after stepping over Flounder, he takes out the fork.]
Scuttle: Oh! Oh! Look at this. Wow - this is special - this is very, very unusual.
Ariel: What? What is it?
Scuttle: It's a dinglehopper! Humans use these little babies... '[Scuttle flicks the fork, but catches it] to straighten their hair out.
[Scuttle twirls the fork around his feathers on top of his head.]
Scuttle: See - just a little twirl here an' a yank there and - violee!
[Scuttles feathers go up in a poof.]
Scuttle: You got an aesthetically pleasing configuration of hair that humans go nuts over.
[Scuttle hands the fork back to Ariel.]
Ariel: A dinglehopper!
Flounder: [in reference to the pipe] What about that one?
[Scuttle shows Ariel and Flounder a tobacco pipe]
Scuttle: This, I haven't seen this in years. This is wonderful! A banded, bulbous snarfblatt.
Ariel and Flounder: Oh!
Scuttle: Now, the snarfblatt dates back to pre-hysterical times when humans used to sit around and stare at each other all day. [comes face to face with Ariel] Got very boring. So they invented this snarfblatt to make fine music. Please allow me. [blows into it, only to have seaweed and water come out] Oops.
Ariel: [realizing what Scuttle said] Music?!
Scuttle: [coughs] It's stuffed!
Ariel: Oh, the concert! Oh, my gosh, my Father's gonna kill me!
Flounder: The concert was today?
Scuttle: [inspects the "snarfblatt" further] Maybe you could make a little planter out of it or somethin'.
Ariel: [takes it back] Uh, I'm sorry! I've gotta go! Thank you, Scuttle!
[she and Flounder swim back home]
Scuttle: Anytime, sweetie! Anytime.
Ursula: [watching Ariel from her lair via Flotsam and Jetsam] Yes. Hurry home, Princess. We wouldn't want to miss old Daddy's celebration, huh? Would we? [scoffs] Celebration, indeed. Oh, bah! In my day, we had fantastical feasts, when I lived in the palace. [closeup of her eating a shrimp] Now, look at me. Wasted away to practically nothing. Banished and exiled and practically starving! While he and his flimsy fish folk celebrate. Well, I'll give 'em something to celebrate soon enough. [to her eels] Flotsam! Jetsam! I want you to keep an extra close watch on this pretty little daughter of his. She may be the key to Triton's undoing. [fade to black]

View Quote [to Herbie, sotto voce] I'm your friend.

View Quote Up the Irish!

View Quote [seeing a sabotaged spare wheel] Thorndyke again. He made a pizza outta it!

View Quote Fitzgerald: [waking up] Uh...Just a minute. I...I cahhn't see.
Dingy Bell: What?
Fitzgerald: Something's happened to my eyes. I-I-I cahhn't - I cahhn't see!
Dingy Bell: You cahhn't see?! [to Benjy] He cahhn't see!
Benjamin: Must be an eye cold.
Fitzgerald: George! George!

View Quote Smiler Grogan: [while dying] Look, there's this dough see. There's all this dough. Three hundred and fifty g's! Do you hear what I'm saying? Three hundred and fifty g's! In the park. Rosita. Rosita Beach State Park. Just south of Daygo in Santa Rosita. It's in this box, buried under this... [continuing after coughing in his injured state] ...buried under this big W. You'll see it! You'll see it under this big W. You can't miss it! A big, big, W! And it's been there. And it's been laying there for fifteen years! Watch out. Watch out for the bulls. Lousy, stinking bulls are everywhere. Bulls all over the place. You just drive down and dig it up. Dig it all up. And then - and then you fix yourselves all up. Fix yourselves all up. Walk down the street like a king, back to the old neighborhood. See the fellas, the dames - the dames, all with a big hello - a big hello for old Smiler. Good old Smiler, everybody's friend. [lies his head down, almost dead. Benjy takes his hat off, until he jolts awake and grabs Melville's jacket] Aunt Belle, I didn't mean to do it!
Lennie Pike: Holy mackerel, take it easy, mister!
Russell: Easy!
Smiler Grogan: [last words] Please! Please say it don't make any difference, Aunt Belle! Please! You gotta say! You gotta tell me it don't make any difference!
Dingy Bell: For heaven's sake, tell him.
Melville Crump: It - It don't make any difference.
[Smiler Grogan groans, finally passes away, and kicks the bucket - literally, stunning the men]
Lennie Pike: That guy is dead. You better believe it.
Benjamin: Oh, I believe it all right, but if he jumps up again like he did before, I'm gonna get the hell out of here.

View Quote Benjamin: Look! We've figured it seventeen different ways, and every time we figured it, it was no good, because no matter how we figured it, somebody don't like the way we figured it! So now, there's only one way to figure it. And that is, every man, including the old bag, for himself!
Dingy Bell: And may the best man win!
Benjamin: Right! [points to Mrs. Marcus] Except you, lady! You can just DROP DEAD!!!
Pike: All right, now we all agree on that. Now look, let's be sensible about this thing. There's money in this for all of us. Right? There's enough for you, there's enough for you, and for me, and for you, and there's enough for...
[They all race to their cars]