Chief
Where'd you get that dog? He looks like me with a pink nose. I come from a nine-dog litter, but they drowned the sisters. We're not a rare breed: short-haired-Oceanic-speckled-ear/sport-hound-mix. [stammers] I'm getting confused now. My--my belly feels funny.
Chief
I bite.
Chief
Okay, it's worth it.
Li Shan
You must rediscover what it is to be a panda. You have to learn how to live like a panda. Sleep like a panda. Eat like a panda. Those 103 dumplings? I was just warming up.
Li Shan
I’m Li Shan. I’m looking for my son.
Li Shan
Pandas don't walk. We roll! [He starts rolling]
Shannon
A lot of guys mess around with married women, but you're the only one I know who robs a joint just to pay back the husband. Crazy.
Shannon
What happened to all the ashtrays in this town?
Shannon
Kid, I want you to meet Mr. Bernie Rose!
Bernie Rose
Nice to meet you. [Sticks out his hand to shake; Driver does not take it]
Driver
My hands are a little dirty.
Bernie Rose
So are mine.
Jack O'Donnell
If we wanted applause, we would have joined the circus.
You're telling me there's a movie office in Hollywood right now that's funded by the CIA.
Tony Mendez
Yes, sir.
What's wrong with the bikes again?
Jack O'Donnell
We tried to get the message upstairs.
You think... You think this is more plausible than teachers?
O'Donnell
Yes we do. One, there are no more foreign teachers in Iran.
Mendez
And, we think everybody knows Hollywood people. And everybody knows they would shoot in Stalingrad with Pol Pot directing if it'd sell tickets. There are only bad options. It's about finding the best one.
You don't have a better bad idea than this?
O'Donnell
This is the best bad idea we have, sir. By far.
The United States government just sanctioned your science fiction movie.
What we like for this now are bicycles. We've identified back roads from the Shemiran district — a couple of rat lines through the mountains to the crossing at Tabriz. Cars are off the table because of the roadblocks.
We wait until the weather clears up then deliver the six bikes, provide them with maps to the Turkish border.
We have intelligence they can ride bicycles or we’re prepared to send in somebody to teach them.
Tony Mendez
Or you could just send in training wheels and meet them at the border with Gatorade. It's 300 miles to the Turkish crossings. They'd need a support crew behind them with a tire pump.
We've only been asked to sharpshoot this, State's handling the op.
Who is...?
Jack O'Donnell
Tony's an exfil spesh. He got a lot of the Shah's people out after the fall.
Mendez
Sir, if these people can read or add, pretty soon they're gonna figure out they're six short of a full deck. It's winter. You can't wait around until spring when it's nice enough to take a bike ride. The only way out of that city is the airport. You build new cover identities for them, you send in a Moses, he takes them out on a commercial flight.
We've explored those options.
They're never going to get past airport control. Komiteh own the place.
They could pose as reporters. The government issued seventy-something visas for American journalists.
Seventy-four. And the Revolutionary Guards keep them on 74 leashes.
Mendez
If they're caught with fake journalist creds, it's Peter Jennings' head in a noose in an hour. [...] Sir, exfils are like abortions. You don't want to need one, but when you do, you don't do it yourself.
Joe Brody
Hey! How's Elle doing? And Sam? Oh, my god! He must be, what, three? Three and a half?
Ford Brody
He's almost five.
Joe Brody
I'll meet them down there myself. Put the safety doors on manual override.
Joe, I cannot do that!
Joe Brody
Keep the doors open! My wife is still in there!
Ford Brody
Sergeant. Lieutenant Brody, U.S. Navy. I need your help. I'm trying to get to the mainland.
It's your lucky day, sir. Everything not tied down is moving east.
Is that where they're heading?
Yeah… I guess we're monster hunters now.
Vitaly
That's Bolshevik!
Alex, you're from a zoo?
Alex
Yes, yes. But wait, there's more.
More?
Alex
Or less. There's less.
Vitaly
You were never circus?
Gloria
We had to say we were circus!
Melman
Or you never would've let us on the train!
After all we've been through together, you want to go live in a zoo?
Alex
Gia, I...
Vitaly
You used us!
Alex
No, no, no! I mean... I mean yes, but... but...
And Trapeze Americano, you made that up too?
Alex
It didn't exactly exist when I taught it to you.
Jet packs and aquatic cobras! I should've known!
Stefano
"Balloons to the children of the world" was not real either?
Alex
Yeah, that's not real. But look at what we did!
Stefano
I WAS SHOT OUT OF A CANNON! I COULD'VE DIED!
Marty
But I thought you said it was your lifelong dream!
Stefano
For all I know… your name is not even Alice.
Alex
No, Stefano, but it never really was.
Stefano
I don't feel safe! [Stefano sobs in Gia's arms as Vitaly looks at Alex and his friends, feeling betrayed and hurt]
Alex
Gia, I...
We trusted you. [turns and leaves in depression along with the others]
Stefano
MY TEARS ARE REAL! YOU ARE NOT!
Skipper
I can't believe you lied to all of us circus folk! [blows his beak]
Julien
Sonya, baby! I don't wanna be king anymore. What really matters is what we smell like together! Baby, forgive me?
Julien
Whoa, hello?
Gasp! It's DuBois!
Skipper
Baba-booey! [turns to Julien] Where'd you get this?
Julien
I got it from the zoo!
Skipper
The hippies got ambushed!
What? We have to help them!
But they lied to us.
Yeah, why should we lend a paw?
They are our friends!
They're not even circus.
Vitaly
That's Bolshevik!
Skipper
I'd never thought I'd say this on American soil, but... the Russki's right!
