Hey! Where did you get those clothes? At the...toilet...store?

Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!

I stabbed a man in the heart!

I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.

[When Ron asks, "Where did you get that hand grenade from, Brick?"] ...I don't know.

I'm Brian Fantana

I know what you're thinking. And the answer is yes, I do have a nickname for my penis. It's called The Octagon. But I've also nicknamed my testes. The left one is James Westfall, and the right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you might just get to meet the whole gang.

[unveiling the Sex Panther] No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good. [...] They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

"[when Veronica gags at his perfume and asks what the smell is]" That's the smell of desire, m'lady. "[once she describes it]" Well... desire smells like that to some people!

[describing Veronica] Oooh, she has got a big ole' behind! I mean, I'd like to slap some barbecue sauce on that big ol' butt and just uh burr burr burr burr burrrr. OOwwwwooooo!!!!

Whammy! [repeated line]

I will smash Royce Bruno in the face

[Ron Burgundy asked Champ if he got lucky last night?] Oh no, last night... oh, I stayed home for awhile, drank about six bottles of white wine, pissed my pants, so I drove down to Mexico, and shot some stray dogs. You know, pretty much standard Tuesday night.

"I woke up in this Japanese family's rec-room and they would NOT stop screaming."

[on the phone] I have no idea where he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. But you and I are mature adults; we've both seen our share of pornographic materials. Oh, you never have? Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities. Right. I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye.