Multiple Characters quotes

Angry Biker: Hey Broseph! Did you just throw a burrito out the window? Angry Biker: Now this is happenin'! [kicks Baxter over a bridge] Frank Vitchard: Oh, yeah? Well, you're about to be in . . . dead place! Frank Vitchard: I am going to straight-up murder your ass! Frank Vitchard: [after getting his arm chopped by a blade, out of nowhere] Ugh! I did not see that coming! Frank Vitchard: [after getting his other arm ripped off by a bear] Oh, COME ON! It's getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous! Arturo Mendes: ¿Comó están, Beetches! Spanish language news is here! Today's top story: The sewers run red with Burgundy's blood! Arturo Mendes: ¡Policia! News Announcer: Here's tonight's Channel 4 News, with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor, Ron Burgundy, and Tits McGee. Public TV News Anchor: Not so fast, you ingrates. Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials, no mercy! Tino: They have a saying in my country for people like him [to Veronica Corningstone about Ron Burgundy] The coyote of the desert always likes to eat the heart of the young. Where the blood drips down to the children for breakfast, lunch and dinner... only the ribs will be broken into two... ôôôôä

Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Burgundy, I am a professional and I would like to do my job.
Ron Burgundy: Big deal! I am very professional!
Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby.
Ron Burgundy: I'm not a baby, I'm a MAN, I am an ANCHORMAN!
Veronica Corningstone: You are not a man. You are a big fat joke!
Ron Burgundy: I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.

Brian Fantana: Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engines, but they don't belong in the newsroom!
Champ Kind: It is anchorMAN, not anchorLADY! And that is a scientific fact!
Brick Tamland: I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!
Brian Fantana: You're with us, Ron, what do you think?
Ron Burgundy: Shit! Sh... it's terrible! She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon!
Brian Fantana: Mhm!
Brick Tamland: LOUD NOISES!!

Ron Burgundy: Where did you get a hand grenade, Brick?
Brick Tamland: I don't know.

Champ Kind: What's this?
Wes Mantooth: Well, well, well, Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team.
Ron Burgundy: Hello, Wes Mantooth, Hello, Evening News team.
Wes Mantooth: Nice clothes, gentlemen! I didn't know that the Salvation Army was having a sale. Am I right? Am I right? Look at these guys!
Brick Tamland: Hey, where did you get those clothes, the...toilet...store?
Wes Mantooth: What are you doing on our station's turf, Burgundy? You're about to get a serious beat down.
Champ Kind: I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!
Wes Mantooth: Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!
Ron Burgundy: Hey, leave the mothers out of this. It's unnecessary. Besides, I'm sure Wes here is just upset about finishing second in the ratings again.
Wes Mantooth: That's completely uncalled for, Burgundy. You know those rating systems are flawed. They don't take in account houses that have... uh... more than two television sets... and...other things of that nature.
Ron Burgundy: I guess I have to take you at your word, No. 2. You have a great day, fellas, we'll see you around the bend.

Ron Burgundy: You dirtbags have been in third place for five years.
Frank Vitchard: Oh, yeah? Well, you're about to be in... dead place!

Ron Burgundy: (on the fight between local anchormen) Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should probably find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

Champ Kind: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News Team.
Ron Burgundy: That's a given.
Champ Kind: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.
Brian Fantana: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while?

Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker!
Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry!
Ron Burgundy: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!
Veronica Corningstone: Well you... have bad hair!
Ron Burgandy: [shellshocked] What did you say?
Veronica Corningstone: I said... your hair looks stupid.

Angry Biker: What do you love?
Ron Burgundy: I love poetry, and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here.
Angry Biker: Well, now, guess what, this is happening.
[grabs Baxter]
Ron Burgundy: Excuse me... excuse me... what are you doing?
[biker punts Baxter over bridge]
Angry Biker: That's how I roll!

Brian Fantana: Sex Panther by Odeon. This stuff is illegal in 9 countries. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent. It's a formidable scent, it stings the nostrils...in a good way.
Brian Fantana: [daubing the cologne on his neck] Yup.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. They say 60% of the time, it works every time.
Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make any sense.

Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell?
Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady.
Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with Indian food! Oh, excuse me.
Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people
Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
News Station Employee: It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
(cut to Brian being jet-hosed) Hoser: This is worse than when that raccoon got in the photocopier!

Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it!

Ron Burgundy: I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal.
Veronica Corningstone: Really.
Ron Burgundy: People know me.
Veronica Corningstone: Well, I'm very happy for you.
Ron Burgundy: I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books...and my apartment smells of...rich mahogany.

Ron Burgundy: Look, the most glorious rainbow ever!
Veronica Corningstone: Oh, do me on it!

Ron Burgundy: Let's go to Brian Fantana who's live on the scene with a Channel 4 News exclusive. Brian?
Brian Fantana: Panda Watch! The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I, uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off.[to the Panda] Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out here, Panda Jerk!

Ron Burgundy: (lifting weights) 1001, 1002, 1003.
Veronica Corningstone: Uh, Mr. Burgundy? Helen said that you needed to see me.
Ron Burgundy: Oh, Miss Corningstone. I wasn't expecting company. Just doing my workout. Tuesday's arms and back.
Veronica Corningstone: Well, you asked me to come by, sir.
Ron Burgundy: Oh, did I?
Veronica Corningstone: Yes.
Ron Burgundy: Ohh, it's a deep burn! Oh, it's so deep! Oh, I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting, I did over a thousand.

Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means "a whale's vagina".
Veronica Corningstone: ...No, there's no way that's correct.
Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean "Saint Diego"?
Ron Burgundy: No. No.
Veronica Corningstone: No, that's - that's what it means. Really.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.

Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?
Brian: Brian Fantana.
Champ: Champ Kind.
Brick: Brian Fantana.
Brian: No, you're Brick.
Brick: Brian.
Brian: I'm Brian.
Brick: Veronica.


Ron Burgundy: Wait, Veronica, please tell me this is some kind of sick tasteless joke.
Veronica Corningstone: You weren't here! Why are you being this way? Why can't you just be proud of me as a peer and my gentleman lover?
Ron Burgundy: I can't believe you did this to me! You read my news!
Veronica Corningstone: I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that.
Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke, I even wrote it down in my diary. “Veronica had a very funny joke today.” I laughed at it later that night!
Veronica Corningstone: I can't believe that I cared for you!
Ron Burgundy: Get out! Just go! We are through! Through! Because of your actions, you scorpion woman!
Veronica Corningstone: You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy. You have broken my heart.

Ron Burgundy: VERONICA CORNINGSTONE AND I HAD SEX AND NOW WE ARE IN LOVE!! ...Did I say that loud?
Brian Fantana: Yeah, you pretty much yelled it.

Ron Burgundy: [while both are riding on horses through a cartoon Pleasure Town] I friggin' love you!
Veronica Corningstone: I friggin' love you back!

Veronica Corningstone: [Picks up phone] Veronica Corningstone.
Ron Burgundy: Hello. This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy results here, and guess what? You, you got knocked up, so you should probably get out of news.
Veronica Corningstone: Who is this!?
Ron Burgundy: This is Doctor Chim... Dr. Chim Richalds... Richalds.
Veronica Corningstone: Is this you Ron!?
Ron Burgundy: I'm a professional doctor, you saw me.. you don't remember. You were drunk. You should.. you should go, you should get out of news.
Veronica Corningstone: This is pathetic.
Ron Burgundy: You're pathetic. [hangs up]
Champ Kind: How'd it go?
Ron Burgundy: I think she bought it.


Ron Burgundy: Thanks for watching Channel 4 News. You stay classy, San Diego. [observing a question mark on the TelePrompter, which was added by one of the editors as a gag] I'm Ron Burgundy?
Ed Harken: Dammit, who typed a question mark on the TelePrompter? How many times do I have to tell you? Anything you type, Burgundy will read!


Garth Holliday: [sobbing incoherently] Coming out with stink like that...poop...you poop-mouth, there's poop coming out of your mouth...
Ron Burgundy: Garth, if I were to give you some money from out of my wallet.... would that help ease the pain? [glances at Ed for approval]
Garth Holliday: [crying] I hate you Ron Burgundy, I hate you!

Brick Tamland: I love... carpet. [pause] I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp! I love lamp.

[subtitled conversation between Ron's dog Baxter and an attacking bear] Baxter: Leave these people alone. They mean you no harm.
Bear: We Bears are a proud race. They must pay for their intrusion.
Baxter: On my journey I met one of your kind. His name was Katow-jo. We became friends.
Bear: Katow-jo is my cousin. Go in peace.
Baxter: I will tell tales of your compassion.
Bear: Fare thee well, Baxter. You shall always be friend of the bears.

From the outtakes: Ron Burgundy: Um, Brick, before I let you go, are you still having your celebrity golf tournament?
Brick Tamland: Um, no, no... too many people died last year, so we're not gonna do it.

Brick Tamland: *cough!* *look over here!* Excuse me, Veronica
Veronica Corningstone: Yes what is it Brick?
Brick Tamland: I would like to extend to you, an invitation to the Pants Party.
Veronica Corningstone: Excuse me?
Brick Tamland: ...The party ...the pants ...party with the pants?
Veronica Corningstone: Brick are you saying that there is a party in your pants and that i'm invited.
Brick Tamland: That's it.
Veronica Corningstone: Did Brian tell you to say this Brick?
Brick Tamland: No...YES
Veronica Corningstone: Okay. No I don't want to go to a party in your pants...
Brick Tamland: Very well. IAN! Would you like to go to a party in my pants?

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