Champ Kind quotes

[describing Veronica] Oooh, she has got a big ole' behind! I mean, I'd like to slap some barbecue sauce on that big ol' butt and just uh burr burr burr burr burrrr. OOwwwwooooo!!!!

Whammy! [repeated line]

I will smash Royce Bruno in the face

[Ron Burgundy asked Champ if he got lucky last night?] Oh no, last night... oh, I stayed home for awhile, drank about six bottles of white wine, pissed my pants, so I drove down to Mexico, and shot some stray dogs. You know, pretty much standard Tuesday night.

"[describing the morning after big party]"i woke up this s'morning and i shit a squirrel, literally... the hell of it is, the damn things still alive, now i got this, shit covered squirrel down there in the office, don't know what to name it..."

I'm all about having a good time. You know, get a couple ****tails in me, start a fire in someone's kitchen or go to Sea World, take my pants off.

I will smash your face into a car windshield then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.

"I woke up in this Japanese family's rec-room and they would NOT stop screaming."

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