2nd most-quoted character in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004): in 35 of its 151 quotes
Most scenes with: Ron Burgundy (12), Champ Kind (9), Brian Fantana (8)
I read somewhere that their periods attract bears. The bears can smell the menstruation.
Brick Tamland I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and I am what some people call mentally ****.
Brick Tamland Hey, Ron! I'm riding a furry tractor!
Brick Tamland I ate a big red candle.
Brick Tamland .......You're not Ron.
Brick Tamland Mmm, I just burnt my tongue.
Brick Tamland I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!
Brick Tamland LOUD NOISES!!!
Brick Tamland I love... lamp. I love lamp.
Brick Tamland Oh, sorry, Champ... I think I ate your Chocolate Squirrel
Brick Tamland Hey! Where did you get those clothes? At the...toilet...store?
Brick Tamland Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!
Brick Tamland I stabbed a man in the heart!
Brick Tamland I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
Brick Tamland ...I don't know.
Brick Tamland I'm Brian Fantana
Brick Tamland I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava.
Brick Tamland I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said. My stomach's itchy.
Brick Tamland I pooped a hammer.
Brick Tamland I pooped a tape recorder.
Brick Tamland I pooped a Cornish game hen. Uh . . . [laughs] Nope.
Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engines, but they don't belong in the newsroom!
It is anchorMAN, not anchorLADY! And that is a scientific fact!
Brick Tamland I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!
You're with us, Ron, what do you think?
Shit! Sh... it's terrible! She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon!
Mhm!
Brick Tamland LOUD NOISES!!
Where did you get a hand grenade, Brick?
Brick Tamland I don't know.
What's this?
Well, well, well, Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team.
Hello, Wes Mantooth, Hello, Evening News team.
Nice clothes, gentlemen! I didn't know that the Salvation Army was having a sale. Am I right? Am I right? Look at these guys!
Brick Tamland Hey, where did you get those clothes, the...toilet...store?
What are you doing on our station's turf, Burgundy? You're about to get a serious beat down.
I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!
Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!
Hey, leave the mothers out of this. It's unnecessary. Besides, I'm sure Wes here is just upset about finishing second in the ratings again.
That's completely uncalled for, Burgundy. You know those rating systems are flawed. They don't take in account houses that have... uh... more than two television sets... and...other things of that nature.
I guess I have to take you at your word, No. 2. You have a great day, fellas, we'll see you around the bend.
Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
It jumped up a notch.
It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should probably find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?
Brian Fantana.
Champ Kind.
Brick Brian Fantana.
No, you're Brick.
Brick Brian.
I'm Brian.
Brick Veronica.
Brick Tamland I love... carpet. [pause] I love... desk.
Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland I love lamp.
Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland I love lamp! I love lamp.
From the outtakes:
Um, Brick, before I let you go, are you still having your celebrity golf tournament?
Brick Tamland Um, no, no... too many people died last year, so we're not gonna do it.
Brick Tamland *cough!* *look over here!* Excuse me, Veronica
Yes what is it Brick?
Brick Tamland I would like to extend to you, an invitation to the Pants Party.
Excuse me?
Brick Tamland ...The party ...the pants ...party with the pants?
Brick are you saying that there is a party in your pants and that i'm invited.
Brick Tamland That's it.
Did Brian tell you to say this Brick?
Brick Tamland No...YES
Okay. No I don't want to go to a party in your pants...
Brick Tamland Very well. IAN! Would you like to go to a party in my pants?
Listen up. The ratings just came in for last month. We are number one. We just grabbed every key demographic.
Super duper, gang! Super duper! That's nice! Way to go! Neat-o, gang.
Brick Yes!
Boy, Ed, that is good news. I gotta be honest.
That is good news!
All right!
Garth Uh, they don't ever really listen to me, Ed.
Just get it done.
Garth Okay.
Brick Mm. I just burned my tongue.
The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show.
Veronica Corningstone and I had sex, and we are now in love! Did I say that loud?
Yeah, you pretty much yelled it.
Well, I don't care. It's fantastic!
What's it like, Ron?
The intimate times? Outta sight, my man!
No, the other thing. Love.
Brick Yeah. What is that?
You really want to know what love is?
Yes! Tell us!
Brick More than anything in the world, Ron!
Well, it's really quite simple. It's kinda like...
"Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight. My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right', why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?"
"When everything's a little clearer in the light of day. And, we know the night is always gonna be here anyway!"
Brick and Brian "Thinking of you's workin' up my appetite, looking forward to a little afternoon delight. Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite, and the thought of loving you is getting so exciting, sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight."
"Afternoon delight!"
Sounds like you have mental problems, man.
Brick Yeah, you got mental problems, man.
Yeah, it really does.
Brick Man.
"Afternoon delight!"
Last time I checked, my name was Ron Burgundy! What's yours?
Brian Fantana!
Champ Kind!
Brick Tamland Brian Fantana...
No, you're Brick...
Yes! Ron!
Stop it! Ron!
Champ Kind went on to become a commentator for the NFL but was later fired after being accused of sexual harassment by Terry Bradshaw.
Excuse me. Is that Sex Panther you're wearing?
Brian Fantana went on to have great success as the host of the hit reality TV show Intercourse Island on the Fox Network.
Anyone seen Brick? Brick?
Brick Don't! That tickles! No, that tickles me!
Brick Come on!
Brick Tamland is married with 11 children and is one of the top political advisors to the Bush White House.
Brick I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you!
Hey! Is she going to live with us? Because I am not cool with that.
