Ron Burgundy quotes

What do you think this is? Amateur hour?!

[while warming up before the news] Unique New York. Unique New York.

[while warming up before the news] The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.

[while warming up before the news] The arsonist has oddly shaped feet.

[while warming up before the news] How now, brown cow? How now, brown cow?

[while examining his make-up job] AUDREY! Get in here, I look like hell! I've got bags under my eyes! [To Audrey off camera] What's that? Well, if you were a man, I'd punch you. I'd punch you right in the mouth. This is bush. Bush league!

[while warming up before the news] Thirty seconds? We're on in 30 seconds? We're on air now? I don't believe you.

Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed a urgent and horrifying news story, and I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!

Sweet Lincoln's mullet.

I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right in the babymaker.

[looking at his reflection in the mirror] Mmmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey, everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.

[trying to woo Veronica the first time] Hello. I couldn't help but notice you from across the party, and... I don't normally do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have... the most breathtaking... hiney. I mean that thing is good. I wanna be friends with it. [...] Do you know who I am? [...] I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. [...] People know me. [...] I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

[yelling at Veronica] What? You read my news? [...] I thought it was a joke. I thought is was funny. I even wrote it down in my diary that night. "Veronica had a very funny joke today." [...] We are through! Through! Because of your actions, you-you scorpion woman!

I'm Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, San Diego. [repeated line]

I'm Ron Burgundy. Go **** yourselves, San Diego.

[talking to Baxter, his dog] Come again? You know I don't speak Spanish. In English, please. What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? I'm not even mad, that's amazing.

[to Baxter] You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show [kisses his biceps] and see if she likes the goods.

It truly is beauty and the beast... and a rather handsome beast I might add.

If you want to throw down in fisticuffs, fine, I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waitin' for ya...right here!

I'm in a glass case of emotion!

When in Rome......

I'm proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself thrust into the middle of vicious ****fight.

[talking to Veronica in his room] I'm storming your castle on my steed, m'lady [...] Wait, wait, stop that. I can't understand what you're saying. [...] Oh, we're going!

I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.

Ooh, a formidable scent. It's quite pungent. It...it stings the nostrils. [...] Brian, to be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.

It's so damn hot! Milk was a bad choice...

Knights of Columbus, that hurt!

By the beard of Zeus!

By the Fishing Skills of Paul Ferguson!

Great Odin's raven!

Son of a bee sting!

Is that you, Baxter? Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee. Is this Wilt Chamberlain?

[after jumping into the kodiak bear pit at the San Diego Zoo] I immediately regret this decision.

[after the rest of the team state their opposition to his dating Veronica Corningstone] I know that one day we will be married on top of a mountain, and there will to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh......... herbs. And we will dance... until the sun rises! And then our children will form a family band, and we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited!

[singing] Oh, Baxter, you are my little gentleman. I'll take you to foggy London town, because you are my little gentleman. [stops singing] Mmm, this burrito is delicious, but it is filling. [throws burrito out the window, where it hits a man on a motorcycle]

[singing in the bar] Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Phhtt. I make fart noises with my mouth. Phhtt. Phhtt.

Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it, fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called, uh, jogging. I believe it's 'jogging' or 'yogging.' it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time! It's supposed to be wild.

I'm going to shoot you with a BB gun. In the, back of the head.

You woke the bears! Why did you do that?

[shouting] NEWS TEAM! ASSEMBLE!

[to Veronica] You're a dirty pirate hooker. [...] Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?

I am a man! I am an ANCHORman! [...] I'm a man who invented the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.

You bitch!!

You've got a dirty, whorish mouth, that's what you have.

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