2nd most-quoted character in Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008): in 9 of its 26 quotes
Most scenes with: Zack Brown (9)
What happened to the water?
I guess they musta shut it off...
Help me get this shit outta my hair! Just use the water outta the toilet!
There's poo in there...
The back part of the toilet!
How come you get to be all Buck Rogers, having sex in the 25th century with Twiki and Dr. Theopolis, and I'm stuck to a bottle of Jergen's in the bathroom?
Holy Bejeesus, tell me you don't use my Jergen's to jack it in our bathroom.
No, you know what I do? I light a bunch of candles, and I sprawl out on my sheets, and I listen to Sting. No, I'm a guy. You give me two Popsicle sticks and a rubber band and I'll find a way to **** it, like a filthy MacGyver!
Too soon?
Delaney, my friend, you are On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over.
Man, I can't be in no porno. My wife will kill me.
Hump me, On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over. You're my only hump.
On the other hand, **** my wife.
Oh, you'll be sorry when I'm giving you the best orgasms of your life.
Yeah right. As if you even know what you're doing down there.
Where's the clitoris again? Is it in your ass?
I'm gonna **** you with my pecker!
Dude... that's really dirty.
That's too dirty?
That offends me.
Penis?
Fine.
I'm gonna **** you with my penis!
Nobody wants to see us ****, Zack!
EVERYBODY wants to see ANYBODY ****. I hate Rosie O'Donnell, but if somebody said "I got a tape of Rosie O'Donnell getting **** stupid", I'd be like "Why the **** aren't we watching that right now?"
So... I guess we should do this.
I think we should probably wait, uh, just until I lose another 20-30 pounds.
Stop it. You look good.
Thanks.
So... what about me? How do I look?
I mean, you look beautiful - you always look... so beautiful, so I guess it's not a big deal. But you... you look amazing.
Okay! Let's go make a porno!
I don't mean to alarm you... but I think I just jerked off Lester a little bit.
The Dutch Rudder?
Yeah! It's ingenious, really.
If you ask me nicely, I will Dutch Rudder you for the rest of our lives.
Good. I'm getting tired of ****in' the Fleshlight.
You **** it?
Yeah.
What'd it feel like?
...**** a flashlight.
