Dr. Frederick Frankenstein My grandfather's work was doo-doo! I am not interested in death! The only thing that concerns me is the preservation of LIFE!!!
Most-quoted character in Young Frankenstein (1974): in 40 of its 56 quotes
Most scenes with: Igor (16), Inga (9), The Monster (3)
From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to the cold stars, "I am man!", our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our mortality. But tonight, we shall hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself. Tonight, we shall ascend into the heavens. We shall mock the earthquake. We shall command the thunders, and penetrate into the very womb of impervious nature herself.
More lines from Dr. Frederick Frankenstein
13 quotes Dr. Frederick Frankenstein Dr. Frederick Frankenstein Put...the candle...back!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein [dreaming]
I am not a Frankenstein. I'm a Fronkensteen. Don't give me that. I don't believe in fate. And I won't say it. [pauses] All right, you win. You win. I give. I'll say it. I'll say it. I'll say it. DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein [After reading a portion of his grandfather's journal]
IT.......COULD......WORK!!!!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein LIFE! DO YOU HEAR ME? GIVE MY CREATION... LIFE!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein MY NAME...IS FRANKENSTEIN!!!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein [after reanimation was unsuccessful]
Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace. [pause, then begins choking lifeless creature] SON OF A BITCH! BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE! I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE! Oh mama!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein Gone! Gone! We've got to find him, you understand? We've got to find him before he kills someone! What have I done? Oh God in Heaven! What have I done?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein Please! Remain in your seats, I beg you! We are not children here, we are scientists! I assure you there is nothing to fear!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein Please, I beg you! For safety's sake, don't humiliate him!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein SEDAGIVE!?!!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein Open this door before I kick your rotten heads in!
Scenes with Dr. Frederick Frankenstein
26 scenes
Medical Student Dr. Frankenstein?
Dr. Frankenstein
My name is "Fronkenshteen."
Medical Student Dr. "Fronkenschteen" isn't it true that Darwin preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case until, by some extrordinary means, it actually began to move with voluntary motion?
Dr. Frankenstein
Are you speaking of the worm or the spaghetti?
Medical Student [the class laughs]
Why, the worm, sir.
Dr. Frankenstein
Yes, I did read something of that incident when I was a student, but you have to remember that a worm... with very few exceptions... is not a human being.
Medical Student But wasn't that the whole basis of your grandfather's work? The reanimation of dead tissue?
Dr. Frankenstein
My grandfather was a very sick man.
Medical Student But as a "Fronkenshteen" aren't you the least bit curious? Doesn't the bringing to life what was once dead hold any interest for you?
Dr. Frankestein
You are talking about the non-sensical ravings of a lunatic mind; dead is dead!
Student
But look at what has been done with hearts and kidneys...
Dr. Frankenstein
[starting to shout]
Hearts and kidneys are TINKER-TOYS!! I'm talking about the central nervous system!!
Student
But, sir...
Dr. Frankenstein
I am a scientist, not a philosopher! [picks up a scalpel] You have a better chance of re-animating this SCALPEL then you would of mending broken nervous tissue!
Student
But what about your grandfather's work?
Dr. Frankenstein
MY GRANDFATHER'S WORK WAS DOO-DOO!!! I am not interested in death! The only thing that concerns me IS THE PRESERVATION OF LIFE!!!
Dr. Frankenstein
[in his anger, Dr. Frankenstein stabs himself in the leg with the scalpel, grimaces, then crosses his legs]
Class...is...dismissed!
Dr. Frankenstein...
Dr. Frankenstein "Fronkensteen."
You're putting me on.
Dr. Frankenstein No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frankenstein No..."Frederick."
Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frankenstein It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen."
I see.
Dr. Frankenstein You must be Igor.
No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frankenstein But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?
Dr. Frankenstein You know, I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.
What hump?
Dr. Frankenstein Werewolf?
There.
Dr. Frankenstein What?
Dr. Frankenstein Why are you talking that way?
I thought you wanted to.
Dr. Frankenstein No, I don't want to.
Suit yourself. I'm easy.
Dr. Frankenstein [Frankenstein, Igor and Inga arrive in front of HUGE castle doors with IMMENSE metal door knockers; Igor bangs the door knockers loudly as Frankenstein helps Inga from the carriage]
What knockers!
Would the doctor care for a brandy before retiring?
Dr. Frankenstein No. Thank you.
Some varm milk... perhaps?
Dr. Frankenstein No. Thank you very much. No thanks.
Ovaltine?
Dr. Frankenstein NOTHING! Thank you. I'm a little tired.
Then I vill say... goodnight.
Dr. Frankenstein Goodnight.
You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me.
Dr. Frankenstein What did he say?
"What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
Dr. Frankenstein That music...
Yes. It's in your blood - it's in the blood of ALL Frankensteins. It reaches the soul when words are useless. Your grandfather used to play it to the creature HE vas making.
Dr. Frankenstein Then it was you all the time.
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein You played that music in the middle of the night...
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein ...to get us to the laboratory.
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein That was YOUR cigar smoldering in the ashtray.
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein And it was you... who left my grandfather's book out for me to find.
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein So that I would...
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein Then you and Victor were...
YES. YES. Say it. He vas my... BOYFRIEND.
Dr. Frankenstein [as they are exhuming a body]
What a filthy job.
Could be worse.
Dr. Frankenstein How?
Could be raining. [it starts to pour]
Dr. Frankenstein For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frankenstein Precisely.
Dr. Frankenstein [ponders this a moment]
That goes without saying.
Voof.
He's going to be very popular.
[Frederick is perusing a shelf of brains preserved in formaldehyde when Igor, who is standing behind the case with his chin resting on the shelf, begins to sing Just a Gigolo] [sings]
I ain't got no body, and nobody cares for me. Yakka tak ta a yakka tak ta ha!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein [startled]
Igor!
Froedrick!
Dr. Frankenstein Are you ready?
Are you sure this is how they did it?
Dr. Frankenstein Yes! It's all written down in the notes! Now tie off the kites and hurry down as fast as you can!
What's the hurry?
Dr. Frankenstein There's a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?
Dr. Frankenstein [no answer] [shouts]
I said, there is a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?
[suddenly appearing next to Dr. Frankenstein]
I understand. I understand. Why are you shouting?
Dr. Frankenstein Well, dear, are you ready?
Yes, Doctor.
Dr. Frankenstein Elevate me.
Now? Right here?
Dr. Frankenstein Yes, yes, raise the platform.
Oh. Ze platform. Oh, zat, yah, yah... yes.
Dr. Frankenstein [after failing to bring the creature to life]
Nothing.
Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry.
Dr. Frankenstein No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace. [appears to walk away but suddenly turns around and starts beating up the creature] SONUVABITCH! BASTARD!!! I'll GET YOU FOR THIS!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?!
Stop it! Stop that! Stop it! You'll kill him!
Dr. Frankenstein I DON'T WANNA LIVE. I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE.
Dr. Frankenstein Oh... MAMA...
Dr. Frankenstein Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?
And you won't be angry?
Dr. Frankenstein I will NOT be angry.
Abby... someone.
Dr. Frankenstein Abby someone. Abby who?
Abby... Normal.
Dr. Frankenstein Abby Normal?
I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frankenstein Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA?!! IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME!!?!?
Dr. Frankenstein HE'S GOT A ROTTEN BRAIN! IT'S ROTTEN, I TELL YA! ROTTEN!
RAAAAAAAA!
Ixnay on the ottenray.
What is this?
Dr. Frankenstein Schwartzwald Kirchetort.
Dr. Frankenstein Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent.
Who are you talking to?
Dr. Frankenstein To you. You just made a yummy sound, so I thought you liked the dessert.
I didn't make a yummy sound, I just asked you what it is.
Dr. Frankenstein But you did. I just heard it.
It wasn't me.
It wasn't me.
Dr. Frankenstein Well, now look here. If it wasn't you, and it wasn't you...
Dr. Frankenstein Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this door.
Yes, Doctor.
Nice working with ya.
Dr. Frankenstein [Dr. Frankenstein goes into the room with The Monster. The Monster wakes up]
Let me out!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!! GET ME THE HELL OUTA HERE!! What's the MATTER with you people?! I was JOKING! Don't you know a joke when you hear one? HA-HA-HA-HA. Jesus Christ, get me out of here!! OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR OR I'LL KICK YOUR ROTTEN HEADS IN!!! MOMMY!!!
Dr. Frankenstein [to The Monster]
Hello handsome. You're a good looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh at you, people hate you, but why do they hate you? Because... they are jealous. Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. Do you wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a God. And listen to me, you are not evil. You... are... good.
Dr. Frankenstein [the Monster starts to cry, and Dr. Frankenstein hugs him]
This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him. I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think. Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to science since the creation of fire.
Dr. Frankenstein MY NAME IS FRANKENSTEIN!
Taffeta, darling.
Dr. Frankenstein Taffeta, sweetheart.
Dr. Frankenstein Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Dr. Frankenstein My fellow scienti...
Audience
Ssssssssssssssss!
Dr. Frankenstein ...tists... and neuro-surgeons, ladies and gentlemen. A few short weeks ago coming from a background, believe me, as conservably and traditionaly grounded in scientific fact as any of you, I began an experiment in... incredulous as it may sound... the reanimation of dead tissue.
Dr. Frankenstein [singing]
If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits...
'UTTIN' ON THE 'IIIIITZ.
Dr. Frankenstein [reading his grandfather's work]
"The minuteness of the parts formed a great hindrance to my speed. I resolved therefore to make the Creature of gigantic stature." Of course, that would simplify everything.
In other words...his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frankenstein Precisely.
Dr. Frankenstein [ponders this a moment]
That goes without saying.
Woof.
Dr. Frankenstein Igor, may I speak to you for a moment?
Of course.
Dr. Frankenstein Sit down, won't you?
Thank you. [sits on the floor]
Dr. Frankenstein No no, up here.
Thank you. [sits on a chair]
Dr. Frankenstein Now...that brain that you gave me...was it Hans Delbruck's?
Dr. Frankenstein [holds up hand]
Ah. Good. Uh...would you mind telling me...whose brain...I did put in?
And you won't be angry?
Dr. Frankenstein I will not be angry.
Dr. Frankenstein Abby someone? Abby who?
Abby Normal.
Dr. Frankenstein [sotto]
Abby Normal?
I'm almost sure that was the name. [he and Dr. Frankenstein laugh]
Dr. Frankenstein [slowly]
Are you saying... [stands] that I put an abnormal brain... [puts hand on Igor's hump; increasingly angry] into a 7 and a half foot long...54- inch wide... [grabs Igor by throat] GORILLA?!?!?! [strangling Igor] IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME?!?!
Dr. Frankenstein [Both Dr. Frankenstein and the Monster perform "Puttin' on the Ritz" in front of the audience]
If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to.
Why don't you go where fashion sits?
UU-EE ONA UIIIITTTZZZZ!!! ["Putting On The Ritz"]
Dr. Frankenstein Different types who wear a day coat.
Pants with stripes and cutaway coat, perfect fits.
UU-EE ONA UIIIITTTZZZZ!!! ["Putting On The Ritz"]
Dr. Frankenstein Dressed up like a million-dollar trouper.
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper.
UU-AA UU-AA!!! ["Super duper"]
Dr. Frankenstein Come, let's mix where Rockefellers.
Walk with sticks or umbrellas in their mitts.
UU-EE ONA UIIIITTTZZZZ!!! ["Putting On The Ritz"]
[They tap dance]
