George Caldwell [running gag whenever he's ejected from the train in any manner]
Son of a bitch!
Played by Gene Wilder 
Silver Streak (1976) · 16 quotes
Silver Streak (1976) · 16 quotes
Most-quoted character in Silver Streak (1976): in 14 of its 16 quotes
Most scenes with: Grover Muldoon (7), Hilly (4)
You stupid, ignorant, son of a bitch, dumb bastard! Jesus Christ, I met some dumb bastards in time, but you outdo them all! Get over there!
More lines from George Caldwell
1 quote George Caldwell Scenes with George Caldwell
12 scenes
What do you publish?
George Oh, mostly nonfiction. Gardening, cook books, how-to-do-it books.
Like sex manuals?
George I've edited a few.
An authority, huh?
George I know what goes where...and why.
That's very interesting. Are you married?
George Divorced.
How come?
George My friends all told me that my wife was too good for me...and after a couple of years I decided they were right.
George I can't get over the size of this room without the partition. They are small rooms by themselves.
They're perfect for juggling.
George For what?
For juggling. When you practice...the balls would always bounce off the walls.
George Do you juggle a lot?
I know what goes where and why.
George I like that song. If I ever hear it again...it'll be difficult not to think of you.
You put that very nicely.
George Thanks. To traveling by train.
Trains that pass in the night.
[they kiss]
George Milk her? I've never milked a cow before.
Rita Cut the gas, Steve, you're a grown man. I'm sure you've had some similar experience. [laughs] Look, you just sit down, take a tit in each hand and let nature take its course.
Sheriff Chauncey Is he with the Feds?
George Who?
Sheriff Chauncey This guy Rembrandt.
George Rembrandt is dead.
Sheriff Chauncey Dead? That makes four. Listen, fella, are you sure you're not making this up as you go along? I'm an officer of the law and I got a lot better things to do than listen to that kind of funnin'.
Sheriff Chauncey [buzzer sounds]
That's my hotline. Now you take your time to get your facts straight 'cause when I come back I want your answers clear and to the point. Got that? And you can start with who shot Rembrandt!
George What do you think?
I think you better make a right up here and then a sharp left. I'm coming over.
[climbs over the seat. George suddenly swerves the car, causing Grover to lunge forward]
Jesus Christ, man! That's how you murdered your victims? Put 'em in a car and bounced 'em to death?
George Sorry!
Sorry, my ass! You dangerous. Proves one thing, though: you don't do this for no living.
George No I don't.
George There's a truck up ahead.
So....there is a truck up ahead. Be a man! Let's turn on the siren. [George begins to accelerate and overtake the truck] Let's get them hippies off the road. Put some foot in it!!
George [a car is coming the other way, causing George to swerve and lose control, and the car skids off the road]
Would you like to drive for a while?
George Are you crazy? I thought we were gonna take the Chevy in back.
Chevy? That's a jerk-off, man. This here is pure pussy.
George Pure pussy? Tell that to the judge.
Don't worry about no judge, Man. This thing gonna get us to Kansas City on time.
George How about jail? Did you know that the office is right in front of us?
You thinking about her?
George Yeah. Crazy thing is I just met her two nights ago.
That's the way love is. I always lose my memory when I fall in love.
George [to himself, in the mirror]
Come on, man, get some jive goin'. Be cool. Shake it, but don't break it. Yeah! Hey man, how do I look? You look sharp, brother. I feel sharp! You hear? I feel like the sun around midnight. You dig? Outta sight! Get down! Get down! Feelin' good! Feelin' fine! Feelin' real fine! That's it. Just loosen up those hips, sugar. All you whiteys got a tight ass. Yeah, get that ass movin' there. Outta sight! I'm a macaroni! Get down! I'm the king! Number one, baby! [Shoe Shiner enters] Um, um, I'm not...
Shoe Shiner Hey, you must be in pretty big trouble, fella. But for God's sake, learn to keep time.
Give me the gun. [George hands him the gun] Now, give me your wallet.
George What the...
I gotta buy a disguise...a porter's uniform.
George You know, these disguises are getting expensive.
What can I say, man? Crime costs.
Devereau The Silver Streak does have its drawbacks, but please try the marmalade. They do provide an excellent cuisine.
Oh, thank you, sir. I'll tell the boys in the kitchen. We aims to please. Coffee, miss?
No, thanks.
He ain't bullshittin' about the cuisine.
Devereau Steward?
Is that your lady, man? She's somethin' else.
Devereau Steward!
Stand up, mama. Let me get a look at you.
Devereau Steward!
Mm, mm, mm! Have mercy!
Devereau Steward, you may go.
Just a little more coffee?
Devereau No, thank you.
Half a cup? [pours coffee in Devereau's lap] Oh, sorry, sir. Look what I've done.
Devereau You... Get out of...
See what I've done...
Devereau You ignorant ****!
[pulling a gun]
Who you callin' ****, huh? You don't know me well enough to call me no ****! I'll slap the taste out your mouth! You don't even know my name! I'll whoop your ass! Beat the white off your ass!
Who are you?
I'm a thief.
George It's all right, Hilly. He's a friend of mine.
Hello.
Hi.
Hi.
So this is Mister Big?
George That's the man.
Devereau I must admit that I'm slightly at a loss for words. But on the other hand, I should warn you that you are a killer and you are wanted by the police in every state and I recommend that you, uh, be careful.
What's he doing?
George He's crazy.
Crazy? He's got the right idea. Let's get out of here and go to a park.
George A park?
Yeah, I wanna lie back on the grass and have you teach me some more about gardening.
[they kiss]
George Caldwell Is there any way to get to the engine from here?
Ralston There's no way to get to the engine at all. How come we're going so fast?
George Caldwell There's nobody driving the train.
Ralston Oh, that's impossible. The train would stop.
George Caldwell Does it look like it is stopping to you?
Ralston [looks out the window]
Sure in the hell don't. I'm gonna pull the emergency brake.
The emergency brakes have been cut.
Ralston [pauses]
Damn hippies!
