David St. Hubbins Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.
2nd most-quoted character in This is Spinal Tap (1984): in 12 of its 48 quotes
Most scenes with: Nigel Tufnel (4), Derek Smalls (3), Marty DiBergi (2)
I, for one, do not think the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.
More lines from David St. Hubbins
5 quotes David St. Hubbins David St. Hubbins Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation.
David St. Hubbins [Concerning his epitaph]
: Here lies David St. Hubbins.... and why not?
David St. Hubbins I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn't believe anything.
David St. Hubbins [Asked by a reporter if this is the end of Spinal Tap]
Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you.
Scenes with David St. Hubbins
6 scenes...
The last time Tap toured America, they where, uh, booked into 10,000 seat arenas, and 15,000 seat venues, and it seems that now, on their current tour they're being booked into 1,200 seat arenas, 1,500 seat arenas, and uh I was just wondering, does this mean uh...the popularity of the group is waning?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no...no, no, not at all. I, I, I just think that the.. uh.. their appeal is becoming more selective.
...
David St. Hubbins They said the album cover is a bit sexist.
Well, so what? What's wrong with being sexy?
David St. Hubbins Sexist, Nigel.
...
I don't hear anything.
Well you would though, if it were playing.
...
Yeah, I like it. I've been fooling around with it for a few months now. Very delicate.
It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.
Yeah, well, it's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy that I'm doing in D [pause] minor, which, I always find is really the saddest of all keys, really, I don't know why; it makes people weep instantly to play (Nigel plays, and sings)
It's a horn part.
It's very pretty.
You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
What do you call this?
Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".
...
Why don't you make ten a little louder, make that the top number and make that a little louder?
(pause to think it over)
These go to eleven.
...
Airport Security Officer: Do you have any artificial plates or limbs?
Er, not really.
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Bobbi Flekman Ian, you put a greased naked woman on all fours, with a dog collar around her neck and a leash, and a man's arm extended out up to here holding the leash, and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it - you don't find that offensive? You don't find that sexist?
No, I don't! This is 1982, for God's sake...
Bobbi Flekman That's right it's 1982. Get out of the Sixties. We don't have this mentality any more.
Well you should have seen the cover they wanted to do. It wasn't a glove, believe me.
...
I mean, people should be envying us, you know.
David St. Hubbins I envy us.
Yeah.
David St. Hubbins I do.
Me too.
...
[After Ian Faith has quit managing the band and stormed out]
Can I raise a practical question at this point?
David St. Hubbins What?
Are we going to do "Stonehenge" tomorrow?
David St. Hubbins No, we're not gonna ****in' do "Stonehenge"!!!
...
David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a St. Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins That's right, yes.
What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins He was the patron saint of quality footwear.
...
[After the failed "Stonehenge" performance regarding the undersized prop]
I think you guys are making too big a thing of this.
Making a big thing of it would have been a good idea.
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Nigel gave me a drawing that said 18 inches. Now, whether or not he knows the difference between feet and inches is not my problem. I do what I'm told.
David St. Hubbins But you're not as confused as him, are you? I mean, it's not your job to be as confused as Nigel.
...
David St. Hubbins We say, "Love your brother." We don't say it really, but -
We don't literally say it.
David St. Hubbins No, we don't say it.
We don't really, literally mean it.
David St. Hubbins No, we don't believe it either, but -
But we're not racists.
David St. Hubbins But that message should be clear.
The Gospel According to Spinal Tap
This pretentious, ponderous group of rock psalms prompts the question "On what day did God create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?"
Shark Sandwich
The review you had on Shark Sandwich which was merely a two word review. Just said "Shit Sandwich."
David St. Hubbins Where did they print that?
That's not real, is it?
David St. Hubbins [When asked what happened to their first drummer]
He died in a bizarre gardening accident...
Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.
David St. Hubbins It's such a fine line between stupid, and uh...
Clever.
David St. Hubbins Yeah, and clever.
David St. Hubbins Too much. There's too much **** perspective now.
David St. Hubbins I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.
I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.
Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.
