Rob So let me get this straight. The party started at eight. Why are we going to a bar at ten?
Played by Ron Livingston 
Swingers (1996) · 84 quotes
Swingers (1996) · 84 quotes
5th most-quoted character in Swingers (1996): in 10 of its 84 quotes
Most scenes with: Mike Peters (5), Answering Machine (5)
Does it have to be Goofy? I mean, I was Hamlet two years ago. Off-broadway. And I was good!
More lines from Rob
4 quotes Rob Rob They went with someone who had more theme park experience. 'd kill for that job.
Rob Don't worry about it, man. It's like, now I have my LA gun story. You should hear the way I tell it to the guys back home: it's an Uzi.
Rob You're telling me that your life sucks; that means my life is God-awful.
Scenes with Rob
5 scenes
See man, T can't roll with that, she's Business class..
Rob Business class ?
Big butt you know, can't fly coach.
You guys are terrible.
Rob Those guys are right. You're money.
Then why won't she call?
Rob She won't call because you left. She's got her own life to deal with and that's in New York. She's a sweet girl and I love her to pieces, but **** her, man. You got to get on with your life. You've got to let go of the past Mikey, and when you do, the future is beautiful. Alright? Look out the window. It's sunny every day here. It's like manifest destiny. Don't tell me we didn't make it. We made it. We're here. And everything that is past is prologue to this, all the shit that didn't kill us is only - ya know, all that shit... You're gonna get over it.
How did you get over it? I mean, how long did it take you?
Rob I don't know, man. Sometimes it still hurts. I don't know, man. It's like you wake up every day and it hurts a little less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And it's like, and this might sound a little weird, but it's like you almost miss that pain.
You miss the pain?
Rob Yeah. For the same reason you miss her... Because you lived with it for so long.
Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?
Rob You don't call.
But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
Rob Right.
So I don't call either way?
Rob Right.
So what's the difference?
Rob There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
Rob Right.
Well that sucks.
Rob Yeah, it sucks.
So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
Rob Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
What do you mean?
Rob I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Well what if she comes back first?
Rob Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
There's the rub.
Rob There's the rub.
Rob [bemoaning his audition for role of Goofy at Disney Land]
Why does it have to be Goofy? Why couldn't it be Mickey? Mickey's an icon.
What do you want? You're tall. At least it's Disney.
Count'em up.
Rob How many strokes? What'd you get?
Eight or a nine.
Rob 'll give you an eight.
What'd you get?
Rob I got an eight.
Dead heat after one hole. This is turning into quite a rivalry.
