Superbad quotes

112 total quotes

Evan
Fogell
Main cast

Officer Michaels
Officer Slater
Seth

View Quote [While breaking up a party] I assume you all have guns and crack.

View Quote The only evidence this is is that you can take a hit like a ****in' champ!

View Quote [While breaking up a party] Everyone prepare to be ****ed by the long dick of the law!

View Quote McLovin's our friend! We should be guiding his ****, not blocking it.

View Quote McLovin!!! NICE!!!

View Quote Shall we get road beers? Yeah? Can I have thirteen beers to go please.

View Quote [While shooting a stop sign, hears police sirens] Oh shit, it's the cops! Bail, bail, bail!

View Quote Are the numbers on your side odd or even, McLovin?

View Quote Officer Slater: Alright now guys, check this out... probably the greatest move in donut-spinning history, you paying attention? Behold the upward spiraling pigtail!
Officer Michaels: Why is it called that?
Officer Slater: I don't know!
Officer Michaels: Make the badge proud, Slater! [to Fogell] He's not usually this drunk when he does this, but I think that could make it more cool.

View Quote Becca: You have such a smooth ****!
Evan: Yeah, you would too... if you were a man.

View Quote [From trailer]
Officer Slater: McLovin?
Officer Michaels: That's such a cool name.
Officer Slater: I know.
Officer Michaels: It sounds like a sexy hamburger.

View Quote McLovin: What's it like to have guns?
Officer Michaels: It's like having two ****s... if one of your ****s could kill someone!

View Quote [Looking at an adult magazine]
Seth: Oh **** me...
Evan: Look at those nipples...
Seth: They look like little baby toes.
Evan: It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get.
Seth: Y'know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome! I almost blew a load into my bellybutton.

View Quote Seth: [referring to Evan's mother] I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby.
Evan: Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad's dick.

View Quote [Watching the police cruiser burn]
Fogell: Can we shoot it?
Officer Michaels: I dunno.
[Offers Fogell his gun]
Officer Michaels: Can you?
[Fogell shoots out a window]
Fogell:Break yo' self fool!
[Fogell empties the rest of the magazine at the car in a frenzy]
Fogel: Tight...