4th most-quoted character in So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993): in 7 of its 43 quotes
Most scenes with: Charlie Mackenzie (7)
Scenes with Tony Giardino
7 scenes
Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as the Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.
Tony Giardino So who's in this Pentavirate?
The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschilds, and Colonel Sanders before he went tets-up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee beady eyes! And that smug look on his face, "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"
Dad, how can you hate the Colonel?
Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartarse!
So Tony, what's the deal with your clothes?
Tony Giardino What do ya mean?
I mean you look like Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch.
Tony Giardino What are ya talking about, I look hip!
No no no no no no no, you look like an undercover cop TRYING to look hip.
Tony Giardino I AM an undercover cop trying to look hip.
Tony Giardino Everytime you meet a nice girl you can get close to, you always break up with them for paranoid reasons.
That's not true. I broke up with those girls for very good reasons.
Tony Giardino Oh really?
Tony Giardino Oh really? What about Jill?
Tony Giardino What about Pam?
JJ John Johnson
Hello everyone, I am a park ranger and I will be leading you on the tour. All of the park rangers were, at one time, guards, myself included. My name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me "Vicky".
Tony Giardino I love Vicky.
Hi, can we get our check please? Thanks.
[the check comes]
I'll get that.
Tony Giardino No i got it.
Tony Giardino No, no, no. Let me.
Tony Giardino Charlie, please.
Tony Giardino Let me pick this up, please.
Tony Giardino I insist.
No, no, no, no, no, no. No to infinity. Negatory. Negatory, good buddy. Ne-ga-to-ry!
I think I'm dating Mrs. X
Tony Giardino Charlie. Two words: Therapy.
Other characters in So I Married an Axe Murderer
