[Shrek and Donkey are now walking through the sunflower fields heading away from Duloc. Shrek is munching on an onion as he makes a mess in the fields]
Okay, so let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp, which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
You know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip.
Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
Uh, no, not really, no.
For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
Example?
Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions. [he holds out his onion]
Yes - - No!
Or they make you cry?
No!
Oh, you leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.
No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. [he throws away the onion and walks off]
Oh, you both have layers. Oh. [sniffs] You know, not everybody likes onions. CAKE! [trailing after Shrek] Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.
I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. [walks passed Donkey]
You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Heck no, I don't like no parfaits"? Parfaits are delicious.
[impatient]
NO!!!! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. [whispers] See you later.
Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole darn planet.
You know, I think I preferred your humming.
Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering.
