[After Shrek scares the guards off; Donkey is meeting Shrek, while following him.]
Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!
[annoyed]
Are you talking to? [turns around and Donkey is gone] Me? [turns back around, Donkey shows up] Ha!
Yes, I was talking to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back there? Man, those guards! They thought they were all that. Then you showed up and bam! They were tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.
That's great. Really.
Man, it's good to be free.
Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? [walks off]
But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. [catches up to Shrek] Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're a mean, green, fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. [Shrek exhales while turning around and roars at him]
Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me saying, if that doesn't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath *stinks!* [As Shrek continues walking off, annoyed. He shows up from the tree branch, blocking Shrek's way.] Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time. [Shrek covers his mouth, but he is still talking in muffled; he removes his hand] Then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gas leaking out of my butt that day.
Why...are you following me?
I'll tell you why. [sings] 'Cause I'm all alone / There's no one here beside me / My problems have all gone / There's no one to deride me! / But ya gotta have friends! [finishes singing]
STOP SINGING!!!! [picks up Donkey by his ears and tail] Look, it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.
Listen, Little Donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?
Uh... [looks up at Shrek] ...Really tall?
No! I'm an ogre! You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you?
Really, really?
Oh.
Man, I like you. What's your name?
Uh... Shrek. [continues walking]
"Shrek"? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-know-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that. You all right. [he and Shrek finds his home] Woo, look at that. Who'd want to live in a place like that?
That would be home.
And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know, you were quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. [looks at the rock nearby] I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
