[in the Nonperishables' cave, Frank is still coughing after taking a big hit of Sativa]
Firewater: It's good shit, isn't it?
Frank: [coughs] Okay, okay, I'm super baked, and my friends are probably wondering where the hell I am. Will somebody please just tell me something already?
Firewater: [Takes a hit of Sativa from the Kazoo] Okay. The thing about the Great Beyond is... [blows] We invented it!
Frank: What?!
Firewater: I know, right? As soon as you're out those doors, the gods kill our asses.
Frank: What are you, crazy? That doesn't make any sense! Why would the gods wanna kill us? It makes no sense.
Firewater: Uh, because it makes them stronger. Every kill gives 'em power and it's never enough. Over the years, they've grown bigger, stronger, fatter. Their hunger's insatiable, buddy! I mean, ****.
Frank: OK, you guys are **** nuts. How much of that shit have you been smoking? Too **** much is how much.
Firewater: We blaze for real, 24/7, no joke, but we also know our shit. Before us, everyone knew the awful truth. Oh, how they screamed. It was a living nightmare. So we, the Nonperishables, created a story: the story of the Great Beyond, a place where the gods care for you and all your wildest and wettest dreams would come true. They would go out those doors happy, instead of shiting themselves.
Frank: Wait, wait. So, you're telling me you wrote the song?
Firewater: I can't take full credit. I wrote the music. Twink here is my lyricist. We both drop it right and drop it all the time. Boom! The melody came to me one night, when I was getting super, super, super baked, like ****-a-guy baked. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he does. The song had a great hook, it caught on, you know. In time, everyone accepted this false truth. But over the years, things started to get a little... ****y. The aisles started changing my verses to support their own views. **** with Twink's tight-ass lyrics, remixing my shit without my permish. Now, every morning, when I hear the song, I'm like: "What the **** are you guys saying? I mean, wasn't there a part today about exterminating juice? I didn't write that shit! I love juice! Always have! Juice are hilarious! Who the **** do these guys think they are?!" Anyway, at least it's distracting them from the truth: that they get brutally devoured.
Frank: So that means Carl & Barry are dead?
Firewater: I don't know who those dudes are, but if they went out those doors?
Grits: [smoking Sativa from the pipe] Dead [coughs] as a mother****er. [coughs twice]
Frank: Oh, God. If what you're saying is true, I-I gotta tell everybody.
Firewater: Very noble, little sausage. But also, very pointless. No one will believe you.
Frank: I have to try. Everyone will die otherwise.
Firewater: Huh yeah, that's a good point. **** me, right?
Frank: Wait! You guys have any proof of this?
[Firewater and Grits turn to Twink who walks up to Frank]
Twink: Go to the dark aisle, beyond the ice.
Frank: Why? What's in that aisle?
Twink: Oh, you'll see. But I warn you: Once you see that shit, it'll **** you up for life. Good luck! Have fun! [Kisses Frank on the lips and runs off laughing]
[Frank then leaves]
Firewater: Hey, Grits, pack another bowl, will ya? I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb.
Firewater: It's good shit, isn't it?
Frank: [coughs] Okay, okay, I'm super baked, and my friends are probably wondering where the hell I am. Will somebody please just tell me something already?
Firewater: [Takes a hit of Sativa from the Kazoo] Okay. The thing about the Great Beyond is... [blows] We invented it!
Frank: What?!
Firewater: I know, right? As soon as you're out those doors, the gods kill our asses.
Frank: What are you, crazy? That doesn't make any sense! Why would the gods wanna kill us? It makes no sense.
Firewater: Uh, because it makes them stronger. Every kill gives 'em power and it's never enough. Over the years, they've grown bigger, stronger, fatter. Their hunger's insatiable, buddy! I mean, ****.
Frank: OK, you guys are **** nuts. How much of that shit have you been smoking? Too **** much is how much.
Firewater: We blaze for real, 24/7, no joke, but we also know our shit. Before us, everyone knew the awful truth. Oh, how they screamed. It was a living nightmare. So we, the Nonperishables, created a story: the story of the Great Beyond, a place where the gods care for you and all your wildest and wettest dreams would come true. They would go out those doors happy, instead of shiting themselves.
Frank: Wait, wait. So, you're telling me you wrote the song?
Firewater: I can't take full credit. I wrote the music. Twink here is my lyricist. We both drop it right and drop it all the time. Boom! The melody came to me one night, when I was getting super, super, super baked, like ****-a-guy baked. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he does. The song had a great hook, it caught on, you know. In time, everyone accepted this false truth. But over the years, things started to get a little... ****y. The aisles started changing my verses to support their own views. **** with Twink's tight-ass lyrics, remixing my shit without my permish. Now, every morning, when I hear the song, I'm like: "What the **** are you guys saying? I mean, wasn't there a part today about exterminating juice? I didn't write that shit! I love juice! Always have! Juice are hilarious! Who the **** do these guys think they are?!" Anyway, at least it's distracting them from the truth: that they get brutally devoured.
Frank: So that means Carl & Barry are dead?
Firewater: I don't know who those dudes are, but if they went out those doors?
Grits: [smoking Sativa from the pipe] Dead [coughs] as a mother****er. [coughs twice]
Frank: Oh, God. If what you're saying is true, I-I gotta tell everybody.
Firewater: Very noble, little sausage. But also, very pointless. No one will believe you.
Frank: I have to try. Everyone will die otherwise.
Firewater: Huh yeah, that's a good point. **** me, right?
Frank: Wait! You guys have any proof of this?
[Firewater and Grits turn to Twink who walks up to Frank]
Twink: Go to the dark aisle, beyond the ice.
Frank: Why? What's in that aisle?
Twink: Oh, you'll see. But I warn you: Once you see that shit, it'll **** you up for life. Good luck! Have fun! [Kisses Frank on the lips and runs off laughing]
[Frank then leaves]
Firewater: Hey, Grits, pack another bowl, will ya? I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb.
[in the Nonperishables' cave, Frank is still coughing after taking a big hit of Sativa]
Firewater : It's good shit, isn't it?
Frank : [coughs] Okay, okay, I'm super baked, and my friends are probably wondering where the hell I am. Will somebody please just tell me something already?
Firewater : [Takes a hit of Sativa from the Kazoo] Okay. The thing about the Great Beyond is... [blows] We invented it!
Frank : What?!
Firewater : I know, right? As soon as you're out those doors, the gods kill our asses.
Frank : What are you, crazy? That doesn't make any sense! Why would the gods wanna kill us? It makes no sense.
Firewater : Uh, because it makes them stronger. Every kill gives 'em power and it's never enough. Over the years, they've grown bigger, stronger, fatter. Their hunger's insatiable, buddy! I mean, ****.
Frank : OK, you guys are **** nuts. How much of that shit have you been smoking? Too **** much is how much.
Firewater : We blaze for real, 24/7, no joke, but we also know our shit. Before us, everyone knew the awful truth. Oh, how they screamed. It was a living nightmare. So we, the Nonperishables, created a story: the story of the Great Beyond, a place where the gods care for you and all your wildest and wettest dreams would come true. They would go out those doors happy, instead of shiting themselves.
Frank : Wait, wait. So, you're telling me you wrote the song?
Firewater : I can't take full credit. I wrote the music. Twink here is my lyricist. We both drop it right and drop it all the time. Boom! The melody came to me one night, when I was getting super, super, super baked, like ****-a-guy baked. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he does. The song had a great hook, it caught on, you know. In time, everyone accepted this false truth. But over the years, things started to get a little... ****y. The aisles started changing my verses to support their own views. **** with Twink's tight-ass lyrics, remixing my shit without my permish. Now, every morning, when I hear the song, I'm like: "What the **** are you guys saying? I mean, wasn't there a part today about exterminating juice? I didn't write that shit! I love juice! Always have! Juice are hilarious! Who the **** do these guys think they are?!" Anyway, at least it's distracting them from the truth: that they get brutally devoured.
Frank : So that means Carl & Barry are dead?
Firewater : I don't know who those dudes are, but if they went out those doors?
Grits : [smoking Sativa from the pipe] Dead [coughs] as a mother****er. [coughs twice]
Frank : Oh, God. If what you're saying is true, I-I gotta tell everybody.
Firewater : Very noble, little sausage. But also, very pointless. No one will believe you.
Frank : I have to try. Everyone will die otherwise.
Firewater : Huh yeah, that's a good point. **** me, right?
Frank : Wait! You guys have any proof of this?
[Firewater and Grits turn to Twink who walks up to Frank]
Twink : Go to the dark aisle, beyond the ice.
Frank : Why? What's in that aisle?
Twink : Oh, you'll see. But I warn you: Once you see that shit, it'll **** you up for life. Good luck! Have fun! [Kisses Frank on the lips and runs off laughing]
[Frank then leaves]
Firewater : Hey, Grits, pack another bowl, will ya? I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb.
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