[Inside the basement, where Stu and Drew are arguing angrily]
Pushy!
DP Drew Pickles
Inconsiderate!
DP Drew Pickles
Good for nothing!
[in unison]
WHY CAN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?!
DP Drew Pickles
We're talking about a real job, Stu, with benefits!
I'm not going to waste my life as a clock-punching, paper-pushing, bean-counting... [Drew gasps in shock] Oh, no offense. [pulls down his welding mask and proceeds to weld]
DP Drew Pickles
You barely make ends meet now. You got no insurance, no savings, and another kid on the way!
For your information, bro, I am working on something right now that is going to put this branch of the Pickles family on easy street. [puts down his welding mask]
DP Drew Pickles
[angrily lifts up Stu's welding mask again]
What is it this time, huh, an electric sponge?
Of course not! That was last year. [reveals his skeleton of the Reptar Wagon] This, this is the Reptar Wagon! The ultimate in toddler transportation! The perfect children's toy!
LP Lou Pickles
[while fixing an old radio]
In my day, we had plenty of fun just throwin' rocks at each other. Big bag of dirt clods, that's what the kids want.
The Reptar Corporation is holding a toy design contest and the winner gets $500!
DP Drew Pickles
[sarcastically]
Ooh!
And there'll be plenty more if this toy's a hit, and I'll be famous!
DP Drew Pickles
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you said when you built that stupid thing.
[Drew points to a Dactar glider, which is hanging suspended from the ceiling]
Maybe Dactar was a little bit complex, but...this...this...watch! [speaking into a microphone with his normal voice] I am Reptar! Hear me roar!
Reptar Wagon [Stu's voice, distorted]
I am Reptar! Hear me roar!
LP Lou Pickles
[The Reptar Wagon spits fire across the garage. Drew jumps out of the way while Stu runs up and puts the fire out with his extinguisher] [putting out some flames on his sleeve]
Con-flam it! Can't a man work in his own basement without gettin' barbecued?!
Okay, so maybe real fire isn't the best idea for a children's toy.
[Drew's shirt is smoldering as he glares at Stu, who quickly sprays him with the fire extinguisher]
[Cut back to the forest. The babies are pulling the Reptar wagon, with Tommy pushing it and Dil inside] [to the babies]
Good job, you guys. We're almost there. [to Dil] Good, Dil. Now, play nice. [Dil hits him with his baby bottle]
Not much fun back there, is it?
Oh, we're doing okay. [to Dil] That's some good hittin' there, Dilly. [Dil hits him again]
I'm hungry. Right about now my daddy would be making me a fried baloney sandwich. I can almost smell that burning. Ooh, it tastes all crunchy.
Stop it, Chuckie. You're making me hungry. [Dil hits him again]
[The babies stop at the top of a hill, and gasped in horror]
Oh, no!
We can't see our houses from here, Tommy.
We can't see any houses from here.
[We look at the panoramic forest from the top of the hill]
We're doomed! Doomed. Doomed, I tell you!
LK Lieutenant Klavin
[Pull away, until we see a wolf growling from a distance. Cut to Stu and Didi, at the scene of the mattress truck accident. They're with Lt. Klavin] [picks up the pacifier]
Mrs. Pickles, I know this is hard for you, but can you identify this binky? [holds up the pacifier]
[Stu and Didi react in shock. We cut back to the babies where Chuckie is sobbing]
This is all Dil's fault! Right, Chuckie?
Uh, uh! This never would've happened if you hadn't putted him in the wagon in the first place, right, Chuckie?
It's not our fault you got a bad, naughty, stinky baby for a brother!
He's not naughty. He's just a...he's just a...a baby! How could you be mad just because you're... [Dil rips a tab on Tommy's diaper and it drops. He looks down, shocked and embarrassed, but he plays it off to defend his brother. The others stare at Tommy's exposure, with Lil in particular giving a peculiar creepy smile before looking away] ...um...standing there all nakie? I mean, I'm sure he's trying to help. And side's, it's hot, phew, exploring in the woods all day. [picks up his diaper] Ah! A little breeze feels good. Just what I needed. Oh, thank you, Dil.
[Dil hiccups]
Those hiccups are really starting to bug me.
Face it, Tommy. Having a baby brother just isn't what you expected.
[sees the smoke from the distance]
Hey, you guys, look. Somebody's house. Tommy was right.
[amazed]
Wow. My sponsatility does work.
Yeah, but who'd have a house way out there in the forest?
Maybe a lizard lives there.
You know, a big guy with a pointy hat that grants wishes. All's we got to do is knock on the door and say we wanna go home. See? Then everything will be back to Norman.
Come on, guys! We're off to see the lizard! [trips on something]
[helps him up]
Oh, Tommy, are you okay?
I'm fine. I just tripped in a little hole, that's all.
[They see a large animal footprint on the ground] [studies the paw print]
Gosh, it looks kinda like Spike's feet; only if he was a giant.
I saw feetprints like that in our storybook. A wolf made them, and then he ate that little red riding girl.
I don't think it's a wolf, Chuckie. If it was, we'd hear him say... [prepares to mimic a wolf sound, but the wolf's howl is heard in the distance. He looks around nervously] Uhh...
[The wolf howls again, and the babies scream. They all get into the Reptar Wagon. Chuckie pushes the wagon before climbing in, and take off]
Do you see the wolf?!
I don't know what he looks like!
Teeth! Teeth and fur! And teeth!
[Dil pulls a lever to make the Reptar Wagon move]
No, Dil! Bad Dil! No!
Reptar Wagon [We cut to a forest scene where we see a couple of deer eating off the ground, a pair of chipmunks and rabbits kissing each other, a couple of birds on a branch singing and a raccoon scampering about a squirrel while a skunk looks on. This serene scene is disturbed and the animals run in panic when the babies and the Reptar Wagon crashes on through]
I am Reptar! [roars]
RF Ranger Frank
[We then cut to a forest road, where forest rangers Frank and Margaret are driving around in a Jeep. The radio is playing]
Margaret? That's your name, isn't it? [turns off the radio] I'm sure you've run afoul of many a scary pedestrian. But out here, we have what you might call...hmm, how should I put it? Actual danger.
RF Ranger Frank
Grizzlies that'll rip the top off your car. Bobcats, wolves, wolverines, which are something entirely different.
[Just then, the Reptar Wagon crosses the road in back of them. Margaret turned around and caught a glimpse of it]
And dragons. Ha!
[Cut to Reptar Wagon]
Tommy, I sawed some grownups! Stop! Stop!
I don't know how! [pushes several buttons in vain]
[The Reptar Wagon is barreling toward a cliff at top speed]
Well, I hope you figure it out, 'cause I didn't bring no bathing suit!
[They all scream. Tommy pulls a lever. The wagon swerves to a complete stop at the edge of the cliff. It teeters forward and pebbles roll into the river far below. The wagon levels out, flinging Tommy to the back seat, leaving Dil at the wheel, giggling]
Any further, and I would've needed a fresh diapie.
[Dil plays with the brake. The wheels move and the wagon moves slightly over the cliff's edge]
Dil, no!
Reptar Wagon [Too late, Dil releases the lever and the babies slide down the cliff into the river. As water splashes on them, the bottom of the wagon inflates into a raft, keeping the wagon afloat. The tip of its tail doubles as a propeller]
Aqua Reptar, engaged.
[As the babies coast under a wooden bridge, the park rangers drive over it. Fade to ranger station]
I'm telling you, I saw a dragon.
RF Ranger Frank
Margaret.
A big green, fire-breathing dragon. I've got to call headquarters. [rushes to the phone]
RF Ranger Frank
While you're at it, you might ask for a new assignment, say, a city park. 'Cause, you see, out here in the country, you have to be just a little tougher. [sees the Reptar Wagon in his telescope. The wagon floats with the current in the water. He screams like a little girl and backs away from the telescope] AAAH! AAH! THE DRAGON! I JUST SAW IT! I SAW IT!
Where?! Where?! [looks through the telescope, but the wagon is nowhere to be seen] Where? Here? Where?
[In another part of the forest, the grownups are still looking for the babies] [crying]
Oh, we'll never find them! Can't you do something?!
[The Jeep that they were riding in got stuck in the mud]
Come on, baby. Come on!
[on CB]
Sky Pickle to ground Pickle!
[Cut to Stu, flying in his Dactar glider]
Roger that, Deed! We have aerial search! [collides into a flock of ducks]
[Back to the forest; the monkeys gang up on Tommy and Dil]
Oh, no. N-Nice monkeys. Ohh.
[Out of nowhere, Phil and Lil bravely came to the rescue by pulling the monkeys' tails]
Not so fast you monkeys!
[Phil and Lil heroically let go of the tails as the monkeys whack each other in the heads. They scrambled away in fear]
Lil! Phil! [hugging them both] You came back! Oh, but-but where's...
Reptar Wagon [Chuckie is driving the Reptar Wagon at full speed. The monkeys get out of the wagon's way]
Grrr! I am Reptar, the perfect children's toy!
[to Tommy]
Hi, Tommy! [bravely reaches for a jar of abby food in the wagon] Hey, monkeys! You want nanners? Well, come and get'em! [runs with the banana baby food, with the monkeys following him]
Gosh, I never knowed he was so brave.
Yeah. We're gonna miss him. Well, we better get in the wagon and get outta here.
No! You guys take Dil and go look for the lizard. I gotta go help my bestest friend. [starts walking around with his watch]
AP Angelica Pickles
[Cut to Angelica, who's at the site of the train wreck, still being towed by Spike]
Ohh! Aah! [lands near the crashed-circus train] Ooh! [losing her hat in the process] Dumb dog. There's no babies around here. Aah! [crashes into Chuckie, who gasped] There you are! Hand over my Cynthia, Finster!
Run, Angelica! [runs away] The monkeys are coming! The monkeys are coming!
AP Angelica Pickles
[confused]
Huh? [getting trampled by the monkeys. One of the monkeys conveniently drop Cynthia near her] Cynthia! [another monkey tries to steal Cynthia] Hey! [grabs the monkey by the tail, and is once again towed away] Ohh! Stop!
[Spike finds Tommy and licks him] [relieved]
Spike! You found me!
[Chuckie trips on a stone near a cliff; he is surrounded by the monkeys. The camera pans away to show the river, and on the other side of that bridge, that wolf. Tommy rides Spike towards Chuckie, who opens the stewed bananas and tries to pour them into the river, but the wind slopped the food onto Chuckie]
Ugh! Oh! Ohh! Nice monkeys. Nice monkeys. I was only kidding. Don't be mad at me. Please? Okay. Help. [the monkeys pounce onto him and try to lick the food off. Tommy and Spike come to the rescue; they chase the monkeys away]
[Spike licks Chuckie]
Come on, Chuckie! [pulls out his pocket watch and points it at the direction of a fire tower] Chuckie! The lizard's house! Let's find the others! We gots a lizard to see!
[Tommy and Chuckie ride on Spike's back. Camera pans in the air to the Reptar wagon, parkes at a distance]
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey. Ohh! Ohh! Spike! I can't look! I can't look!
[A low branch knocked Tommy and Chuckie off. Spike runs off]
Spike! Spike!
DP Dil Pickles
[Phil and Lil catch up with Tommy and Chuckie. The monkeys find the babies and gang up on them. Meanwhile, back at the Reptar Wagon, Dil plays with the brakes, thinking that its round handle is a ball]
My ball! [pulls the brakes, and the wagon runs off]
[Back with the monkeys, who dance around the babies]
Don't let them take me, Tommy! [the monkey tries to pull his hair] I don't wanna be monkey boy!
PA Phil and Lil
[as the monkeys try to pull their clothes]
Aah!
[as the monkey tries to pull his shirt]
Aah!
Reptar Wagon [The twins pull Tommy and Chuckie in as the wagon rolls by, frightening the monkeys]
Hang onto your diapies, babies. Grr!
TA Tommy and Lil
Thanks, Dilly. Woo, hoo, hoo!
LD Lil DeVille
Dilly, you're my hero! [kisses Dil] Bye-bye, monkeys!
AP Angelica Pickles
[Meanwhile, Angelica is still being towed by a monkey]
Aah! Oh! Stop it! [angrily bites the monkey's tail. The monkey runs off in pain, leaving Cynthia behind. She picks up Cynthia and kisses it] Cynthia! [the Reptar Wagon passes by] Hey, you stupid diaper bag! Wait for me! [Phil and Lil fend off 2 monkeys as she hops on the wagon's tail] Dumb monkeys! [the wagon goes on some railroad tracks, crashing a "Do Not Enter" sign and going through a tunnel. Then, it goes on a rickety old bridge over the river] After all I've done for you babies, you were gonna leave me and Cynthia beh- [the wagon hits a missing board on the bridge, catapults her and her doll off in the air] HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDD!!!!!!!
I didn't know she could fly.
LD Lil DeVille
I think it's cause she's a witch.
[Angelica dangles on a broken board by a strap on her jumper]
Hang on, Angelica!
[Angelica's other skate comes loose and goes over the falls]
