2nd most-quoted character in Really Big Shrimp: in 11 of its 17 quotes
Most scenes with: Really Big Shrimp (8), Eric Punches Drake (8), Helen (2)
It's time! [he steals old man's cane and starts chasing Josh] You ate my enchilada!
There was no note!
You eat my enchilada!
There was no note!
Walter, they're here.
Ooh. [walks before the front door]
Dad, are you sure about this?
Yes. And we are doing a very nice thing for a sweet old lady. [Lula breaks the door in]
Where's the bathroom?!
Did you just break our door in?!
I rang the doorbell, waited 25 seconds, no one answered, what I supposed to do?
You could've rang the doorbell, again.
Who's that boy with a big head that looks like a tooth pick with a cantaloupe on top? [Megan laughs and Josh give her a furious look]
What, am I going to pretend that wasn't funny?
That's Josh, [introduces everyone else] That's Drake, I prefer him. That's Megan, that's Audrey, and this is...[forgets who Walter is]
Walter!
Great, now where's the bathroom?!
Right through that door.
Well, thank you for finally giving me that information! [walks into bathroom and slams door]
Is she always so--
Buh-bye! [goes away]
I can't believe that lady is staying in our guest room for a week.
No, she's staying in your room.
What?!
You'll be staying in the boys' room.
What?!
This is an outrage!
What are we gonna stay?
Your room is huge. The three of you will be fine for a week.
Aw, this is horrible.
It's not that bad.
Super Bowl's on.
I don't care.
Come on, the commercial's up in about two minutes. You gotta watch. It's your song.
It's not my song. It's horrible bubble-gum pop garbage-y badness. That 50,000,000 people are about to hear. I'll be on the roof.
Why?
Because you're not there. [walks away]
Drake! [runs off to Drake]
I'm Josh Nichols.
I should probably be doing my homework.
I'm just doing a little homework here.
You know there's an old song by the stones it you can't always get what you want.
Drake always get what he wants.
But I usually get what I want.
I guess Drake's one of those guys who has a lucky star.
Josh may think I'm a lucky one but I bet you things start going his way. The one thing that I can always count on.
But one thing I know for sure.
Whenever I hang out with Josh.
Whenever I get mixed up with Drake.
Things always turn out.
Unusual.
Okay.
What do you think?
Uh, well....
I hate it!
Yeah, that's not even my song. What'd you do to it?
Uh, we just had our best mixers and producers work on it 6 days straight. It's great.
But it's not the song you said you like.
Yeah, it is. It's just been improved.
No, it's been ruined!
Drake...
Look, don't "Drake" me! They can't do that to my song!
Sure, we can. We have a signed contract that gives us complete creative control.
Look, no, you don't! I didn't sign any contract.
Your manager did.
Uh...
We'll let you guys discuss this privately.
Don't be mad...
I made a mistake.
How could you sign away creative control of my song?!
I was mesmerized by a giant shrimp!
You didn't read the contract, did you? How could you sign a contract without reading it?!
He said it was the standard stuff.
OH my god!
M-M-M-Maybe I can fix this, alright? I'll go talk to Alan as your manager.
No, you won't!
Look, maybe I could fix--
No, you're not my manager anymore, alright?! YOU'RE FIRED! I mean it!
Man, I have a headache.
Why are you screaming?
'Cause there was a big, hairy foot in my face!
Stupid big shrimp. This is all your fault! [take 1 shrimp in his mouth, and spits it out] Tell your friends!
Man, I don't understand. Why would they end up using my version of the song?
Like you said, bro. Sometimes, when people play dirty, you gotta play dirty back!
You put fruit flies in Alan Krim's car?
Better! I switched the CDs.
Crazy Steve!?
WHO ELSE!?
But it's Monday, you can't schedule crazy Steve to work on a Monday!
Monday's his bad day!
Well, no-one TOLD me that!
****-CA-DOODLE-DOO, THE COW SAYS MOO!!!
Which 1 of you switched the song?
I did.
We both did! Okay?
Well, guess what. There's rules and laws about television broadcasting. We can turn you into the FCC for what you did!
Yup, you guys could be in a lot of trouble. [smiles] But you're not.
We're not?
They're not?
What are you?
In the last 24 hours, we've gotten over 30,000 emails and phone calls from fans wanting to buy your song. This morning, we made the song available on the Spin City Website. There were so many downloads, it crashed our server. Drake Parker, I think you're about to have yourself a #1 hit.
I want it.