Really Big Shrimp quotes from Really Big Shrimp

My name's Drake Parker.

I'm Josh Nichols.

I should probably be doing my homework.

I'm just doing a little homework here.

You know there's an old song by the stones it you can't always get what you want.

Drake always get what he wants.

But I usually get what I want.

I guess Drake's one of those guys who has a lucky star.

Josh may think I'm a lucky one but I bet you things start going his way. The one thing that I can always count on.

But one thing I know for sure.

Whenever I hang out with Josh.

Whenever I get mixed up with Drake.

Things always turn out.

Unusual.

Okay.

What do you think?

Uh, well....

I hate it!

You hate it?

Yeah, that's not even my song. What'd you do to it?

Uh, we just had our best mixers and producers work on it 6 days straight. It's great.

But it's not the song you said you like.

Yeah, it is. It's just been improved.

No, it's been ruined!

Drake...

Look, don't "Drake" me! They can't do that to my song!

Sure, we can. We have a signed contract that gives us complete creative control.

Look, no, you don't! I didn't sign any contract.

Your manager did.

You signed a contract?

Uh...

We'll let you guys discuss this privately.

Don't be mad...

OH, I AM WAY PAST MAD!

I made a mistake.

How could you sign away creative control of my song?!

I was mesmerized by a giant shrimp!

You didn't read the contract, did you? How could you sign a contract without reading it?!

He said it was the standard stuff.

OH my god!

M-M-M-Maybe I can fix this, alright? I'll go talk to Alan as your manager.

No, you won't!

Look, maybe I could fix--

No, you're not my manager anymore, alright?! YOU'RE FIRED! I mean it!

Man, I have a headache.

Why are you screaming?

'Cause there was a big, hairy foot in my face!

Stupid big shrimp. This is all your fault! [take 1 shrimp in his mouth, and spits it out] Tell your friends!

Man, I don't understand. Why would they end up using my version of the song?

Like you said, bro. Sometimes, when people play dirty, you gotta play dirty back!

You put fruit flies in Alan Krim's car?

Better! I switched the CDs.

Help! Crazy Steve's gone berserk!

Crazy Steve!?

WHO ELSE!?

But it's Monday, you can't schedule crazy Steve to work on a Monday!

Monday's his bad day!

Well, no-one TOLD me that!

****-CA-DOODLE-DOO, THE COW SAYS MOO!!!

You handled that really well, better than I did.

Which 1 of you switched the song?

I did.

I did.

We both did! Okay?

Well, guess what. There's rules and laws about television broadcasting. We can turn you into the FCC for what you did!

Yup, you guys could be in a lot of trouble. [smiles] But you're not.

We're not?

They're not?

What are you?

In the last 24 hours, we've gotten over 30,000 emails and phone calls from fans wanting to buy your song. This morning, we made the song available on the Spin City Website. There were so many downloads, it crashed our server. Drake Parker, I think you're about to have yourself a #1 hit.

Okay, wait a second. These guys just totally scammed us, and you're gonna reward them for it?

They had to scam us, 'cause you tried to ruined a very good song. Which is why you're fired!

What!? [Drake and Josh smile] You can't fire me! Our wives play golf together.

Your wife cheats. Now, get out! [Alan storms away]

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out...

I know how to breathe!

JUST DO WHAT I SAY!

Okay.

What did you do!?

I just plugged in the 5-K!

I'll PLUG IN YOUR 5-K!!! [grabs Craig's head]

She's got my head! She's got my head! She's got my head! [others take Helen off of him]

Alright, this song is for Helen and Buzz, and my manager, Josh Nichols. [rehires Josh as his manager]