Vanellope
Uh, hi. [The Disney Princesses surround Vanellope on all sides, ready to attack her with their powers and weapons] Whoa! Whoa! Ladies, I can explain! See, I'm a princess, too.
Anna
Wait. What?
Vanellope
Yeah! Princess Vanellope von Schweetz of the Sugar Rush von Schweetzes? I'm sure you've heard of us. It'd be embarrassing for you if you haven't. [laughs nervously]
Pocahontas
What kind of a princess are you?
Vanellope
What kind?
Rapunzel
Do you have magic hair?
Vanellope
No.
Elsa
Magic hands?
Vanellope
No.
Cinderella
Do animals talk to you?
Vanellope
No.
Snow White
Were you poisoned?
Vanellope
No!
Tiana and Aurora
Cursed?
Vanellope
No!
Rapunzel and Belle
Kidnapped or enslaved?
Vanellope
No! Are you guys okay? Should I call the police?
Ariel
Then I have to assume you made a deal with an underwater sea witch (Ursula), where she took your voice in exchange for a pair of human legs?
Vanellope
No! Good Lord! Who would do that?!
Snow White
Have you ever had true love's kiss?
Vanellope
Ew! Barf!
Jasmine
Do you have daddy issues?
Vanellope
I don't even have a mom!
Neither do we!
Rapunzel
And now for the million-dollar question: Do people assume all your problems got solved because a big strong man (Wreck-It Ralph) showed up?
Vanellope
Yes! What is up with that?
She is a Princess!
Cinderella
Who made your gown? I've never seen anything quite like it.
Vanellope
Oh, this old thing?
Cinderella
Oh, I'd so love to have one of my own.
Aurora
As would I.
Moana
Me, too!
Elsa
So cool!
Rapunzel
Best outfit ever!
Ariel
I want one too, you guys!
Cinderella
I'll get my mice on this. [The Disney Princesses are relaxing with Vanellope, all wearing new modern clothes; Cinderella sighs] So this is love. All hail Princess Vanellope, the queen of comfy.
Ariel
Of all the thingamabobs in this entire world, I never thought I'd get to wear a real... what's it called again? Oh, yeah. A shirt. [sings] I once had a dream that I might wear a shirt...
Vanellope
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait. What's going on?
Jasmine
Uh, she's singing.
Vanellope
Yeah, but there was, like, music and the spotlight and... Wait, you all saw it, too, right?
That's what happens when a princess sings about her dreams.
Vanellope
Oh, that's never happened to me, I mean, not even once.
Rapunzel
Why don't you give it a try? What is it you really want? Sing about that.
Vanellope
Okay, uh, sure. I can do that. Uh, let's see. [clears her throat and sings] Oh, steering wheel, oh, steering wheel. Oh, yes, I want a steering wheel. [scats]
Well, there's a lot to unpack here. So, this steering wheel you sing of-- That's a metaphor?
Vanellope
Oh, no, no, no, no. It's not a metaphor. It's just... I literally want a steering wheel. I think the issue was I was a little pitchy.
Maybe a little. But sometimes your song can't start until you go someplace to reflect.
Pocahontas
What works for some of us is finding a form of water and staring at it.
Vanellope
What?
Snow White
Oh, yes. I like to stare at a wishing well.
Moana
I stare at the ocean.
Horse trough.
Cinderella
Soap bubbles.
Vanellope
Wait, you're saying if I just stare at some water...
Ariel
Important water.
Vanellope
Right, of course, important water. I stare at the important water, and somehow magically, I'll start singing about my dream?
Rapunzel
For sure.
Mm-hmm.
Vanellope
Uh, yeah. I don't think so, ladies, but thanks.
Five minutes, Princesses. Another "Which Disney Princess are you?" quizlet starts in five minutes. [leaves]
Jasmine
Okay, thank you.
Well, I guess it's back to the gowns, girls.
Aurora
It was lovely to meet you, Vanellope.
And best of luck finding your song.
Och. Lang may yer lum reek, and may a moose ne'er leave your girnal with a tear drop in his eye. Haste ye back, me lassie!
Vanellope
Uh-huh... [whispering] What did she just say?
We don't know.
Moana
We can't understand her.
Anna
She's from the other studio.
Vanellope
Ah.
