4th most-quoted character in Private Parts (1997): in 4 of its 33 quotes
Most scenes with: Howard Stern (4)
Scenes with Alison
4 scenes
Alison Howard...I'm willing to believe you didn't sleep with that girl. OK? And I understand you're a somewhat abnormal person with a somewhat abnormal job. That I can accept. I deal with abnormality every single day. I don't need everything in my life to be normal. And on the air, you do what you do. That's your job. But off the air, for me to be in this marriage...I need to know I'm the only one. And I'm not saying that to pressure you. I'm saying it because it's just something I know about myself. So... if you need more time or whatever...
I don't need any more time. I am just so madly in love with you. I don't... I don't need anyone else in my life. I never wanted anyone else in my life. All I want is you. I just want you to forgive me. Thanks for coming back.
I feel like such a loser.
Alison It's not your fault. It was a lame station.
Alison You can't blame a radio station.
Alison In what way?
In a way that I gotta figure out what I'm gonna be. I mean, I don't want to be one of these disc jockeys that runs around the country, you know, looking for work all the time. I don't want to end up like that. It's so sad. It's so apparent to me now what I should be doing. I should be talking about my personal life. I've got to get intimate. And every time I feel like I shouldn't say something, maybe I should just say it, just blurt it out, you know? I just got to let things fly. I got to go all the way.
Alison You didn't go all the way before?
No. I mean...No. A lot of times, I'm just holding back.
Alison Then I guess you should go all the way.
Hi, honey. Robin Leach says we should move to Antigua.
Alison [taking off her clothes]
Oh, yeah? Come on, hurry up. Snap to it. I'm ovulating.
I'm in the middle of important show research.
Alison Howard, seriously, come on.
You know what? You're getting baby fever here. And you know, maybe it's a little premature. I'm about two days away from being fired, the way I figure it. And do you want to know something? You got to think about the economics of this.
Alison You're gonna be the best morning man in the history of radio. At any minute, you're gonna be number one.
Alison Yeah! Strip!
Let me tell you something. Look at yourself. You're completely on fire about having a baby. You don't understand. I'm not a piece of meat. I mean, I have to be romanced.
Alison Oh, yeah. Please.
Ooh, look at that bra. Where did you get that?
Alison You like this?
OK. That's it. That's it! I am making a baby! It's baby time! I'm ready to give you a baby.
Alison Thank you.
Hold on. [pulls pants down and hops towards her]
Alison OK. Now I'm hot. Now I actually want to have sex. I didn't before and now I do.
Alison How could you do that? Do you think that was funny? You think it's funny to make jokes about our personal life like that? You're an asshole!
What are you talking about? Alison, I love you. What are you talking about?
Alison Howard, not everything is for your audience. I need a life that is ours, that belongs to us.
I'm on the air 6 hours a day. I'm trying to come up with material. I hate going out.
Alison Too bad!
I said when we came here, if I was gonna win on the radio, I'd have to talk about everything. I couldn't hold back.
Alison Howard...
Come on, last night we were laughing about this. I just assumed you thought it was funny.
Alison It was funny for us last night. Privately, for us.
Alison, if I don't talk about you and me on the air...
Alison Shut up. Shut up.
The audience isn't gonna be there.
Alison Shut up! Shut up!
Alison Shut up! You disgust me! I can't even look at you, idiot!
Other characters in Private Parts
More Mary McCormack characters
