Mia Thermopolis quotes from The Princess Diaries (2001)

Mia Thermopolis

Tell me, how does my mother, or any person for that matter, go into a parent/teacher conference and come out with a date?

Mia Thermopolis

Me? A...A princess? SHUT...UP!

Mia Thermopolis

Just in case I wasn't enough of a freak already, let's add a tiara!

Mia Thermopolis

Somebody sat on me again.

Mia Thermopolis

Please don't crush my soy nuts.

Mia Thermopolis

You are so lucky you don't know who your parents are.

Mia Thermopolis

You know, most kids hope for a car for their 16th birthday, not a country!

Mia Thermopolis

I don't want to rule my own country, I just want to pass the tenth grade.

Mia Thermopolis

Is this punishment for driving without a licensed driver in the front seat?! [sobs and collapses across the front seat] I am invisible... and I am wet.

Mia Thermopolis

Hi, um... hello. I'm Mia. Um, it stopped raining! I'm really no good at speech-making. Normally I get so nervous that I faint or run away, or sometimes I even get sick. But you really didn't need to know that... but I'm not so afraid anymore. See, my father helped me. Earlier this evening, I had every intention of giving up my claim to the throne. And my mother helped me, by telling me it was ok, and by supporting me like she has my entire life. But then I wondered how I'd feel after abdicating my role as Princess of Genovia. Would I feel relieved, or would I feel sad? And then I realized how many stupid times a day I use the word 'I.' And probably all I ever do is think about myself. And how lame is that when there's like seven billion other people out there on the planet, and... sorry, I'm going too fast. But then I thought, if I cared about the other seven billion out there, instead of just me, that's probably a much better use of my time. See, if I were Princess of Genovia, then my thoughts and the thoughts of people smarter than me would be much better heard, and just maybe those thoughts could be turned into actions. So this morning when I woke up, I was Mia Thermopolis. But now I choose to be forevermore, Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia.

Queen Clarisse (upon first seeing Mia): You look so...young.

Mia

Uh, thank you. And you look so... (Clarisse raises her eyebrows) clean.

Mia

I can't do this, I'm a girl!

What am I, a duck?

Mia

Joe, can you drop us off a block from the school? I don't want to cause a riot with this hearse.

Joe

This is a non-riot hearse. If it were a hearse, there would be silence in the backseat.

Joe

This is betweeen a waltz and a tango.

Mia

It's a wango?

Mia

You broke my glasses!

You broke my brush.

Joe

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Mia

Eleanor Roosevelt said that.

Michael

Why me?

Mia

Because you saw me when I was invisible.

Mia

Good morning, Mrs. Gupta.

Morning, Lily. (Looks at Mia) ...Lily's friend.

Mia

Now, what did you want to tell me?

Clarisse Renaldi

Something that, I think, will have a very big impact upon your life.

Mia

I already had braces.

Clarisse Renaldi

No, it's bigger than orthodontia.

Mia

Oh, this is a nightmare! I'm going back to bed! [starts to walk out]

Helen Thermopolis

Mia, the-the three of us have to talk.

Mia

Oh, OK. Um, is there maybe something else about me and my life that just maybe I might want to know about? Um-oh no, are you two waiting to take me on a talk show somewhere and to let me know I have a twin sister who's a duchess?

Clarisse Renaldi

You have a cousin who's a contessa. Fondly known as Bartholomew. Actually, we call him Pookie.

Helen Thermopolis

This is getting us nowhere! Talk to me!

Mia

I can't talk to you right now. I'm late for a meeting with my guidance counselor.

Clarisse Renaldi

I'm late for a meeting with Spain and Portugal!

Mia

Hey, Joe?

Joe

Mm-hmmm?

Mia

I'm gonna turn the backseat into a dressing room so I can change into a proper outfit for Madame, OK?

Joe

OK. And don't forget your shoes. [hands Mia her new shoes]

Mia

Ahh, thanks.

Joe

Strange town, San Francisco. When I purchased the pumps, they asked if I wanted them wrapped or if I was going to wear them.

911, I'd like to report an accident... They put me on hold!

Oh, for the love of God!

...Destruction of public property, and driving without a license. Accompanied by an adult whose license expired 45 years ago.

Queen Clarisse Renaldi

I've been trying to tell you, Officer, licenses don't expire in Genovia; not for the Queen. Don't I have diplomatic immunity?

You do. But her we have to take downtown.

Mia

What?

Queen Clarisse Renaldi

It's all right, Officer, I understand- [gets an idea] I understand perfectly.

Mia

You do?

Mia, no city, no town, no country can function if its officers and its transportation engineers don't follow the letter of the law. Why, I would be proud to have such fine, honorable men serving in Genovia.

Aw, shucks, ma'am-

We're not all that.

You most certainly are. As a matter of fact, I would like to bestow upon you the Genovian Order of the- uh- [gets stuck, spots a sign for Rose Street] Genovian Order of the Rose. Won't you please kneel. Does anybody have a saber?

I have an umbrella!

Mia

I have this emergency brake.

This will do fine, thank you. By the power vested in me by the Royal Crown of Genovia, I dub thee...?

Artie Washington, San Francisco, ma'am.

Arthur Washington, and I dub thee-?

Bruce Macintosh of San Leandro.

Bruce Macintosh- Masters of the Order of the Rose. And all of you bear witness to this auspicuous occasion in history. Please rise.

Mia

Okay I look like an asparagus.

Helen Thermopolis

But a very, very cute asparagus!