The Princess Bride quotes

View Quote [Fezzik is climbing a rope up a vertical rock face, carrying Vizzini, Inigo and Buttercup. The Man in Black has started climbing the rope as well.]
Vizzini: Faster!
Fezzik: I thought I was going faster.
Vizzini: You were supposed to be this colossus! You were this great, legendary thing! And yet he gains!
Fezzik: Well, I'm carrying three people. And he's got only himself.
Vizzini: I do not accept excuses! I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all.
Fezzik: Don't say that, Vizzini. Please?

View Quote Buttercup: If you'll release me ... whatever you ask for ransom, you'll get it, I promise you...
Man in Black: And what is that worth, the promise of a woman? You're very funny, Highness.
Buttercup: I was giving you a chance! It does not matter where you take me. There's no greater hunter than Prince Humperdinck. He could track a falcon on a cloudy day. He can find you.
Man in Black: You think your dearest love will save you?
Buttercup: I never said he was my dearest love! And yes, he will save me. That I know.
Man in Black: You admit to me you do not love your fiance?
Buttercup: He knows I do not love him.
Man in Black: "Are not capable of love" is what you mean.
Buttercup: [indignant] I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream!
[The Man In Black ****s his hand back, ready to slap Buttercup. She flinches.]
Man in Black: That was a warning, Highness. The next time, my hand flies on its own. Where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies.

View Quote Inigo: What is that you're ripping?
Vizzini: It's fabric from the uniform of an Army officer of Guilder.
Fezzik: Who's Guilder?
Vizzini: The country across the sea. The sworn enemy of Florin. [slaps the horse's rump] Go! Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.
Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone.
Vizzini: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition.
Fezzik: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.
Vizzini: Am I going mad or did the word "think" escape your lips!? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass!
Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.
Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken! What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her! And remember this. Never forget this! [to Inigo] When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't buy brandy! [to Fezzik] And you! Friendless. Brainless. Helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed? In Greenland!?

View Quote Grandson: Has it got any sports in it?
Grandfather: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles!
Grandson: Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try and stay awake.
Grandfather: [sarcastically] Oh, well, thank you. That's very kind of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.

View Quote Fezzik: Inigo! Inigo! Where are you? [Inigo appears at the window] Ah, there you are. Inigo, I saw the Prince's stables, and there they were, four white horses. And I thought, there are four of us, if we ever find the lady. [Buttercup appears at the window] Hello, lady! So I took them with me, in case we ever bumped into each other. I guess we just did.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, you did something right.
Fezzik: Don't worry. I won't let it go to my head.

View Quote Buttercup: Oh, Westley, will you ever forgive me?
Westley: What hideous sin have you committed lately?
Buttercup: I got married. I didn't want to. It all happened so fast.
Westley: It never happened.
Buttercup: What?
Westley: It never happened.
Buttercup: But it did. I was there. This old man said, "Man and wife."
Westley: Did you say, "I do"?
Buttercup: [confused] No. We sort of skipped that part.
Westley: Then you're not married. If you didn't say it, you didn't do it.

View Quote Westley: [entering the fire swamp] It's not that bad.
[Buttercup stares at him incredulously.]
Westley: I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.

View Quote [Inigo pounds on a door]
Miracle Max: [from inside] Go away!
[Inigo pounds again]
Miracle Max: [opening a small window in the door] What? What?
Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the King all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me. And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed! [slams the window closed]
[Inigo pounds again]
Miracle Max: [opening the window again] Beat it, or I'll call the Brute Squad!
Fezzik: I'm on the Brute Squad.
Miracle Max: [looking at Fezzik] You are the Brute Squad!
Inigo Montoya: We need a miracle. It's very important.
Miracle Max: Look, I'm retired. And besides, why would you want someone the King's stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you wanted me to miracle.
Inigo Montoya: He's already dead.
Miracle Max: [pauses] He is, eh? I'll take a look. Bring him in.

View Quote Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the Shrieking Eels — if you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh. If you swim back now, I promise, no harm will come to you. I doubt you will get such an offer from the Eels.

View Quote [to Fezzik] And YOU! Friendless. Brainless. Helpless. Hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed? In Greenland?!

View Quote Inigo Montoya: You know, it's very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long. Now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.
Westley: Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.

View Quote Old Woman: Your true love lives and you marry another — True love saved her in the Fire Swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse! So, bow down to her if you want. Bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo!

View Quote [Westley and Buttercup finish tumbling down the hill.]
Westley: Can you move at all?
Buttercup: Move? You're alive. If you want, I could fly.
Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: I will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need.

View Quote As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Well, really, that's all this is. Except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest — how do you feel?

View Quote [The Man in Black has just challenged Vizzini to a battle of wits for the Princess, to the death.]
Man in Black: [hands a small tube to Vizzini] Inhale this, but do not touch.
Vizzini: [sniffs the tube] I smell nothing.
Man in Black: What you do not smell is called iocaine powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the deadliest poisons known to man.
Vizzini: [smirks] Hmm...
[The Man in Black takes the two wine goblets and turns away from Vizzini. He returns a moment later and, after shifting the goblets around quickly, sets them down in front of himself and Vizzini. Vizzini smirks again.]
Man in Black: Now, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right, and who is dead.