National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation quotes

57 total quotes

Clark W. Griswold
Cousin Eddie
Others

View Quote Aunt Bethany: [after reaching the Griswolds' house] Is this the airport Clark?

View Quote Clark: I simply solved the problem. We needed a coffin... Er, a tree. There are no lots open on Christmas Eve. Lewis burned down my tree so I replaced it as best I could. Voilà.
Ellen: Are you okay?

View Quote I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas.

View Quote Uncle Lewis: Hey Gris, if you're not doing anything constructive, run into the living room and get my stogeies.
Clark: Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis?
Ellen: He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas.
Clark: If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas.

View Quote Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?

View Quote Ellen Griswold: Welcome to our home - what's left of it.

View Quote [walks in with a bound and gagged Mr. Shirley tied with a big red ribbon] Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas, Clark. [to Mr. Shirley] You about ready to do some kissing?

View Quote Ellen: Clark, I think it's be best if everyone went home... before things get worse.
Clark: Worse?! How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!!

View Quote [the newel post is wobbly so Clark cuts it off with a chain saw] Fixed the newel post.

View Quote Well I'm gonna park the cars and get the suit cases, and well, I'll be outside for the season.

View Quote Ruby Sue: Uncle Clark, are you sure you ain't Santa Claus?
Clark: I'm sure... I can't even afford to be an elf.

View Quote Clark: My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain...
Eddie: I appreciate that, Clark.
Clark: ...is innocent.