Hurry up, Clark. I'm freezing my baguettes off.
Clark W. Griswold
Chevy Chase · 52 quotes
Cousin Eddie
Randy Quaid · 22 quotes
Ellen
Beverly D'Angelo · 14 quotes
Aunt Bethany
Mae Questel · 6 quotes
Uncle Lewis
William Hickey · 6 quotes
Art
E.G. Marshall · 4 quotes
Audrey
Juliette Lewis · 3 quotes
Mr. Shirley
3 quotes
Ruby Sue
Ellen Hamilton Latzen · 3 quotes
Todd
Nicholas Guest · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Clark W. Griswold & Cousin Eddie (13), Clark W. Griswold & Ellen (11), Clark W. Griswold & Uncle Lewis (4)
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation quotes
Page 1 of 6Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?
Is Rusty still in the navy?
I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.
Welcome to our home - what's left of it.
[Picks up the phone receiver]
Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting.
The little lights aren't twinkling.
I know Art. And thanks for noticing.
Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is?
Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic.
Is your house on fire, Clark?
No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.
Don't throw me down the stairs, Clark.
I'll try not to, Aunt Bethany.
What's that sound?
You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
[finding Clark after his outburst]
Son? I love you. We all love you, but this is a terrible night. Nothing's gone right, it's a disaster. But your losing your temper with the whole family only makes things worse, and you're too good a father to act like this. Now, in years to come, you'll want your children and family to remember all the love you gave us and how hard you tried to make the perfect Christmas.
I know, I just...
You just cocked it up. [Clark looks at him] But that's okay. It happens.
All our holidays were always such a mess.
Oh, yeah.
How'd you get through it?
I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.
Yeah?
Are you going to recite "The Night Before Christmas"?
No. It's your house, it's your Christmas. I'm retiring.
'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary That's my name.
No shit.