Ms. Vito, it has been argued by me, the defense, that two sets of guys met up at the Sac-O-Suds, at the same time, driving identical metallic mint green 1964 Buick Skylark convertibles. Now, can you tell us by what you see in this picture, if the defense's case holds water?
[Lisa examines the picture]
Ms. Vito, please answer the question: does the defense's case hold water?
No! The defense is wrong!
Are you sure?
I'm positive.
How could you be so sure?
Because there is no way that these tire marks were made by a '64 Buick Skylark convertible. These marks were made by a 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
Objection, Your Honor! Can we clarify to the court whether the witness is stating opinion or fact?
This is your opinion?
It's a fact!
I find it hard to believe that this kind of information could be ascertained simply by looking at a picture!
Would you like me to explain?
I would love to hear this!
So would I.
...
The car that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make these marks without positraction, which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark!
And why not? What is positraction?
It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tires. The '64 Skylark had a regular differential, which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on the gas, one tire spins, the other tire does nothing.
[the jury members nod, with murmurs of "yes," "that's right"]
Is that it?
No, there's more! You see where the left tire mark goes up on the curb and the right tire mark stays flat and even? Well, the '64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge. But that didn't happen here. The tire mark stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now, in the '60's, there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction, and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks. One was the Corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, weight, wheel base, and wheel track as the '64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
And because both cars were made by GM, were both cars available in metallic mint green paint?
They were!
Thank you, Ms. Vito. No more questions. Thank you very much.
[kissing her hands]
You've been a lovely, lovely witness.
