Mean Girls quotes

View Quote Jason: Is your muffin buttered?
Cady: What?
Jason: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Cady: My what?
Regina: Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeaze?
Jason: I'm just being friendly.
Gretchen: [whispers] You were supposed to call me last night!
Regina: Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?
Cady: No, thank you.
Regina: Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.
Jason: [whispers] Bitch...

View Quote Chip Heron: This is your lunch, OK? I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk; you can ask one of the big kids where to do that.
Betsy Heron: Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. OK? You ready?
Cady: I think so.

View Quote Ms. Norbury: [handing Cady her test back] Not your best.
Kevin Gnapoor: Damn, Africa, what happened?

View Quote Kevin Gnapoor: Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color.
Cady: I have to pee.

View Quote [Regina, Karen, Gretchen and Cady listening to Katy Rose's Overdrive] Regina: Cady, do you even know who sings this?
Cady: Um... the Spice Girls?
Regina: [laughs] I love her. She's like a Martian.

View Quote Mr. Duvall: Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?
Aaron Samuels: No.
Kevin Gnapoor: What are marijuana tablets?

View Quote Jason: Did you see a nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!
Student: Yeah, that's true dude...

View Quote Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!

View Quote Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
[pause. All look at Cady]
Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Karen: Ew...

View Quote Karen: You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He's a good kisser.
Gretchen: He's your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: No, honey, nuh-uh.
Karen: That's not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right.

View Quote [Mr. Duvall is introducing Cady to the class]
Mr. Duvall: Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
Cady: That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
Mr. Duvall: My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.

View Quote Mr. Duvall: Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behavior. And from young ladies. I've got parents calling me on the phone and asking, "Did someone get shot?" I oughta cancel your Spring Fling.
[all girls shout, no, and whisper among themselves]
Mr. Duvall: Now, I'm not gonna do that because we've already paid the DJ, but don't think I'm not taking this book seriously. Coach Carr has fled school property. Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. Now what the young ladies in this grade need is an attitude makeover. And you're going to get it, right now. I don't care how long it takes. I will keep you here all night.
Joan the Secretary: We can't keep them past four.
Mr. Duvall: I will keep you here until four.

View Quote Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Lea Edwards: She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane.
Jessica Lopez: - and he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.

View Quote Mr. Duvall: So, uh... how was your summer?
Ms. Norbury: I got divorced.
Mr. Duvall: Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
Ms. Norbury: I win.
Mr. Duvall: Yes, you do.

View Quote Kevin Gnapoor: [seeing the Jingle Bell Rock dancers] Damn!
Janis: What?
Kevin Gnapoor: I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang.