Uncle Albert A friend of mine went to buy some long underwear. The shopkeeper asked him, 'How long do you want it?' And my friend said, 'Well, from about September to March'.
Played by Ed Wynn 
Mary Poppins (1964) · 104 quotes
Mary Poppins (1964) · 104 quotes
8th most-quoted character in Mary Poppins (1964): in 5 of its 104 quotes
Most scenes with: Bert (4)
Scenes with Uncle Albert
5 scenes Uncle Albert 
Reminds me of a guy I know who got a nice cushy job in a watch factory.
Uncle Albert What does he do?
He stands about all day and makes faces.
Uncle Albert Ha ha ha. He makes faces in a watch factory.
Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Uncle Albert What's the name of his other leg?
Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I save for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
Uncle Albert I'd be so grateful.
Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he had a nightmare. So bad, he chewed his pillow to bits. To bits. The next morning, I says, "How do you feel, Granddad?" He says, "Oh not bad, a little down in the mouth."
[Bert and Uncle Albert are laughing at Uncle Albert's tea-party]
I always say there's nothing like a good joke.
Uncle Albert And that was nothing like a good joke.
