Sam Let us go get the shit kicked out of us by love.
7th most-quoted character in Love Actually (2003): in 7 of its 89 quotes
Most scenes with: Daniel (5)
But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.
More lines from Sam
1 quote Sam Scenes with Sam
5 scenes
Sam I'm not hungry.
Sam... I've done chicken kebabs!
Sam Didn't you see the sign on the door?
[He starts practising his drums; Daniel leans back and sees the sign, which says, "I SAID - I'M NOT HUNGRY"]
Okay...
So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam You really want to know?
I really want to know.
Sam Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam OK. The truth is actually... I'm in love.
Sorry?
Sam I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam No.
Oh, OK, right. Well, I'm a little relieved.
Sam Why?
Well, you know - I thought it might be something worse.
Sam [incredulous]
Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.
...
Option One: ask her out.
Sam Impossible.
Fair enough. Option Two: become her friend.
Sam She's the most popular girl in school and she hates boys.
Okay. Option Three: kidnap her and keep her tied up in your room until she agrees to marry you.
Sam It's a route I've considered.
And quite rightly rejected on the grounds of...
Sam Hygiene.
...
All right, we can definitely crack this. I was a kid once too, remember. Now, it's someone at school?
Sam Yes.
Good, good. And how does she... or he... feel about you?
Sam She doesn't even know my name. And even if she did, she'd despise me. She's the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she's heaven.
Hmmm...
Sam Daniel, I have a plan!
Thank the Lord! Tell me.
Sam Well, girls love musicians, don't they?
Uh-huh.
Sam Even the really weird ones get girlfriends.
That's right. Meatloaf definitely got laid at least once. For God's sake, Ringo Starr married a Bond girl!
Sam [looks at him strangely]
Whatever. There's a big concert at the end of the term, and Joanna's going to be in it. I thought, if I was in the concert, and played really, really well, there's a chance she might fall in love with me. What do you think?
I think it's brilliant! It's stellar! Uh, apart from the one little, obvious, tiny, little baby hiccup...
Sam That I don't play a musical instrument.
Yessir.
Sam A tiny, insignificant detail.
You know, Sammy, I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary, but... the general wisdom is that, in the end, there isn't just one person for each of us.
Sam [referring to the Titanic film]
There was for Kate and Leo. There was for you. There is for me.
Sam [Holds up one finger]
She's "the one".
Fair enough.
Sam By the way, I feel bad. I never asked you how your love life is going.
[mock chuckles]
No. As you know, that was a done deal long ago. Unless, of course, Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case I want you out of the house straight away, you wee motherless mongrel.
Sam Oh?
No, no, we'll want to have sex in every room. Including yours.
