Edwin Listen to me; don't make the same mistakes I made when I was young. **** a lotta women Dwayne, not just one woman, a lotta women.
2nd most-quoted character in Little Miss Sunshine (2006): in 16 of its 57 quotes
Most scenes with: Olive (3), Richard (2), Sheryl (2)
Again with the **** chicken! Every night it's the **** chicken! Holy God Almighty! Is it possible just once we could get something to eat for dinner around here that's not the god damned **** chicken?!
More lines from Edwin
10 quotes Edwin Edwin You know how tired I am? If some girl came up to me and begged me to **** her, I couldn't do it.
Edwin That young stuff is the best stuff in the whole world. See, right now you're jail bait, they're jail bait. It's perfect. I mean, when you hit eighteen, bam! You're talking about three to five.
Edwin I can say what I want--I still got Nazi bullets in my ass.
Edwin [to Dwayne]
Don't show me the pad. I don't want to see the **** pad.
Edwin Olive, Richard's an idiot. I like a woman with a little meat on her bones.
Edwin [to Frank]
Get me some porn; get me something really nasty too; I don't want any of that airbrush shit. Get yourself a little treat too; get yourself a **** rag.
Edwin Richard, whatever happens, you tried to do something on your own, which is more than most people ever do. I include myself in that category. You took a big chance, it took guts, and I'm proud of you.
Edwin You're the world champion Growler.
Edwin Do you know what a loser is? A real loser is somebody who is so afraid of not winning they don't even try.
Scenes with Edwin
5 scenes Edwin [Edwin is complaining about the family having chicken for dinner]
What's that? Chicken? Every night it's the **** chicken! Holy God Almighty! Is it possible, just once, we could get something to eat for dinner around here that's not the goddamned **** chicken?
Whenever you are ready to cook your own food, you're more than welcome to it.
Edwin Well, at Sunset Manor, ya know...
If you liked Sunset Manor so much, you shouldn't have gotten yourself kicked out of there, right?
No, don't answer the question, Frank.
Richard...
Don't answer it. He's not going to answer the question.
I wanted to kill myself because I was very unhappy..
He's sick! He is a sick man! He's sick in his head!
Richard!
I'm sorry, I don't think it's an appropriate conversation for a seven year-old.
Well, she's going to find out anyway.
Okay.
Go on, Frank.
Why were you unhappy?
There were a lot of reasons, mainly though I fell in love with someone who didn't love me back.
Who?
One of my grad students. I was very much in love with him.
Him? It was a boy? You fell in love with a boy?
Yes, I did. Very much so.
That's silly.
Yes, you're right. It was very, very silly.
Edwin [under his breath]
There's another word for it.
Dad.
So that's when you tried to kill yourself.
Well, no, the boy that I was in love with fell in love with another man. Larry Sugarman.
Who's Larry Sugarman?
Larry Sugarman is perhaps the second most highly regarded Proust scholar in the U.S.
Who's number one?
That would be me, Rich.
So that's when...
No, uh, what happened was I was a bit upset, so I said some things that I shouldn't have said and did some things that I shouldn't have done, and subsequently I was fired from my job and forced to move out of my apartment and into a motel.
Edwin [blows his nose]
And that's when you..'
Well, no. Actually, all of that was...okay, what happened was, two days ago the MacArthur Foundation, in its infinite wisdom, awarded a genius grant to Larry Sugarman. And that's when I...
Edwin Decided to check out early.
Yes. Yes. And I failed at that as well.
Edwin I'm not driving.
Well, Grandpa doesn't have to come.
Edwin What? I coached her. I gave her the moves.
Grandpa, am I pretty?
Edwin Olive, you are the most beautiful girl in the whole world.
You're just saying that.
Edwin No! I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality. It's because you're beautiful, inside and out.
Grandpa?
Edwin Yeah?
Edwin You're not a loser. Where'd you get the idea you're a loser?
Grandpa
Whoa whoa whoa, back up a minute. D'you know what a loser is? A real loser is someone who's so afraid of not winning, they don't even try. Now you're trying, right?
Edwin Well then you're not a loser! We're gonna have fun tomorrow, right?
Edwin We can tell 'em all to go to hell.
Other characters in Little Miss Sunshine
More Alan Arkin characters
Schmendrick the Magician
Yossarian
Bud
Lester Siegel
Arnie Klein
Bill
Wild Knuckles
A. "Peevy" Peabody