Scenes with Jack Wells
4 scenes
Kelly Scott
The lake is so black and still.
Sheriff Hank Keough
Yeah, we wanted to call it Lake Placid, but someone said that name was taken.
Jack Wells
It's not a science trip.
Kelly Scott
Could you be a little more condescending? 'Cause I'm not real great with subtlety.
Jack Wells
Something in that lake killed somebody, all right? I appreciate your trying to help. I'm really glad that you... brought the RAID.
Kelly Scott
There, that's better.
Jack Wells
Ma'am...
Kelly Scott
Look, if you call me "ma'am" one more time I'll sue you, and with today's laws, it's possible.
Sheriff Hank Keough
She's good.
Sheriff Hank Keough
Tents were sent ahead. Should already be set up by the time we get there.
Kelly Scott
Tents? We're staying in TENTS?
Sheriff Hank Keough
I told you, two days we'd have to camp.
Kelly Scott
Yes! Camp! But I thought that meant Ramada Inn. I never heard tents! Will there be toilets?
Jack Wells
Maybe we should just take you back.
Kelly Scott
Why? Because I prefer toilets? Maybe I should just wipe myself with some leafy little piece of poison oak. And then I can spend the whole day scratchin' my ass, blendin' in with the natives.
Mrs. Bickerman
Oh, my husband passed away. It's been almost two years now.
Sheriff Hank Keough
My department doesn't have any record of that, Mrs. Bickerman.
Mrs. Bickerman
Well, I'm sorry. Incomplete records haunt me so.
Jack Wells
What was the cause of your husband's death, ma'am? Do you know?
Kelly Scott
We don't mean to invade your privacy, but was he ill, was he sick?
Sheriff Hank Keough
Was he swallowed?
Kelly Scott
Doesn't anyone "make a move" around here in Maine?
Jack Wells
[opens the passenger door and moves his bag]
Get in.
Kelly Scott
You move a bag and that's it? That's your "move"?
Jack Wells
Come on, I know a good bar where we can get some beers.
Kelly Scott
[gets in and closes the door]
Are the glasses clean?
Jack Wells
Uhh... yeah. Are you gonna complain like this all night?
Kelly Scott
Start the car Jack.
Jack Wells
I miss the crocodile already.
Other characters in Lake Placid
