Aunt Nora quotes from Jumanji (1995)

I think a bed-and-breakfast is just what this town needs.

Aunt Nora

Well, it's pretty hard to pass up, especially full of furniture. Oh, boy! I keep forgetting how big this place is. Judy, Peter, come look at this. I'm gonna put a reception area over here. And a bar over here in the parlor.

That sounds lovely. I'm sure you and your kids are gonna be very happy here.

Aunt Nora

Oh. Well, actually, they're my late brother's. He and his wife passed away just last winter. Is this something, or what?

Judy Shepherd

It sure is.

So, what do you think, young man? Is it big enough for you?

Judy Shepherd

Peter hasn't spoken a word since it happened.

Oh, my. I'm so sorry. How terribly awful.

Judy Shepherd

It's okay. We barely even knew our parents. They were always away-- skiing in Saint Moritz, gambling in Monte Carlo, safariing in darkest Africa. We didn't even know if they loved us. But when the sheik's yacht went down, well, they managed to write us a really beautiful good-bye note that was found floating in a champagne bottle amongst the debris. Excuse me. [laughing, shaking her head and walking away as she knowingly told Mrs. Thomas a lie]

Aunt Nora

They were very devoted parents. It was a car crash in Canada. So you'll send me those escrow papers?

First thing tomorrow.

Aunt Nora

I'll have to get a locksmith out for this one. Peter, pick up your toys, please. Peter, take this suitcase up to the attic. Then we can all have ice cream...and bourbon.

Aunt Nora

What? What is it?

Judy Shepherd

I'm going to Motel 6.

Aunt Nora

Oh, for heaven's sake.

I don't see any guano.

Judy Shepherd

He said it looked like that.

That's an African bat. Some kid said she saw a bunch of those back in the '60s. But we don't get bats like that in New England.

Judy Shepherd

But that's what he saw.

Well, whatever it was is gone now. Bats aren't what I'd worry about in this house any ways.

Judy Shepherd

What would you worry about?

Well, personally I wouldn't wanna live in a house where someone was murdered.

Judy Shepherd

Murdered?

Yep. Little Alan Parrish. I say his father did it. There's a thousand and one places he could have hid the body in this house. Especially if he chopped it up first.

Aunt Nora

Hey, up there! You kids don't wanna be late for your first day of school.

Not a bat in sight, ma'am.

Aunt Nora

Ya hear that? There is nothing to be afraid of in this house.

Aunt Nora

I can't believe I have to see your principal after the first day. What am I gonna do? Let's just try to relax and finish our dinner and talk about something else.

Judy Shepherd

Well, we found out why you got this house so cheap. 26 years ago, a kid named Alan Parrish used to live here. Then one day, he just disappeared 'cause his parents chopped him up in little pieces and hid him in the walls.

Aunt Nora

Okay, that's it. I'm sick and tired of your lies, young lady, you're grounded. [Judy gets up and leaves]

Judy Shepherd

Fine. There's nowhere to go in this stupid town anyway. And just for your information, that wasn't a lie.

Judy Shepherd

Did you hear anything a little while ago?

Peter Shepherd

Do you miss Mom and Dad?

Judy Shepherd

No.

Peter Shepherd

Liar. If you don't cut that out, they're gonna send you to a shrink.

Judy Shepherd

Where do you think they're gonna send you if you don't start talking?

Carl Bentley

Turn the siren off. Right there!

I got it.

Carl Bentley

Okay!

Van Pelt

Stop your cringing, woman. I could have shot you at any moment.

Then why didn't you?

Van Pelt

You didn't roll the dice. Alan did.

Carl Bentley

There it is. Hit the brakes. Hit the brakes!

I'm hittin' 'em.

Carl Bentley

Hit the brakes!

I'm hittin' the brakes!

Van Pelt

He should be here any moment.

Sarah! You're all right?

Yes.

Where's Peter?

Peter Shepherd

I'm here.

Oh, great.

So remember, circumstances are never ever out of your control. End of tape three.

To update on the events unfolding in Brantford, New Hampshire where at least 98 people have been hospitalized with symptoms ranging from fevers and rashes to violent seizures. Local resources have been strained to the breaking point. State health officials are asking anyone experiencing symptoms to dial 9-1-1. [Nora gets out of the car and witnesses zebras, elephants, and rhinos run by. As they do this, a monkey jumps into the car. She shuts the door and drives off. The monkey screeches, startling her and she drives into a ditch]

Carl Bentley

I got it.

Alan, talk to him. Please?

What? We don't have time for this, okay?

I know, but he's a kid and he was trying to help.

All right.

Thank you.

I warned you about this, Peter. No, you wanted to play the game. What, are you crying? You don't cry, all right? You keep your chin up. Keep your chin up. Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem, you face it like a man.

I'm sorry. Twenty-six years buried in the jungle and I still became my father. It's okay. Come here. I'm sorry. Hey. It's all right. Remember what you told me? It's all right to be afraid.

Peter Shepherd

It's not that.

What is it? [whispers in Alan's ear] Okay. Ready? [pulls Peter's tail out of his pants] Don't worry. We're gonna have you turned back into your old self in no time flat. 'Cause we're gonna go in here, and together, we're gonna sit down, we're gonna finish that game, no matter what. [The house has turned into a swamp] Suddenly, I feel right at home.

Carl Bentley

Lorraine, this is Carl. I know who's behind this. I'm headin' to the Parrish place. Gimme backup. Lorraine?

Aunt Nora

Wait!

Carl Bentley

Now what?

Aunt Nora

Stop! Wait, stop!

Carl Bentley

Is there a problem, ma'am?

Aunt Nora

Can I have a ride home?

Carl Bentley

Where do you live?

Aunt Nora

Jefferson Street. The old Parrish place.

Carl Bentley

Do you have children? A boy and a girl?

Aunt Nora

Oh, my God! What happened?

Carl Bentley

Get in. I'll explain it on the way. [a vine from the game has taken Carl's cop car] Fine! Take it! We gotta get to that house.

Come on. Okay, it's my turn. I've got it. Colonel Mustard in the library with a wrench. Clue.

"Beware the ground on which you stand, the floor is quicker than the sand."

Alan!

Help me.

Okay. Stay calm. Don't struggle. Stay calm.

I'm calm.

Judy Shepherd

Alan! Grab on!

Pull. Okay, I got it. Pull!

Stay calm!

Come on.

Oh, good! I got you.

Stop giving me things that come apart!

Judy Shepherd

"There is a lesson--"

All right.

Judy Shepherd

"There is a lesson you will learn:

I got you.

Judy Shepherd

sometimes you must go back a turn." [the floor becomes quicksand; Sarah tries to pull Alan up, but also gets stuck]

Did I hurt you?

Oh, no.

Oh, dear.

Oh, thank you, Judy. Thank you. That was quick thinking. Sarah and I would like to get out of the floor, so it's your turn, Peter.

Peter Shepherd

Okay.

I thought I lost you again.

Thanks for stickin' around this time.

Peter Shepherd

"Need a hand while you just wait, we'll help you out, we each have…eight?"

What's that? What is it?

Nothing. Waah!

You don't go "Waah!" for nothing.

Oh, my.

Peter! My dad kept an axe in the woodshed. Go get it.

Peter Shepherd

Okay.

Hurry! Go, go, go!

Judy Shepherd

Sarah!

Aunt Nora

Judy? Peter?

Peter Shepherd

Aunt Nora, it's me, Peter.

Aunt Nora

Oh, God! [she backs into the closet]

Peter Shepherd

Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'll explain later. [locks her in the closet]