Needy Lesnicky quotes from Jennifer's Body (2009)

Needy Lesnicky

I don't even know who Needy Lesnicky is anymore. I'm a different person now. A person who uses curse words and kicks orderlies and sees things that aren't there. A very bad, very damaged person... [lifts her top sleeve, revealing Jennifer's bite-mark imprinted on her shoulder] Lesnicky: But sometimes change can be good! For instance, most occult scholars don't know this, but if you're bitten by a demon, and you live, you just might absorb some of the demon's abilities... You might get lucky for once in your miserable life! [she floats up, kicks out the window and escapes]

Needy Lesnicky

Every day I get letters. I think I get more letters than Santa Claus, Zac Efron and Dr. Phil combined. I'm kinda the shit.

Needy Lesnicky

Sometimes, the letters are from people who say they're praying for me.They tell me everything will be okay if I just accept Jesus Christ into my heart. I say the words, but nothing ever happens. Nobody comes back. Nobody gets offthe cross. Welcome to the Mental Olympics. They're big on recreation here. Supposedly, it helps us vent our aggressions. Oh, yeah! Personally, I think they're trying to wear us out, keep us sluggish so there won't be an uprising. Well, those J.V. tactics won't work against me. I'm a kicker. K-I-C-K-E-R. It even says so on my chart.

Needy Lesnicky

I wasn't always this cracked. I used to be normal. Well, as normal as any girl under the influence ofteenage hormones. But after the killings began, I started to feel—I don't know-loose around the edges or something.

Needy Lesnicky

This is where it all went down. "Devil's Kettle" sounds twisted, I know, but the place is just named after a waterfall. Technically, it's not a normal waterfall. It goes into this hole, and it doesn't come out. The scientist guys dropped all kinds ofthings down there, but nothing ever surfaces. Maybe it's another dimension. Or, you know, just really deep.

Needy Lesnicky

Jennifer didn't always look this rough. Just two months ago, me, Jennifer and my boyfriend, Chip, were completely normal people. We were our yearbook pictures. Nothing more, nothing less. There's Jennifer. Only back then, we were tight. Sisters, practically. People found it hard to believe that a babe like Jennifer...would associate with a dork like me. Sandbox love never dies.

Needy

How are you going to get alcohol?

Jennifer

I'll just play Hello Titty with the bartender.

Jennifer

I think the singer wants me.

Needy

Only because he thinks you're a virgin. I heard them talking.

Jennifer

Yeah, right. I'm not even a backdoor-virgin anymore, thanks to Roman. By the way, that hurts. I couldn't even go to flags the next day. I had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas.

Needy

Colin's really nice.

Jennifer

He listens to maggot rock. He wears nail polish. My dick is bigger than his.

Jennifer

Hey, Chip. It smells like Thai food in here... Have you guys been ****?

Needy

Ugh, you're gross!

Needy

Are you PMS'ing or something?

Jennifer

PMS isn't real Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem like we're crazy.

Needy

Jennifer's evil.

Chip

I know.

Needy

No. I mean, she's actually evil. Not high school evil.

Chip

She can fly?

Needy

She's just hovering... it's not that impressive.

Jennifer

God, do you have to undermine everything I do? You are such a player hater.

Needy

You're a jerk.

Jennifer

Nice insult, Hannah Montana. Got any more harsh digs?

Needy

You know what? You were never a good friend. Even when we were little you used to steal my toys, and pour lemonade on my bed.

Jennifer

And now I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.

Needy

Why do you need him? Huh? you can have anybody that you want, Jennifer. So... why Chip? Is it just to tick me off? Or is it just because you're just really insecure?

Jennifer

I am not insecure, Needy. God that was a joke, how could I ever be insecure? I was the Snowflake Queen!

Needy

Yeah, two years ago when you were socially relevant.

Jennifer

I am still socially relevant.

Needy

And when you didn't need laxatives to stay skinny.

Jennifer

I am going... to eat your soul... and SHIT IT OUT, LESNICKI!

Needy

I thought you only murdered boys.

Jennifer

I go both ways.

Needy

Best friends FOREVER, huh? You killed my **** boyfriend! You goddamned monster, you dumb BITCH!

Needy

Ya know what THIS is for? Huh? It's for cutting BOXES!

Jennifer

Do you buy ALL your murder weapons at Home Depot? God, you're butch!

Needy

Cross out Jennifer!

Jennifer

My tit.

Needy

No...your heart.

Passing Motorist

So, why are you headed east?

Needy

I'm following this rock band.

Passing Motorist

Must be one hell of a group.

Needy

Tonight's gonna be their last show.