Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes

126 total quotes

Ben Affleck
Brent
Brodie
Chaka Luther King
Chrissy
Cock-Knocker
Dante Hicks
Holden

Jay
Randal Graves
Reg Hartner
Scooby Doo
Sheriff
Sissy
Whillenholly
Willam Black

View Quote [to a customer at his comic shop, bending a comic's spine] It is a comic book, not your dick! Show some respect. Hold it like you'd hold a woman.

View Quote Whillenholly: Why are you shooting at me? I'm just a Federal Wildlife Marshall.
Chrissy: Two reasons. One: we're walking, talking, bad girl cliches!
Missy: And two: because you're a man!
Whillenholly: Only on the outside.

View Quote Willenholly: Oh my God. I'm paralyzed! That monkey shot me in the ass and paralyzed me! Oh sweet irony!
Justice: You're not paralyzed. It was just a tranquilizer.

View Quote [after the "Bluntman & Chronic" premiere]
Banky: God, I'm so embarrassed.
Hooper: You should be. They took your intellectual property and turned it into one 90-minute long gay joke. It was like watching "Batman & Robin" all over again.

View Quote Another white boy in this movie? Damn.

View Quote [staring up at the Bluntman and Chronic marquee] That's beautiful, man.

View Quote Jay: [the monkey has been put into a car] Man, who the **** steals monkeys?
Silent Bob: [Points to Jay and himself]
Jay: Oh yeah...

View Quote Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: Brenda?
Shannen Doherty: Dick!

View Quote [Chrissy breaks wind loudly in the diamond vault, causing the alarms to go off] Holy ****! The little stoner was right!

View Quote See? I told you that restraining order was a good idea.

View Quote [on his cell phone] Plaschke, this is Willenholly. I need you to get me on the national news, pronto. Why? Because we may very well be dealing with the two most dangerous men on the planet.

View Quote See? If you were funnier than that, ABC wouldn't have cancelled us.

View Quote Steve-Dave Pulasti: [at Brodie's Secret Stash] Boy, Walt. This store sure does suck ass, doesn't it?
Walt "Fanboy" Grover: Tell him, Steve-Dave.
Brodie: You're both banned.
Steve-Dave Pulasti: Holy Shit. Un-ban us. This guy'll suck your dick.
Brodie: I'm sure he will.
Walt "Fanboy" Grover: [Steve-Dave is forcing him onto his knees] NO!

View Quote And we do want to say to the people at home, the clit is not something to be played with.

View Quote [Walt and Steve-Dave leave the premiere of Bluntman & Chronic]
Steve-Dave Pulasti: Why can't Hollywood make a decent comic book movie?
Walt "Fanboy" Grover: Tell 'em Steve-Dave.
Steve-Dave Pulasti: Would you stop saying that?