Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes

126 total quotes

Ben Affleck
Brent
Brodie
Chaka Luther King
Chrissy
Cock-Knocker
Dante Hicks
Holden

Jay
Randal Graves
Reg Hartner
Scooby Doo
Sheriff
Sissy
Whillenholly
Willam Black

View Quote [to a customer at his comic shop, bending a comic's spine] It is a comic book, not your dick! Show some respect. Hold it like you'd hold a woman.

View Quote Whillenholly: Why are you shooting at me? I'm just a Federal Wildlife Marshall.
Chrissy: Two reasons. One: we're walking, talking, bad girl cliches!
Missy: And two: because you're a man!
Whillenholly: Only on the outside.

View Quote [after the "Bluntman & Chronic" premiere]
Banky: God, I'm so embarrassed.
Hooper: You should be. They took your intellectual property and turned it into one 90-minute long gay joke. It was like watching "Batman & Robin" all over again.

View Quote Willenholly: Oh my God. I'm paralyzed! That monkey shot me in the ass and paralyzed me! Oh sweet irony!
Justice: You're not paralyzed. It was just a tranquilizer.

View Quote Another white boy in this movie? Damn.

View Quote [staring up at the Bluntman and Chronic marquee] That's beautiful, man.

View Quote Jay: [the monkey has been put into a car] Man, who the **** steals monkeys?
Silent Bob: [Points to Jay and himself]
Jay: Oh yeah...

View Quote Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: Brenda?
Shannen Doherty: Dick!

View Quote [Chrissy breaks wind loudly in the diamond vault, causing the alarms to go off] Holy ****! The little stoner was right!

View Quote See? I told you that restraining order was a good idea.

View Quote [on his cell phone] Plaschke, this is Willenholly. I need you to get me on the national news, pronto. Why? Because we may very well be dealing with the two most dangerous men on the planet.

View Quote Steve-Dave Pulasti: [at Brodie's Secret Stash] Boy, Walt. This store sure does suck ass, doesn't it?
Walt "Fanboy" Grover: Tell him, Steve-Dave.
Brodie: You're both banned.
Steve-Dave Pulasti: Holy Shit. Un-ban us. This guy'll suck your dick.
Brodie: I'm sure he will.
Walt "Fanboy" Grover: [Steve-Dave is forcing him onto his knees] NO!

View Quote See? If you were funnier than that, ABC wouldn't have cancelled us.

View Quote Whillenholly: Fire a warning shot into his bulbous ass.
Sheriff: One rectal breach comin' up.

View Quote [Walt and Steve-Dave leave the premiere of Bluntman & Chronic]
Steve-Dave Pulasti: Why can't Hollywood make a decent comic book movie?
Walt "Fanboy" Grover: Tell 'em Steve-Dave.
Steve-Dave Pulasti: Would you stop saying that?