How did your date go?

My date involved two instances of extreme violence, one instance of her hand on my **** and my finger up her thing, which lasted all too briefly - isn't that always the way? - one instance of me stealing 5 grams of a very high quality cocaine and one instance of me blinding a poofy little skinhead, so, all in all, my evening pretty well balanced out...fine.

You've got five grams of coke?

[shakes head]

No, I got four grams on me and one gram in me, which me heart is going like the **** clappers as if I'm about to have a heart attack, so if I collapse any minute now please remember to tell the doctors it might have something to do with the coke.