Most scenes together: Hudson Hawk & Darwin Mayflower (3), Hudson Hawk & Tommy Five-Tone (3), Hudson Hawk & Anna (3)
I'm not a very good damsel in a dress, am I? (manly voice) You must pay the rent! (girly voice) But I can't pay the rent! (makes dolphin noises)
Yo, Flipper! A "damsel in distress" implies that there is some well-hung Dudley Do-Right galloping up to save you. It ain't gonna happen. Hudson Hawk go boom-boom. He dead.
Hey Mr. Hawk, I got your stamps.
So, Hawkmeister. We've got you clothes, a great hotel and a 250,000 lira per diem.
That's 200 dollars a day. So he can get a hooker and some tequila? Veto, Darwin!
I guess we see who wears the penis in this family.
The last ingredient in the recipe is Da Vinci's model of a helicopter...
...on display for three days only at the Louvre in Paris.
As opposed to the Louvre in Wisconsin?
Shut up! You're gonna make me lose my train of thought.
I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Rome. I did my first bare-handed strangulation here. Communist politician.
Why, George, you old softie.
Anna, we're supposed to be saving you.
I know. I got bored so I saved myself.
Don't I know you?
The last time you saw me, I was bald, with a beard and no mustache, and I had a different nose. So if you don't recognize me, I won't be offended.
My high school science teacher?
Look, you Eddie Munster-looking mother****er, someone better explain to me what is going on, or I ain't gonna move another muscle. I want to be treated like an adult!
That's fair. Now go to your room!
You're supposed to be all cracked up at the bottom of the hill!
Air bags! Can you **** believe it?
You're supposed to be blown up into fiery chunks of flesh!
Sprinkler system set up in the back! Can you **** believe it?
Good news Hawk, the Mayflowers have moved up the timetable, you're hitting the Vatican tonight.
Oh, no! No no, hold on, no way! The timing is off, I'm underequipped, and besides that, I've got a date.
Grapple, biker's bottle, pocket fisherman, olive oil, 100 stamps? Gee stud, this's going to be some date! No Harvey's Bristol Cream?
Did I miss anything?
Gates tries to blackmail me, you ask me "Did I miss anything?" Gates gets killed, you say "Did I miss anything?" I bet you went up to Mrs. Lincoln at Ford's Theatre and said "How was the show? Did I miss anything?"
Oh, no, you love me! It's your job! You probably love Butterfinger over there.
Well, yeah, in a weird sort of Catholic way, I do.
Get this **** thing off my head!
Hey Tommy, look at Snickers.
Yeah, he's about to have a bad migraine.
Darwin Mayflower Tommy, you New-York-Italian-father-made-twenty-bucks-a-week-son-of-a-bitch! You were hired as bait, and on this one simple task you have betrayed me! Do you have an answer why?
I got five of them! [punches Darwin]
I feel like a dolphin who's never tasted melted snow. What does the color blue taste like? Bobo knows! (laughs) I must speak with the dolphins now. Eeeee-eeee-eee-eeeeeee!
