Sloane
When did Halloween go from dressing up like a princess to dressing up like a whore?
Oh, I dunno, like, sixth grade?
Daisy
What's a whore?
Um, somebody who gets paid to play with boys.
I wanna be a whore.
Daisy
Me, too.
Okay, but just remember that the house gets fifty per cent.
Daisy
So, Aunt Sloane, why DIDN'T you call Rodney?
Sloane
Why didn't YOU call Rodney?
Daisy
Because I already have a boyfriend. His name is Levi, and he shares his juice box with me every day at recess.
Sloane
Well, good for you, Daisy. You enjoy it while you can, 'cause one day you are gonna walk outside and you're gonna catch Levi sharing his juice box with a Starbucks barista named Rainbow. Yeah. Not a good day, Daisy. It hurts. It hardens you. And the next thing you know, you're just south of thirty sitting at the kids table numbing the pain with a vodka.
Sloane
Just rip it. Okay, just, just... You know? Just-just rip it. Just... just rip it. Just... just... RIP MY **** PANTS OFF! [doors open]
Sloane
**** holidays. [stubs out a cigarette on a Christmas decoration Santa]
York
Aunt Sloane, life if giving you a moment. Don't **** it up.
Sloane
Nobody drops Baby on her head.
Liz
You can't watch porn on Valentine's Day!
Jackson
You had me at Lester.
