Elaine Oh, well, I know the holidays can be stressful, but no man wants to marry a smoker... who lies.
Well, no man wants a bitchy mother-in-law, so I guess that's three strikes.
Played by Frances Fisher 
Holidate (2020) · 23 quotes
Holidate (2020) · 23 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Holidate (2020): in 4 of its 23 quotes
Most scenes with: Sloane (4)
Scenes with Elaine
4 scenes Elaine Elaine I want you to find someone who has real potential, not this holidate crap like your aunt.
She seems like she's having fun.
Elaine She's gonna die alone in a wheelchair and a diaper. Is that what you want?
Do I get a male nurse?
Elaine She doesn't need another friend. She needs a husband, a partner, someone who is legally bound to be there during the chemo.
What chemo?
Elaine Oh, honey, don't kid yourself. You have bad genes - and bald women don't really get a lot of dates.
You have nothing to worry about, okay? Sloane is a great girl - even bald.
Elaine Then why aren't you sleeping with her?
Elaine This is what you wear to Christmas dinner? Don't you even own a dress?
I'm great, Mom. Thanks. House looks... beautiful.
Elaine Well, your Aunt Susan brought at-the-mall Santa home, and, uh, your nephew just pooped in the manger.
Abby
Ugh, it was a tiny poo. I mean, he moved the baby Jesus first.
